Daily Ponderings

July 31, 2009 I had a somewhat restless night. It's still raining, and it's very blah out. Gee, kinda like home! I woke up at 6:30am and decided to see if I could spot any deer in the backyard. I put on my glasses and sat on the floor to look out the window. I thought perhaps I had spotted a deer, but the gloominess of the early morning and the fact that my glasses are not the same prescription as my contacts made me finally realize that it was just part of a tree. Duh! So I went back to bed, woke up about an hour later to take Revatio , and looked out the window again. Still no deer. Oh well, maybe tomorrow. ---------------------------------------------------- We just got back from having lunch with my cousin, Ryhan , and two of her daycare kids. We had the lunch buffet at Pizza Hut. It wasn't too bad, considering I never eat there anymore. The kids get to eat free, so that's a plus! Afterward, mom and I went to a store called Bargain Hut. Mom grew up knowing the shop ...

I went to my Grandma's house in Horseheads, NY last Wednesday to Sunday with my mom. I wrote. A lot. So, I'm going to type the entries I wrote here. I'd scan them, but my handwriting isn't the best for some reason, and I don't want to blind anyone. lol July 30, 2009 I'm sitting on my Grandma's front porch listening to music. My mom and I got here last night. We had left around 3:30, a little later than my mom had wanted. The trip isn't that long really, about 3 hours give or take. The ride down started out wet and a little worrisome. My mom was rather sleepy! When we stopped at the Scottsville rest stop, she got a snack and a drink, and that helped. I had also popped in my Michael Jackson CD, and we bebopped to that the rest of the way! We at at Friendly's when we got into town. It was rather noisy in there! We lost our Friendly's over a decade ago, so I forgot how loud that place could be. By the time we ate and got to Grandma's, it was clos...

When my Grandpa S. died 15 years ago, I got several items from him, including a table, his glass candy dish, and his hope chest. The hope chest has been in my parents' basement all this time, which I didn't care about for the first 10 years since I hadn't moved and then when I did move, I kinda forgot it was there. But the past couple of years, I was really hoping to have it. It needed to be stripped and stained and completely refinished. My mom said last September she'd do it, and had started, but the stripping stuff was making her ill. I had tried to help her, but that stuff is really lethal!! I finally asked Eve in June if she'd come over to help strip it and stain it, and she spent a Friday afternoon at my parents' doing just that. So, here are the pictures! A week after she stained the hope chest, I bought the stuff to put over the finish, and put it on a couple times one of the days that Lisa was here. Finally last week, the hope chest was brought over by ...

A month ago today we lost Mason, and it still seems like it was yesterday. The pain isn't as unbearable as it was that first week. But I still miss him like crazy. I still see his picture sometimes, and my brain just can't comprehend that I won't be talking to him anymore. And that brings me to tears. It's getting better, but I know it's going to take time. I'm still trying to keep myself busy. I went back to rehab today, which was a little brutal since I hadn't exercised in a week. I didn't bother going while Lisa was in town last week. I have to pay for another 8 sessions very soon, but unfortunately just don't have the money this month to do it. So I went today, but I won't go Thursday. I'll do the same next week. And if I have to, I just won't go for another week. I can exercise at home, which is good. I just can't give up the rehab because I KNOW myself. I won't exercise at home regularly!! My hope chest is done, except for t...

The last night Lisa was here, the sistores went for coffee with Brandon, the baby, and Lisa's friend, Kat. Kat took a picture of the 4 of us, since it had been so long since we last took a sistore pic! So here we are, from left to right: Mandy, Lisa, me and Joanie. I love you, my sistores!!

A little Southern baby arrived with his mommy and daddy in Niagara Falls on the 4th of July for a week-long visit, and I can't believe how much he has grown since I met him in March/April! My nephew is just beautiful! He's so much more alert now, and has little smiles and tiny laughs, too. It's amazing how much babies change in just a few short months. Heck, even in a couple weeks! He is really growing well, and that makes me happy! Our family spent the 4th at Mandy's house for dinner, and it was a lot of fun! Lots of good food was had, stories to share. The best part was seeing how enthralled Mandy's kids were to meet their cousin for the first time! Every time the little guy made some sort of noise, my niece would say "What's the matter with the baby??" It cracked us up! My nephew would give his cousin kisses, which was really cute to see. It'll be neat to watch them all play together when the baby gets a couple years older. I wish we all lived r...

When I go through really tough times, I tend to rely heavily on music to help me get through the rough patches. This has been especially true since Mason's death. I've been listening (and crying) to music that reminds me of him, or happens to tell how much he meant to me. I've also been listening to music that he liked, songs he told me about, and songs I tried to get him to like. lol I was listening to my earphones late one night, unable to sleep, and the song "Who Knew?" by Pink came on. I listened to the lyrics, and they just really fit. Who knew that I'd only Mason for 3 short years? If someone could have told me that I wouldn't know him much longer, I'd never believe them. It feels like he has always been there. I think the biggest problem I'm trying to get over is the fact that I had been wanting to tell him for weeks how much he meant to me, and that I loved him as a best friend. I had told him that a long time before, but when he was in the...

When I found out Mason was in the hospital, I had bought a card for him to let him know how much he meant to me, and that I hope he'd get well soon. Sadly, I couldn't give him that card with the words I had wanted to write. Instead, several days after he passed, I wrote the following to him. Hopefully it can be read by a phriend today at his funeral service. I wish I could be there to say goodbye, but I will be going down by the Niagara River at the time of his service to remember all the wonderful things we shared. Dear HB, I had bought this card when I found out you were in the hospital. It's short and sweet, but it says everything about our friendship. I feel like I've known you forever instead of the 3 short years we got to know each other. I feel such a void now that you are gone. I miss starting my days with you, and I miss you being the last person I said goodnight to. I miss all our conversations in between. But-I am sure you hear me talking to you all during th...

Sad and shocking news today in learning about the death of Michael Jackson at the pretty young age of 50. I don't care much about all the negative crap about him in the past several years. I love his music. LOVE it. He is such an American icon, and I know his music will live on forever. Here's a live video of one of my fav songs, Billie Jean!!

Growing up with pulmonary hypertension and congenital heart disease was sometimes lonely, because there wasn't anyone around me who felt the same way I did physically. No one had to stay out of gym because they got too tired and too short of breath like I did on a constant basis. No one had to wear a holter monitor like the one time I had to in 4th grade. Talk about trying to play mum ball in class, all you could hear was the monitor thing making noise. Although I could always go to sports games, I wasn't able to participate in any type of sport, because again, it was just physically way too much for my body to handle. I didn't really regret any of this. I thought it was just me and my normal. I thought I was the only person out there who really dealt with this kind of thing, but that was ok. I graduated high school, and started college. I worked, went to classes, and in the last year of college, started going out a lot more. I graduated with my education degree, and began ...

No kitchen flooring!! Everything got ripped up, including the subfloor. The wallpaper was all pulled down, too! The body drawing of Ron on the subflooring. LOL!! Kinda faint, but you can see it if you look closely! My face contribution and the date we ripped up the floors! My niece's drawing!! Isn't it cute?? I think it was a self-portrait! lol Part of the new wood laminate flooring! More wood flooring..... Ta-wa (as my nephew says!) Dining room flooring is done!! The rug is back in place, and looks nice with the floor! The newly painted kitchen...it's a green color, not sure if you can really see it! I tried another shot in the corner, still not sure the green comes out all that good! Some of the new kitchen floor! Part of the kitchen floor! Almost done with the kitchen! Another Ta-wa!!! Kitchen flooring is done! The kitchen going into the dining room!

Yesterday was another day of remodeling at my parents, but there wasn't much I could do, except kid patrol again. My mom showed up with the kids at my house a little after 11am, so we hung out in the yard for awhile. I showed them London, the pigeon (who is still residing with us despite the fact she's supposed to have a home?? Oh well! lol), and they were fascinated! That kept them entertained for about 10 minutes. My mom was trying to clip weeds, and the dead lilacs off the tree, and I got a big garbage bag so the kids could help clean up since they loved doing it yesterday at my parents. However, my nephew just wasn't having a good day, so my mom said she needed to walk back down to the house. My niece didn't want to go! I said I'd take her inside for awhile. My niece had a blast finding all my bettas, looking for Mittens in the cupboard, and coloring and playing with stickers on my kitchen table. She LOVED sitting on the high chairs! I realized a little after 12...

During this past week, I really felt rather crappy until Friday. I know I overdid it last weekend with the helping out, but I'm glad I was at least able to help! Although I did want to go help paint the green color in the kitchen, I just never felt well enough to go over and do it. But when I got over to my parents' this morning, I walked into the kitchen and I thought the color looked nice! It brightens up the kitchen, and doesn't make it seem too small, which it is. The only thing I really did was help with a few touchups, and then I helped with kid patrol! Ron worked on the kitchen floor the whole time, which wasn't as easy as doing the dining room. He still has to finish up tomorrow, but there isn't a ton to do. He got 2/3rds of it done, so at least that is good! So, I'll be back down tomorrow again! It's been nice seeing the kids so much, and my family. I only wish Lisa could be here. She did call this afternoon to see how the progress was going, but h...

I got to my parents' this morning around 9:30. After a late start, I started priming the walls in the kitchen behind the fridge, and the afternoon consisted of priming and getting high. Whoo hoo! After 2 coats everywhere, and 3 coats in some areas, the priming was complete! My mom painted the section behind the fridge with the green paint she chose, but it was really light. Even after a 2nd coat, we all agreed that it was a bit too light. So, she'll bring the paint back tomorrow or some time this week to ask them to darken it to the next shade. So, that was the huge majority of what I did today! Ron worked on putting down the dining room floor, and he got it finished this evening. It looks AMAZING!!! He did a great job, and it really made the room look different!! I do have pictures, but I am way too tired to fiddle with getting them online tonight. I'll work on it tomorrow or at some point this week! Next weekend, the remodeling will continue when Ron puts down the kitchen...

The flooring project for my parents' house began today. I was at their house at 9am, and for quite awhile I was upstairs on kid duty! We played with Legos for awhile, and then I took out the old Fisher Price Farm (the ORIGINAL farm, not that plastic shit they have now where you push a button and it makes the animal noises for the kids.....whatever happened to imagination, Fisher Price??? lol), and Mandy's old My Little Pony stable, with a ton of ponies! It brought back some memories!! After awhile, we ventured downstairs, watched some cartoons, and my parents bought a huge thing of pizza for lunch. After that, it was time to move things out of the dining room to get the floor up in the there! Mandy and Ron ripped up the flooring in the kitchen, all 3 layers of it. However, in the dining room, they decided to leave in the subflooring. So, we wrote on it!! I drew a smiley face, then wrote Floor RIP 5/30/09. Awhile later, my dad was joking about doing a chalk outline of a dead p...

It's hard to believe that the long weekend is almost over. Weekends don't seem long to me anymore anyway, since it's the same old thing all the time. Not working for 9 years does that to you. Or maybe it's just me! Anyway, my weekend has been rather nice. My parents' 35th anniversary was last Monday. My sistores and I had been trying to come up with a surprise for them, but we were trying to look around, shop and compare, and come up with the best prices for what we could try to afford. So, we didn't have our surprise ready on Monday to tell them. Friday, however, we put the plan into action! I made a homemade anniversary card with a picture of my parents on the front from Mandy's wedding. On the inside of the card, I wrote some nice stuff, and at the end, gave them 3 options to choose from. They were Surprise #1, #2, and #3! I walked down to my parents' house around 6:30. Joanie was on the porch, and we chatted for a bit. My mom saw me and asked if I w...

I get Mittens a new litter box, and he still likes to hang out on it once in awhile. lol It's usually when I'm at the table eating something he wants and isn't going to get!! Ok, so I was a little bored. Well, not really. More like, procrastinating! I may have a skirt and short-sleeved shirt on, but I haven't switched over my wardrobe yet. I'm avoiding it for some reason, even though it's been so nice out!! Mittens is laying like a slug in the background on his bubblewrap. LOL!!

I decided to go to Amherst today, about a 25 minute ride or so from the Falls. There are quite a few stores out there that aren't around here, including Michael's Craft store. I wanted to get a gift card, and of course, browse at beads! So I set out around noonish. I left the house and said goodbye to my little man sitting in the windowsill in the bathroom! He was meowing back at me, and it was just too cute! I wanted to go back into the house to pet him, but I went to the garage, pulled the car out, and pulled up to the side of the house to roll down my window and say goodbye again. lol I made my way to Amherst, jammin' to tunes and enjoying the sunshine and nice weather! I got to Michael's, and maybe it was a good thing, but there was just not much on sale in the bead department. Oh, I enjoyed browsing everything, but I only bought 3 items. One was on sale, one I got for 40% off with the coupon I printed out (whoo hooo!), and one was just a purchased item. I wandered ...

I know, I said I was going to update the day after my last post, and I never did. Every time I think about posting something, it's so late and I'm too tired to think. Like now. But I thought, I'll type something anyway! So if it doesn't make too much sense, sorry. I'm very tired!! The movie I saw last Friday night was Obsessed, with Béyonce. I said to my friends, I could have waited a few years and seen it on the Lifetime network. lol It was an ok movie, I'd give it one paw up. Saturday, my PH support group meeting went very well! I had 25 people, the new location worked out wonderful, and the food was excellent and ABUNDANT!! The speaker was a pharmacist from Accredo, and he discussed the PH meds, how different meds treat a different aspect of PH, and taking other meds while on the PH drugs. Questions were asked, jokes were shared (someone asked about drinking alcohol, and then several more asked about it too....we sounded like a group of lushes LOL), and it wa...