Daily Ponderings

A month ago today we lost Mason, and it still seems like it was yesterday. The pain isn't as unbearable as it was that first week. But I still miss him like crazy. I still see his picture sometimes, and my brain just can't comprehend that I won't be talking to him anymore. And that brings me to tears. It's getting better, but I know it's going to take time. I'm still trying to keep myself busy. I went back to rehab today, which was a little brutal since I hadn't exercised in a week. I didn't bother going while Lisa was in town last week. I have to pay for another 8 sessions very soon, but unfortunately just don't have the money this month to do it. So I went today, but I won't go Thursday. I'll do the same next week. And if I have to, I just won't go for another week. I can exercise at home, which is good. I just can't give up the rehab because I KNOW myself. I won't exercise at home regularly!! My hope chest is done, except for t...

The last night Lisa was here, the sistores went for coffee with Brandon, the baby, and Lisa's friend, Kat. Kat took a picture of the 4 of us, since it had been so long since we last took a sistore pic! So here we are, from left to right: Mandy, Lisa, me and Joanie. I love you, my sistores!!

A little Southern baby arrived with his mommy and daddy in Niagara Falls on the 4th of July for a week-long visit, and I can't believe how much he has grown since I met him in March/April! My nephew is just beautiful! He's so much more alert now, and has little smiles and tiny laughs, too. It's amazing how much babies change in just a few short months. Heck, even in a couple weeks! He is really growing well, and that makes me happy! Our family spent the 4th at Mandy's house for dinner, and it was a lot of fun! Lots of good food was had, stories to share. The best part was seeing how enthralled Mandy's kids were to meet their cousin for the first time! Every time the little guy made some sort of noise, my niece would say "What's the matter with the baby??" It cracked us up! My nephew would give his cousin kisses, which was really cute to see. It'll be neat to watch them all play together when the baby gets a couple years older. I wish we all lived r...

When I go through really tough times, I tend to rely heavily on music to help me get through the rough patches. This has been especially true since Mason's death. I've been listening (and crying) to music that reminds me of him, or happens to tell how much he meant to me. I've also been listening to music that he liked, songs he told me about, and songs I tried to get him to like. lol I was listening to my earphones late one night, unable to sleep, and the song "Who Knew?" by Pink came on. I listened to the lyrics, and they just really fit. Who knew that I'd only Mason for 3 short years? If someone could have told me that I wouldn't know him much longer, I'd never believe them. It feels like he has always been there. I think the biggest problem I'm trying to get over is the fact that I had been wanting to tell him for weeks how much he meant to me, and that I loved him as a best friend. I had told him that a long time before, but when he was in the...