Hmmm

I'm trying not to make too big a deal of this, but last night, I told "him" about how I have felt about him for the last few years. He took it okay, but it got to a point where I wasn't sure if he was saying stuff b/c I had told my feelings, or if he really meant it. I think I might have made him mad, although he didn't say he was. I'm just confused! However, I'm also trying not to make this a big deal. I'm sure nothing will change, it never did before, when I told him almost 4 years ago how I felt. Damn, it's been that long?? Ugh, will I ever get him out of my head?? Actually, it's more like will I ever get him out of my heart. :(

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Health Changes

 I finally thought I was making progress with my anxiety that had ramped up again back in November of last year. It's been a very long road of not feeling good, trying to increase the Remeron, trying to learn once again that my life is worth a whole lot of SOMETHING. The tremendous loss of my mom, my grandma, a couple of dear phriends, and the nursing home volunteering put a huge pressure of my value of what my life is supposed to be like. However, I had finally started to turn that around. In June, I was robbed (another story for another time, maybe), and on that day I figured that out, I realized I wasn't anxious at all. I was pumped with adrenaline that whole day since I was so angry, so I thought for sure the anxiety would be back again, but it wasn't. And for at least a month and a half, it's been pretty decent. I've been so thankful for that.  But in the last several weeks, I don't know what has happened to my body, especially my abdominal area, but I have
Read more

My Most Inspiring Possession

Image
A dear friend named Judi, whose journal I've been reading for years, has brought back her ARTSY ESSAY CONTEST ! I'm very excited about this, and hope that others will read the wonderful essays already posted in Judi's blog! Here is the topic for this month's new installment: What is your favorite and most inspiring possession? Tell us about it, and if you want an extra creative challenge... tell us about it without naming it until the very last sentence of your essay:):):) I own alot of possessions. When I first moved out of my parents' house, almost 9 years ago, I took this possession with me. It was mine, I had bought it, but I did allow the other members of my family to use it from time to time while I was at home. This possession has been a tremendous outlet for me to do a wide variety of things. I was able to record the barking of our first family dog, something that was cherished when she sadly died way too early for her doggy lifespan. I also was able to save
Read more

The Ideal Day

Once again, it's that time of month for dear Judi's Artsy Essay Contest! Please see the rules and regulations for this month here . I entered a couple month's ago when Judi decided to revive this wonderful contest, and decided I'd like to give it a shot this month! Here goes! My Ideal Day My ideal day would start out at 7am to get ready for work, instead of getting up to take a pill. My ideal day would be going to work as a teacher, instead of wondering if I'd feel well enough to do anything for that day. My ideal day would be working out at a gym, instead of hoping to have enough energy to just walk for 6 minutes on the treadmill at home. My ideal day would be to freely walk about around my home and in public, instead of being tethered to a plastic tube going into my nose, providing oxygen to keep me going. My ideal day would be remembering meeting times with friends or family, instead of keeping track of the 8 different times I need to take a pill or vitamin in
Read more