Friday, March 31, 2006

Teaser Days

Today is another gorgeous day! This is a day I like to call a teaser day. Teaser days occur in the spring and the fall. They are days that are nice and warm, most of the time sunny, sometimes not. They come once in a while, sometimes in pairs, and if we're in luck, they might come three days in a row! They are days that say, "It's spring, it's nice, but not all spring days are nice like this!" And then the next day, the temperature is much cooler, and we need to break out the sweaters again. Well, most of us have to anyway! The same thing happens in the fall. No matter which season it is, we always long for more teaser days!!

I have a couple of windows open, one on each side of the house. I opened the bathroom window, which enticed the cat to sit there for a few hours! He misses the windows being open just as much as I do! I also opened a kitchen window, which inspired me to clean! The dishes are done, and I took apart the burners on top of the stove and cleaned all that area. I'm now eating lunch, and trying to decide whether to clean more, or just go sit on the porch before we get the thunderstorms they predicted. Hmmmm, what to do?? hehe

I'll be outside.....

Thursday, March 30, 2006

A Beauty of A Day!

It's gorgeous out today! I thought yesterday was so nice, but today has been even better. The wonderfully warm sunshine has felt so good, and made me happy! I exercised this morning, and then made a quick decision to go visit my dad since it was almost his lunch time. I brought him some banana chocolate chip cake that I made the other morning, so he had that with lunch, too! We sat outside the pipe shop in the sun, and chatted while he ate. It was rather nice! Too bad he only had half an hour!

Afterward, I went to my mom's house. We chatted, and had lunch. It was nice! Then I decided to go back home and try cleaning up some crap on my lawn. Having a house on the corner isn't always fun. It sort of becomes a dumping ground, with newspapers, bottles, cigarette packs, and a variety of other things left throughout the year! I walked around with a garbage bag, picking up various items on the lawn and hiding in the bushes. Bending over constantly is not a good thing for me, so after about 20 minutes, I was rather tired. But at least I got everything I could see! Hopefully my landlords (aka my parents) will be willing to rake out the bushes, since I can't really do it!

After all that, I decided I need to sit down.....on my front porch! I found some sun, parked my butt down, and read my book (and watched traffic and people passing by) for quite some time! I am now pretty tired, and I'm feeling the need for a light siesta!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Comment Control!

Due to the fact that I keep getting unsolicited comments about loans in my journal (which I keep deleting!!), I guess I'm going to have to put controls on the comments I get. I'll have to proof them first. Not that I get all that many, but still, what a pain!! I hate it when people try to advertise, though! Hopefully it'll stop!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Memories

Today is a stark contrast to the day 12 years ago when I learned that my Grandpa passed away. It was a beautiful sunny day, much warmer than it is today. My Grandpa had been in the hospital for almost a month, fighting every moment of being there. He constantly pulled out his IVs, or tried to, until they finally put them down near his ankle. He always wanted to go home. Little did he know that if he ever left the hospital, he wasn't going back to the home he loved. My parents had been trying to find the right nursing home for him, which my grandpa would have absolutely hated. In a way, I think it was a blessing that he passed away in the hospital, for he would have been miserable if he couldn't go back to his home.

In the 12 years since my Grandpa has gone home to God, I've gone through alot of emotions. The first few years were hard for me. I cried every year on the anniversary of his death, because it still seemed like it just happened. Over the years, it's gotten better. I usually try to go to the cemetary, depending on the weather. The past few years, I've remembered the day, but then I've forgotten to go remember grandpa at the cemetary, or in my thoughts and prayers.

This year, today, I'm missing him very much. And I'm wondering if he's missing us. I'm sure he is. Our family has grown over the years. Two out of my three cousins have married. One of them has two children. One of my sisters has gotten married, and has a baby. Another sister is getting married this summer. I wonder if Grandpa has been there to watch over us through all our changes and additions. I'd like to think that he is.

Here's to you, Grandpa. I love you as much as I did the day you passed away, and I always will. You will always live on in my memory, and in my heart.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Doing Better

Well, after my morning rant, I feel better than I did when I woke up. That's because I slept most of the day. After I got up from my second nap, I didn't feel so fatigued as I did from my first nap and when I woke up this morning. So hopefully, I'll be doing better tomorrow, too!

I changed my answering machine message today, also. It now sounds like this:

You have reached (phone number). Please leave a message at the beep. If you are looking for Darlene or Dana Destino, they no longer use this number, and I have no idea who they are. Thanks.

I don't know if this will help me out at all, but I figured, what the heck?? It can't hurt! Not many people use my house number anyway. Except the people looking for the Destinos. lol

This Is Getting Ridiculous!!

I'm in a pissy, foul mood this morning. I lost an hour of sleep because my house phone rang at 4:40 this morning. The phone is in my bedroom, which I really must reconsider. I let the machine pick it up, and I listened to some woman asking Darlene if she wanted to work the morning shift at S2 today, and to call her as soon as she could. The first thought that came across me after the woman hung up was, "What the fuck??" Darlene Destino is really beginning to piss me off. She gets rid of her phone number, and since I got it in June, I've gotten calls from obviously good friends, her doctor's office, the WIC program, her pharmacy, her child's school, and her work. Why on earth wouldn't you give your new number to these places??? Wouldn't you consider them important?? I am waiting for the new phone books to come out next month. If Darlene's phone number is still listed as mine, I'm calling the phone company and asking for a new number. This is just ridiculous!!

I'm also pissy because I woke up to snow on the ground. IT IS SPRING, ACT LIKE IT DAMN IT!!!

Ok, I'm going back to bed. Maybe I'll wake up in a better mood!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Evaluations

Last week I received an email from Euan, and then I talked to him online later that evening. He had written to tell me that he was feeling a bit better lately, but that his grandmother's death made him evaluate his own life and where he's at right now. He told me that he sees all his friends and family members getting married, having children, owning a house, living a normal life. And he feels like he's being left behind. He wonders if he'll ever find that special someone to spend the rest of his life with, if he'll be a father, if he'll be able to make enough money to buy a house of his own. Then he asked me how I feel knowing I'll never live a normal kind of life like everyone else I know. Since we both are in situations where our health is a huge influence in what happens with our lives, he wanted to know how I deal with the fact that I may never have what I've always wanted in life.

The first thing I asked Euan when I wrote him back was "What is normal??" I don't think any one of us could say we live a "normal" life. What might be normal for one person wouldn't be normal for another. The second thing I told him was that I don't feel behind in regards to where my family and friends are in their lives. In fact, I am so close to everyone I love, that I feel I'm very much up-to-date. The people I love ARE my life. I constantly keep in touch with everyone, and vice versa. I can't stand it when I haven't heard from someone, or I don't know what they've been up to. It's not that I'm nosy, it's because I really care about them. I've always been that way, and I always will be.

I did admit to Euan that there have been many times when I've been sad that I don't have things that most people in my life have. For example, I wish that I could have continued the career that I had to quit when I barely got started. I miss teaching a lot, because I loved it. But if I hadn't quit, I might not even be here today. It was too overwhelming for me physically, and I got sick too often. But there are things in my life that I grew up knowing I wouldn't have, like a house. I can't take care of a house. I can't even take care of some of the chores in my apartment without help, like vacuuming (ok, I admit doing that, but I really shouldn't!!) or wshing floors. Forget yardwork, the thought if trying to rake or shovel gets me out of breath. I've also always known that I can't bear children. And while many people tell me I could adopt, taking care of a little baby is a physical challenge that I wouldn't be able to cope with. So I find myself being the best aunt I can be, whether it's to my sisters' children or to my friends' children. I love them all so dearly! (and when they are being fussy or misbehaving, I can give them back to their parents! hehe) And as for being in a relationship, I told him that if it's meant to happen, then it will. If not, then I'm not worried about it, because I have plenty of people in my life that make me happy.

The last thing I told Euan was that, although it took me some time to come to this realization, I am exactly where God wants me to be. I may not understand all the reasons why my life has turned out the way it is. God had His reasons. But I think they've made me a stronger person. At least that's what people tell me all the time. It's nice to be seen that way, although I know that I am not strong all the time. But right now, I am happy with my life. I've had one of the healthiest winters ever in the longest time. I hope to continue that now that spring is here. I started a support group, something I was so nervous about, but I am extremely proud of. I think I was meant to start it, and I'm so happy I did! I make jewelry, and I tutor, both of which I enjoy and can make a little bit of a profit. I'm back into exercising, which makes a difference on how I feel. I'm going to be involved in three weddings this spring/summer, and I can't wait to dance!! Life is good for me right now. I couldn't be happier.

Euan told me later that evening that my email was something he needed to hear/read. He said that everything I wrote about is what he needs to contemplate, that no matter what his life is like right now, it's where he's supposed to be. I hope that he is able to continue to move on after his grandmother died. He is a great person, I can see that and did see it when we met. Hopefully one day we can start hanging out more like we had planned way back in December. I'm not looking for anything more than a friendship with him, but I never know what will happen. He just needs to continue to get back on his feet and I hope he will be able to do that!

Monday, March 20, 2006

Spring Has Sprung!

Welcome Spring!! It officially arrives at 6pm today, at least that's what I heard someone say on the radio. Whatever the case, the calendar has officially ended the winter. I wish Mother Nature worked that way, though. Too bad the weather doesn't automatically switch to what it says on the calendar! Today's temperatures don't sound spring-ish at all, and it won't feel that way for most of the week! Oh well, I guess what I should be thankful for is that another winter has gone by, leading to hopefully another great summer weather-wise! Yes, I like the heat!!

Spring seems to bring with it so many promises and newness. I love seeing things start coming back to life after a long nap in the cold. I saw my first robin on the golf course the other day, and I was elated! I was always excited to see robins when I was little, because I knew that meant spring was coming. Another sign of spring that I truly love are the tulips. The are my absolute favorite flower! I have already seen a few sprouting around my house, so I know they will start popping up within the next few weeks. And I can't wait to see them!

While I'm excited spring is here, I can't wait for it to start feeling more like spring in the air. I can't wait for days where I only need a light jacket or a heavy sweater when I go outside. I even welcome the rain, for I know it'll make things grow and return to life! So welcome spring!! It's good to have you back!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Better Luck Next Time

Well, it's almost 10:30pm, and I'm sooooo ready for bed. Yes, I was supposed to be going out tonight, but we decided not to go. Erin was exhausted from being out all day, and I was rather tired myself. I went down to my parents' house for dinner, which was quite tasty! But when I went back home, I had a hard time walking from the garage to my house because the temperatures were so darn cold! Very cold air hurts my poor little lungs! As I was catching my breath in the hallway, I decided right then that I wasn't going to try walking from the parking lot to the bar. Oh well, there's always a next time!!

Happy St. Patty's Day!


Not only is it St. Patrick's Day today, it is also my half birthday! LOL I am supposed to be going out tonight to celebrate my friend, Erin's, birthday (which was yesterday). Plus it's St. Patty's Day, so we'll be celebrating that, too! And why not celebrate the fact that today is also the halfway mark until my next birthday?? More reason to go out and have some fun!! Whoooo hoooo! Hopefully I can find something green to wear! Even if it's just jewelry!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Healthy Habits

I've been trying in the past few months to keep up with some healthier habits that I started for several reasons. High cholesterol and diabetes run in my family. I have high cholesterol, which seems unreal to some people since I don't even weigh 100lbs soaking wet (I'm almost there, though!). I didn't think I could get diabetes because of my weight, but apparently, the possibility is there. This scares me, because living with pulmonary hypertension is bad enough. I do NOT want to add diabetes to the list!

For that reason, and several others, I've been keeping up with some healthy habits, or at least, I think they are healthy! They include:

**Since a couple weeks before Christmas, I decided to start eating an apple every morning as part of my breakfast. I thought it would get to be a boring routine after a couple weeks, but I actually miss my apple when I run out of them!

**I just recently decided to have some sort of cereal for breakfast with my apple and orange juice. I've been trying to eat more oatmeal, since I know that is healthy, but when I don't feel like making any, I'll eat a bowl of Grape Nuts. Yum!

**For about two months now, I eat 10 almonds after I eat my apple in the morning. Not only are almonds my favorite nut, they are known to be very healthy for you in moderate amounts! Hence, I eat only 10!

**I think it was around Christmas when I decided to eat 2 pieces of dark chocolate after dinner every night. I keep hearing about the benefits of dark chocolate. I figure 2 pieces a day can't hurt me. And shockingly, I don't ever eat any more than that! I really find that hard to believe, since I'm a chocolate addict!!

**Just yesterday, I made a decision to start a new healthy habit that I should have been doing forever. I read that you should drink half your body weight in water a day. For me, that would be about 48oz, or 6 glasses, a day. I am lucky if I just drink 2 glasses of water. That is horrible, and I'm not doing my body any good by not drinking that much! So, I decided that when I get up in the morning, I measure 6 cups of water into a pitcher, and I have to drink all of it by the end of the day. So far......I've done it 2 days in a row!! Whooo hooo! I think this is one habit that will definitely be a challenge for me, but I hope to keep it up!

**Not only am I trying to eat some healthier things, I'm also trying to keep up with exercise. I've been doing pretty well with it since January 1st. There are still some weeks where I don't walk as much, but then there are some when I walk almost every day. I have to say one thing, I do have my muscles back!! I walk and then do some light cardio, since I am not allowed to do a ton of things. I don't want to wear out my poor heart! It feels great to be back into exercising, and I hope it will continue for a loooooooong time!

**I know this one sounds dumb almost, but you wouldn't believe how many people don't do this habit. Every time I blow my nose, I wash my hands or use antibacterial sanitizer. I seriously think that this is one reason I have not gotten sick this winter! Knocking on all the wood around me!

I hope to keep up these habits for quite a while, maybe the rest of my life! I plan on asking my regular doctor if I can have another cholesterol test done the next time I see her. I think that is in May. I haven't had one done in at least a year, maybe longer. I'd like to see what my numbers are, and if anything has gone down since the last time. Hopefully I will also continue my streak of not getting sick! It's actually been a great feeling to not deal with a cold. I had a few doozy colds last winter, and it takes so much longer for me to get rid of them since I can't take decongestants. So those are my healthy habits! Maybe I'll come up with a few more soon!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Busy Busy!

I realized I haven't posted in like 2 weeks. Geesh, how time flies! I've been keeping busy, though. So I guess that's a good thing!

I went to my friend, Monique's, bridal shower last weekend. It was nice, and one of the biggest showers I've ever been to! Of course, her wedding will be one of the biggest ones I've ever been to, with over 300 guests invited. The shower had about 120 women there! We all received nice gifts, and we each got prizes when our name was pulled out of a basket. The only glitch during the event was when one of her aunts got really sick suddenly, and an ambulance was called. She was brought to the hospital after a while, and Mo told me that she was home by last Tuesday. But I just felt terrible when it happened. She was so upset, and no one seemed to know what to do. But anyhow, it turned out to be ok, which is nice! And the rest of the shower went well.

Last week I spent making some jewelry, exercising, reading, and some cleaning. I didn't have to tutor on Wednesday since the little boy's mother had to bring their cat to the vet. I guess it was really sick. I felt bad, because she sounded upset about it. I hope the cat is ok, but I guess I won't know until this Wednesday.

This weekend was very nice, weather-wise. Well, just very nice in general, too! I went out yesterday to find a gift for my friend, Renee, whose birthday is tomorrow! I think she will like what I got her, but I can't say what it is since she reads this. lol My friend, Erin, also has a birthday this week, so I need to get something for her, too. I plan on going out for St. Patty's Day with her, to celebrate her birthday, too. That'll be fun!

Anyway, I went out last night with Dee. It was one of her friend's birthdays, so they all went out for it. It was an interesting time. I did have fun, but I think I was more tired than I thought I was, so I wasn't in a party mood. Plus, one of the bars had too much smoke from the smoking room coming in, and it drove me nuts. When I went to bed last night, I smelled like smoke, and I think I didn't get much sleep from it. So, I slept quite a bit today. lol But, I'm doing better now, feeling rested!

My sister, Lisa, finally picked out our dresses to wear in the wedding. Mandy and I are going to try them on tomorrow, so we can start an ordering list. Hopefully the other girls in the party will get their orders in asap, since we don't have any time to spare in getting them in. The wedding is at the end of July, and it can take at least 3 months for them to come in. The dress is pretty, and I think I just have to try it on to see exactly how it's going to fit. And it's flowy! I wanted to wear a flowy dress! :)

That's it for now, I suppose. I can't think of anything else to talk about. I need to keep writing more consistently, but I have said that for years when keeping a journal. It comes and goes. So, til next time....

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Puppies, Anyone?

Apparently, I have black lab puppies to give away. I've gotten three phone calls today, asking if I'm the one who was advertising the puppies. One person asked me if I was Dino Destino, and when I said no, proceeded to ask me about the black bundles of fur. When I said I didn't have any puppies, nor did I advertise any, the person just paused, and then said "oh." As if I was joking. Geesh! Oh well, hopefully that will be it with the calls!!

I haven't exercised in two days, mainly because my left knee has been hurting. I don't know what I did to it! I don't rememeber straining it, bending it the wrong way, or banging it on anything. It's rather frustrating not exercising! Now that I haven't, I have been more prone to wanting a nap! Every day I have exercised, I usually don't end up taking one since I have more energy. So hopefully my knee will feel better tomorrow, and I can exercise again!

I have to tutor tonight. Here's hoping I make it through the entire hour with this kid. He's difficult to work with because he doesn't want to do anything, and he constantly asks me if we're done. I have a couple more games that I hope he's interested in doing!! I really do want to help him learn more! Wish me luck!!