Friday, December 28, 2007

Christmas Exhaustion

It's hard to believe that Christmas has come and gone already. I rested so much just to get to that day, and then it flew by! I woke up Christmas morning, had some breakfast, and opened some gifts from my friend, Karen. She was way too good to me! I loved the gifts she got, too! I hung out with Lisa and Brandon. We watched Ice Age: 2, and Brandon made bbq ribs for part of our Christmas dinner at Mandy's. I got dressed and ready to go over there, and felt a little tired, but ok.

We left for Mandy's around 3ish, and my family was all there! We all tried getting things finished for dinner, and then enjoyed a very good meal around the pretty table Mandy had set up for us! Everything was very yummy: red pepper and shrimp soup, cream of mushroom soup, brisket, chicken, ribs, sweet potatoes (although I didn't taste them, I'm not a fan! lol), roasted asparagus, parsley potatoes, croissants, and some carrots and celery sticks. Whooo, I'm full just thinking about it again! We ate dinner, chatted for a little bit, and then decided to open gifts!

Opening presents was fun! We started out taking turns passing each other's gifts out, and opening them and ooooohing and ahhhhhing, but somehow it turned out to get a little chaotic. lol I don't know how Brandon liked my gift to him, Mandy told me she liked the necklace I made her, but didn't say anything about the shirts I bought, and my niece just wanted to play with one gift and not open anything else. lol But it was alot of fun! We thanked each other for our gifts, and then focused our attention to desserts. Mmmmmmm.

We had key lime pie, a very yummy Dutch apple pie from Rick, and brownies and assorted goodies Mandy made. Again, I am full just thinking about it all. We just sat around and watched my niece nuke plastic food in her plastic microwave, and then bring it around to each of us to "eat." It was quite entertaining!

Eventually I left with my parents. It was after 9 when I got home, and I felt so beyond exhausted that I was sick to my stomach. I guess it all hit me at once after I left. I usually take my Tracleer at 10:30pm, and my Revatio at 11pm, but at around 10:10, I took them both and went to bed. I couldn't even stand to brush my teeth at that point! I ended up sleeping for 11 hours. Ever since then, though, I still haven't gotten my energy back. I get tired quite often, and I'm not doing much. I understand that it's going to take a long time for me to feel my "normal" self before pneumonia. But it's really getting on my nerves!! lol

And so, on that note, I am off to get ready for bed. I went out to dinner tonight with a friend, and I am still really full and just plain tuckered out! Grrrrr!!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Christmas Is Soooooo Close!

It's hard to believe that it's already Sunday! I haven't been crazy crazy busy, but I've still been pretty exhausted by the end of my days. Wednesday I got to see my godson, and it's just amazing how big he's getting. I can't believe he's almost 7! He was very tired when they were over here, and Eve said that when she brought him to her ex-mother-in-law's, he instantly fell asleep when he got in the car. But it was nice seeing him, and he loved his gift!

Thursday, Eve helped me bring Mittens to the vet. Poor kitty, he had hot spots again, and as much as I truly did NOT want to bring him to the vet, I couldn't let him lick himself to death!! So when it was about time to go, Eve got Mittens out of the cupboard where he'd been chillin' out, and stuffed him into the canvas cat carrier I have for him. He was not happy, and he kept rolling the carrier onto it's side. lol We got him to the vet, and while we were waiting to be called in, 3 cats came out of their hiding spots to investigate what was going on with the crying kitty in the bag! It was just too cute!! So we got into the examining room, and the guy asking me questions went to weigh Mittens. He gained a pound since I brought him in July, and I had cut back on his food!! The little porker weighs 21lbs now! I showed the guy the hot spots, and he noted them, and then told me that Mittens might have to get his vaccines updated. I really made it a point that I did NOT want Mittens vaccinated, considering he is strictly an indoor cat. He said I could talk about it when the doctor came in, which was a few minutes later. Dr. G. didn't even mention the vaccines, which was a relief! But he was just so nice and friendly. He gave me tips on how to try to prevent hot spots from getting worse if this should happen again (which I already have a feeling it will :( ). And he checked Mittens out, and said he looked good besides the spots, which weren't all that bad. He gave Mittens a cortizone shot in the butt, and that was it. We brought the poor kitty back home, and he was relieved!! And so was I!!

Friday, I basically relaxed for the day until I went out to dinner with Eve and Erin. We decided to try a place called Muscoreil's, since I had a $25 gift certificate for it. OH MY GOSH, that was the BEST place evah!! I still can't get over how good the food was there! It was a bit pricey, but everything we ate was worth every penny! But of course, the best part was the DESSERT! This place is known for their cakes for weddings, bridal showers, etc, and I've had their cakes before, so I expected dessert to be good. I never expected it to taste like heaven! lol I had a piece of mini-ganache cake, and it was just indescribable. We shared a half bottle of champagne, too, and that was tasty as well! It was a terrific evening spent with my two best friends, and we had a great time!

Saturday, I relaxed most of the day until my whole family went to dinner for my Dad's 60th birthday, which was last Sunday. We went to a local Italian restaurant called Fortuna's, and that was tasty as well. After dinner, we all went to my parents' house for some cake. It was a nice time, and I'm glad that we were able to celebrate my Dad's special day together!

I was soooooo exhausted when I got home Saturday night. I don't know how I stayed awake long enough to wait to take my meds at 11pm. I went to bed very shortly after that. I think, even though I'm pacing myself and the things I do, that my body just isn't ready to handle too much at once after having pneumonia. It really does kind of stink, and it's rather frustrating. I wish I could handle more, but, I know that I just have to cool it and not push myself. Today I did nothing but rest, I didn't even get out of pjs! I'm not sure what's going on tomorrow, since the weather is going to be bad and very windy like it was today. So I'll probably just stay in again.

Anyway, one more day til Christmas, and I can't wait to spend it with my family at Mandy's house. I'm looking forward to it! I'm hoping all my family and friends and phriends have a wonderful Christmas with their families and friends as well!!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Almost Ready!

I spent most of yesterday afternoon trying to finish wrapping the majority of my gifts for people. I only have a few more to do, but they are little things, so that's not too bad. I was so worried I'd run out of wrapping paper, but I haven't!! I just can't believe Christmas is 6 days away! I guess the time spent waiting for it this year went by quicker, since I've been sick and pretty much have been in the house for most of the past 2 1/2 weeks. I'm still not 100% yet, but of course that'll take time. I am much better than when I first started out with pneumonia! But yesterday, I did too much, and now today I'm rather tired. So I guess I'm just going to have to keep taking it easy!

One of my best friends, Eve, called me a little while ago. She's home! She is visiting her parents right now for a few hours, and then she's going to bring her son over here to see me. He's my godson, and it just seems like yesterday I was holding him as a crying little baby! And now he's almost 7 years old! He is almost the spitting image of Eve, it's amazing! So they will be over here soon, and then she will bring him to his Grandma's to stay. She will be staying with me until Sunday. She'll be in and out most of the time, but at least she won't have to be entertained! lol

My sister, Lisa, and her hubby, Brandon, are arriving here on Friday afternoonish. They are taking 2 days to drive up from Raleigh, which is good. Lisa keeps saying lately how traveling, as much as she loves to do it, is making her so tired!! Weeeeeell, she's not the young 20yr old she used to be! lol Not that she's old, but driving very long hours can be taxing! I'm just glad they are going to take their time coming. I can't wait to see them, too! They are also staying with me, so it'll be a bit crazy for a couple nights with both of them and Eve! But it'll be fun!

Well, I must make lunch and wrap a few more gifts. I'm needing a nap soon, I hope I can take a little one before Eve comes! I'm tired just thinking about the days before Christmas!! lol

Thursday, December 13, 2007

It's Official

I have pneumonia. My cat scan results came in today, although I had to call them this afternoon to see if they got them. My doctor said it's definitely pneumonia. Her nurse asked me how I was feeling, and I did say that while I am feeling better than I was even earlier this week, my left lower side still is uncomfortable. I asked her if that's where the cat scan showed pneumonia, and she was like Yeeeeeeep, it's definitely your lower left lung. So my doctor ordered a Zpac for me, and I immediately told my nurse I can't take that because it made me so sick and dizzy the one time I took it. So then she ordered Keflex, which sounds familiar, but I don't think I've been on it before. Someone is supposed to go get it for me later this afternoon. So I guess it's alot more resting for me for several days! But with the weather, that's fine with me. It finally stopped snowing here, and we have a few inches of the stuff, and nothing is really plowed. Not to mention, it's freezing!! So, I guess it's good that I'm stuck in the house!

My mom took me out for a couple hours yesterday afternoon. I'm soooo thankful that the weather was alot better than today, and that I had some energy to be out. I finally finished Christmas shopping! I'm still working on a couple things, but I've been able to finish that up online. But after a couple hours, I was definitely done for the afternoon. I was so tired, but it did feel so nice to be out for a little while!

Then last night, a friend I used to work with at Headstart called and asked if she could pick me up so she could take me for a little drive to see the lights around the local park near us. It wasn't that bad outside, so I went. We chatted and saw the lights, and then stopped at Tim Hortons to get a couple of yummy hot drinks before she brought me back home. She came inside for awhile, and we talked. She loves my apartment, and wishes she had one just like mine. She is married, and has a house, though. Hmmm. lol Anyway, it was nice seeing her since it's been awhile!

Well, time for me to lay down again for a bit. I hope this pneumonia goes away SOON and doesn't come back!!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Cat Scan Done...

...and now comes the waiting for results. I really hate that they won't have anything until Thursday. UGH. I need an answer like today! It's just frustrating. It's not my doctor's fault, it's the tech people who read the scans and do the report. I don't know why it will take that long, but there isn't much I can do about it. I will call my doctor tomorrow just to see anyway if they heard something. So far today, I did cough up blood around 7am, and am now just feeling tired since I couldn't go back to sleep after that. Today is not that cold outside, and I felt like going to a store after my scan!! lol We were soooooo close to one store I want to go to to get Mandy a gift, but Joan had to get back to work. Maybe if I'm feeling ok, I'll ask my mom later if she just wants to go. I just need a little outing! Nothing major, but I'm so cooped up, and today is at least decent enough for me to get outside. We'll see. Right now I need a little nap before hosting PH chat at 1pm!

Monday, December 10, 2007

Another Test

I called my PCP's office this morning around 10am, and asked for her nurse. They told me she was with the doctor, so I left a message saying that I still feel crappy, I'm still coughing up blood (not a ton, but come on, it shouldn't still be there), and that my chest felt heavy. I wanted to know if there is another medicine I should be on, or what. They said she would get back to me. Two hours later, of course I haven't heard anything. My mom, in the meantime, had called me and asked how I was, and I told her I was waiting for a call from the PCP. I also said that it's getting to the point where I don't know if I should just go to the ER up in Buffalo. So she told me to call the PCP back, even though it was their lunch hour, and I'd get the answering service. So I did, and the lady who answered was kinda snooty. I told her how I called 2 hours ago, and she said that everyone was on lunch at that point. I snootily told her back that I just wanted an answer to what to do about still having bronchitis and coughing up blood, and she said "YOU'RE COUGHING UP BLOOD?????" I just simply said yes, and she took my info and said she'd pass it on to the PCP's nurse. Not even a second after I hung up with the snooty woman, I got a call from my PCP's nurse. She told me that my doctor wanted me to have a CAT scan done, just in case I do have pneumonia and it wasn't showing up on the chest xray. She had to call me back to let me know what time it would be scheduled. I guess maybe if I have a crisis like that in the future, I should just call the answering service during lunch, and tell them there's blood involved. It's kind of ridiculous that I had to wait that long for some kind of answer!

I called my mom back to let her know about the CAT scan. While I was on the phone with my nurse, my mom had apparently called Buffalo General to find out what would happen and who I would see if I had to go to the ER. There is a PH doctor there, but she would only see me if I had to be admitted. If I was an outpatient, they would refer to the pulmonologist I started seeing in Buffalo just in case I had an emergency such as this. To know my mom had called up there to find this out was a bit overwhelming, and I started crying. I didn't really say anything, and when I did, I couldn't help but cry more. And of course, that got her crying, and she said something incomprehensible, and just hung up. I felt so bad, I didn't mean to make her cry. It's just that this has been so stressful and frustrating to deal with. And I seriously don't know what I would do without my mom being there for me.

I ended up calling Mandy for awhile, and talked to her about what's going on. She made me laugh, too, with stories of the kids. A little while after that, I got the call from my PCP's nurse. I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 10:30am for the CAT scan. I just have to get the script from the office first, which is on the way to the lab. This is a relief, at least I hope it will be. I just want to find out exactly what's going on, and I just want to be better!

And now I need to lay down for awhile, all this crying and anxiously waiting for calls has got me pooped out!!

Saturday, December 08, 2007

A Smidgen Better

This evening was a tiny bit better than the rest of the day. I got up to make dinner around 5:30, and just watched news and chatted on the phone for a little bit. I took a shower after the news hour was over. That was a bit tiresome. Drying my hair got me tired, too. I almost felt like chopping it off, but I knew that I would never live with myself if I did that. lol My mom called me to see how I was today, and I just told her it wasn't a good day. And that I'm trying to realize that I'm not going to be 100% myself for a while. I am going to call my doctor back again on Monday if I am still feeling this exhausted. I will finish the antibiotic on Thursday, but I would think that by now I'd have a little bit of oomph. Oh well, not much I can do about it. I'm off to bed now, and I'm hoping tomorrow will be better!!


Today hasn't been the best day so far. I woke up actually feeling like it was going to be a good day. The achiness I've had on my left side wasn't so achy, which I was so thankful for. It's still there a little bit, but not as intense as the past few days. So I was cautiously optimistic that I might have a decent day. So far, I couldn't have been more wrong.

I have managed to do a load of laundry, but I had to lay down for a bit after I put it in the dryer and finally got dressed. I fell asleep until about 1:30, and felt a little better. Until I got off the bed. It seems like every move I make gets me so exhausted. I got the laundry out of the dryer, but it's yet to be folded, and I don't really care at this point. I did eat something for lunch, and then decided to try washing my dishes so I could clean all the fish containers. It took me an hour to get through all that, which is usually normal for me. What isn't normal is that I feel ready to pass out again. I am so beyond exhausted, and so beyond frustrated. I would cry, but I know that would just zap more life out of me.

I'm really sick of this. I'm tired of taking meds for this dumb bronchitis. I'm tired of being excrutiatingly tired. I'm tired of PH. I'm just plain tired. So on that note, I'm going to lay back down again, which I'm also tired of doing. The only consolation with that is that my wonderful kitty is always there for me, under the blanket. He knows when I'm not feeling well. He at least gets a smile out of me because he'll scoot his butt up against my legs, almost like he wants me to know he's there. Anyway, I sure hope I have more energy when I get up again. Because I really feel like I'm on my last straw.

Just A Quick Note

I am about ready to go to bed, but I just wanted to give a little update. Well it's not too much. I felt really tired this morning, and a bit achy on my left side where the ribcage is. So I eventually layed back down for awhile with a heating pad. I got up around 2pm, and I was able to do a few things that I really needed to get done. Such as working on a gift for a friend, and cleaning up a little. Then after dinner and a little tv tonight, I worked on some more gifts. I feel somewhat accomplished! It gets so annoying when I am just too tired or not feeling well to do things. Hopefully I'm getting stronger, though!

Well, goodnight! :)

Thursday, December 06, 2007

I'm In Time Out

I had been pretty tired, ok exhausted, for at least the past week. More so than usual, and it's gotten annoying! Monday I had an already scheduled regular checkup with my PCP in the late afternoon. I got up Monday morning, and within about an hour and a half, I felt so drop dead tired that I had to go lay back down for awhile before I could even get dressed! I did feel a little better when I got up, so I did some stuff before going, got dressed, and was on my way.

I check in, finally get called in to see my PCP, and her nurse came in to ask the usual how-are-you-feeling routine. I told her that I've been very exhausted lately, and wasn't really feeling that well at that moment. She took my blood pressure, and went searching for a thermometer to make sure I didn't have a fever. As I was sitting there waiting, a cough came out of nowhere, and I ended up coughing up some blood. I know, not pretty!! When my PCP finally came in, I told her what happened. She immediately thought maybe I had pneumonia. Oooooh great, just what I needed. She heard crackles in my left lung, and said I was going for a chest xray right after I left. She also prescribed amoxicillin, at a stronger dose than what I usually take when I'm on it. I told her I've had no fevers, no runny nose, no cough, no swelling, no nothing! She told me she would let me know what the results were on the chest xray, and that she'd see me again in 4 months, unless there are any other issues going on.

So I left and got the xray done. I had no idea what time the place closed, so I raced there since it was almost 4pm, and sometimes they close at 4. Luckily, they weren't closed! I got that all done, and when I went back outside, the snow had started, and it wasn't all that pleasant trying to get home. I picked up my dad, whom I had called to ask if he'd run into the pharmacy for me, and the drive there was horrendous. I ended up at one point, sliding into a car. No severe damage done to either car, and the car's owner was so very nice because we were honest about it. One the way home from the pharmacy, we took a different route, and it was like driving on an ice skating rink! And no one seemed to know how to drive on it. The car in front of me ended up in the other lane, and the car behind me would have smashed right into me if he didn't turn and end up going up the sidewalk and almost into a storefront. It was THAT bad out! And let me not even start on the jackasses in vans who decided to swerve around me and turn left while I was waiting to turn left. UGH, it still makes me mad!!

Anyway, I FINALLY get home on one piece, and I just take it easy the rest of the night.

Tuesday, I had to get bloodwork done, and my mom took me there. She then took me to the credit union to deposit checks I got from my jewelry party on Saturday (ca-ching!), and then she stopped at a local restaurant to get me some yummy soup and pizza bread! When she was dropping me off, she shut off the ignition, and I joked "What are you going to do, come in and vacuum for me?" She said she actually thought about it. lol She ended up doing that and a few more things for me. I can't tell you how much I truly appreciate my mom. I don't know what I'd do without her.

I finally heard from my PCP's nurse yesterday that my bloodwork was fine and dandy, and that I do NOT have pneumonia. Thank goodness!! However, I am still coughing up a little blood once in awhile, and she said for me to call on Friday morning to let them know if it's still happening. I think it's actually getting a tad bit better. Knock on wood. I've only done it once today, and it wasn't that much. Who knows what it could be. Maybe my left lung just decided to be ornary, I don't know!

And yes, for those wondering, I have been in contact with my PH specialist's nurse practitioner. I've called her a couple times so far, and she is passing the word onto my doctor. I told her if anything was more serious, I would go to the hospital in Buffalo, since they have a PH specialist there. Hopefully I won't have to do that!

I've been getting lots of rest, that's for sure. It's hard not trying to go out since I pretty much feel ok, but I have vowed not to leave my house for the rest of the week! I still have a few more Christmas gifts to get, and I need my monthly supplies from Walmart. However, I'm just going to have to suck it up and hang on til at least Sunday to see if I can venture out again. I just really want to make sure the blood stuff stops. No sense in me catching pneumonia for real!!

Time for some yummy soup!!

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Christmas Decorations

I thought I would try something new and different! I was playing around with my camera today, and I did a little video of all the things I put up for Christmas. I thought it would be more fun doing it that way than describing every last little thing. Which I could go on and on about. So I hope this works out! Maybe I'll do more of these video-blog entries! Sorry if it seems a little dark. I have no idea how to adjust the lighting for the camera. I had all the lamps on in my living room, and it still seemed dark. I tried!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

Today was a nice Thanksgiving, spent with my family. It seemed to be very low-key, which was just fine with me. I spent all afternoon yesterday making my strawberry banana bread, and my pecan pie, so I just relaxed this morning for awhile before getting dressed and going to my parents' house. I got over there a little after 1pm, and helped make some of the items we were eating for dinner. My mom bought a turkey breast since it was only my parents, Joanie and I eating dinner. We also had mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing (not homemade this year), green bean casserole, corn, and cranberry sauce. It was very yummy! I felt like I overate, even though I really didn't take too much. We cleaned up, and watched some tv and then Mandy called us to say they were home and we could come over for dessert.

Mandy's was nice, too. We had pecan pie, pumpkin pie, cheesecake pie, and lemon meringue pie. It was quite tasty! My niece kept making requests for Shake Your Booty, which I have on my cellphone. She is too funny with that! So when I play the song, she headbangs instead of shakes her booty. lol Then we went down in the basements, so my parents could see the Wii system and the HD channels. We played Wii for awhile, and my parents even played! I wish I had taken a picture! I will when Christmas comes along. But anyway, it was a nice day, and now I am tired!! I am not shopping tomorrow, I'm going to try putting up some decorations. I have no desire whatsoever to fight with people in the stores, to deal with the insane traffic, and to be out in the freezing cold temps here! So good luck to all the crazy people trying to go out to the stores tomorrow! I just hope everyone will be safe on the roads and in the stores!!

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving! :)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Not Too Shabby Of A Day

I woke up tired, as usual, but I was determined to actually do a few things out and about before I had to host chat this afternoon. I finally got myself dressed and ready to go around noonish. First stop was the credit union. I chatted with Joanie for a few minutes. We compared arm soreness that we both were still experiencing from playing Wii games on Sunday! After I left, I mailed a few things at the post office, and then went to a Dollar General closer to my house. It was so incredibly nice out! We had an odd warm day, and the sun was out, and it just felt good. I got home, and hosted chat for about an hour. Seemed like people were busy today, but it is the holiday season, so it's understandable!

After that, I noticed my sister, Joan, in front of my house with a rake. Then my dad showed up with a rake and a lawnmower. I thought to myself "Well this should be entertaining!" So I went out there with my coat on, and decided to hang out and get more fresh air! It still wasn't too bad out, but the sun had decided to hide behind clouds, so it was a tad bit nippier. It was fun being out there, just chatting and laughing with Joanie and my dad. I went back in after the mailman came, got myself a sandwich, and then came back out again. I eventually went in because I started to freeze!

A little while later, Joanie, my mom and I were holding on to a piece of cording tied to my white birch stick (well tree trunk, but my dad had cut down almost all the branches last year because the tree had died, so I called it a stick) out in my front yard. We were pulling away from the electric power lines connected from my house to the street. As we were pulling, my dad was sawing near the base of the stick. He finally came over at one point and yanked on it too, and all of a suddent it came crashing down in our direction. Of course, it was supposed to do this, since we were all pulling it our way, but we all had to move quickly to make sure it didn't hit us! It came soooooo close to hitting my Joanie, though!! I'm so happy it didn't, that would NOT have been pretty! So anyway, now I am left with a white birch stump. I'm not sure how the rest of it will be taken out of the ground, but at least it's not a sorry looking stick on the lawn. I am sad that the tree died, though. The white birch reminds me of my grandpa. He used to have one in his front yard where he lived, and he is now buried near one in the cemetary. But for now, I can just remember him every time I see the stump!

The rest of my afternoon was relaxing. I finished washing my dishes, and then eventually went to lay down. I read for awhile and fell asleep. I got up to make dinner, and didn't really feel like eating anything. I finally made eggos and cottage cheese and pears. I watched my evening news and Jeopardy! Then I took a bath!

I love baths, I think it's the one thing I miss not doing during the summer. I take so many in the fall/winter. I find them so relaxing, and often feel like I'm in my own little world. I either contemplate things that have been going on, or just read a good book with the candlelight. I think the number one reason I usually take a bath, though, is because I'm so cold!! Despite wearing layers and long underwear, and double pairs of sock and even slippers, AND having a blanket on while watching tv, I still can be so cold sometimes, that the only thing warming me up is a nice hot bath! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

So that's been my day! I'm glad it wasn't too bad. Tomorrow I need to make strawberry-banana bread, and a pie crust for my pecan pie for Thursday. So I'm not really planning on going anywhere!! Yay!!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Trying Not To Get Sick!!

I have felt so exhausted lately. Friday, I tried exercising, and felt so tired after that I had to rest. I didn't even walk 1o minutes. I tried exercising on Saturday, too, but felt the same way. Sunday I kind of felt odd, but didn't do anything about it. Sunday night, I felt so worn out and felt like a cold was coming at any moment. I piled on the extra vitamin C, acidophilus, and Tylenol. I had some tea, too, since I was rather cold despite all my layers. I also ate some honey and lemon. I went to bed with 3 pillows, just so if I did get sick, nothing would go into my lungs. This morning I woke up feeling ok, still wondering if I was going to get something. But I kept up with the same routine as last night, and as of now, I have no cold. I'll got some rest this afternoon, and I think that helped, too. But I'll keep it up! I just don't want to get sick. I haven't had a head cold in a little over 2 years. Which is BEYOND unbelievable because I grew up having at least 2 colds a year. The last time I had a head cold, I was so miserable that I remember just crying at my kitchen table. So I'm really really hoping I won't get anything!!

Yesterday afternoon, I went over to my sister, Mandy's house, with my sister Joan. We were going to play on the Wii that they got for their Christmas present. It was sooo much fun!! I wasn't sure exactly how it all worked, but you use this remote device that you hook around your wrist (so you don't accidentally wing it at the tv, I guess that's been known to happen alot!!). We played sports games, like bowling, tennis, golf and baseball. I sooooo did not try the boxing. That would really have worn me out. lol But all the other games were really fun! My arm is incredibly sore from playing it. I think I need to pump more iron so I won't end up sore again the next time I play. lol We can't wait until Christmas when my sister, Lisa, comes home with her husband. We will be having dinner at Mandy's house, and then I think we'll have Wii competitions!! I'm so excited about it!

Well I am off to bed. I want to relax again tomorrow, maybe do my dishes, finally. And make a banana-strawberry bread. I could make the pie crust for my pecan pie, too. Of course, I have these plans, and I might end up doing something totally different. lol I guess I'll just see how I feel in the morning!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Just a Quick Update Before I Nap!

I saw my gyn today. Well, really the nurse practitioner (who I just love!). She changed the pill I've been on, and it will hopefully help me with future issues I've been having. I sure hope so! I've been miserable on the pill I've been on, so I'm looking for a definite change! I also have to get bloodwork done tomorrow, to see if I'm anemic after all this. Hopefully that'll come out fine. I'm now off to take a nap, because I came home a little while ago. I went to Mandy's house on the way home, and stayed for a couple hours. It was nice! The kids are toooooo cute!! I'm beat, though, and just relieved that I don't have kids because they certainly can poop you out!!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Tired Of Being Tired!

I just haven't felt peppy lately, and it's driving me nuts. I was too tired earlier today, and I hadn't done anything! While in PH chat, though, I wasn't the only one who was dragging, so I guess that's good. I layed down for a nap around 3:30, and slept for an hour. It did help some, but I'm going to bed in a bit. I'm trying my best to do things around the house during the day, but I just get so tired, that I end up just taking a nap for a little while. I'm hoping this changes soon!

My weekend was alright. I went to Mandy's with Joan, and played with my niece for awhile. I was tired when I got home, but didn't really nap. I just relaxed and watched a movie in the evening, and enjoyed my nice used couch!! It's sooo comfy! Sunday, I went to church, and had my parents over for lunch. I made homemade chicken and barley soup on Saturday night, so I had plenty to share! I worked on a necklace later on, and then had to lay down. It's a never-ending story!!

I think tomorrow I'm calling my gyn. I'm having major issues, and I don't know what's going on. I'm thinking this is part of the reason I'm sooo exhausted. It's higly irritating, I tell you that much!!

Well, the bed is calling me! I'm off to la-la land!!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Do You Know What November Is?

*I have sent the following to friends and family for PH Awareness Month! I wanted to post it here, too!*

Do you know what November is? The month of Thanksgiving. Yes, but..................

The month of Veterans Day. Yes, but...................................

Did you know that November is Pulmonary Hypertension Awareness Month?

Do you know what Pulmonary Hypertension is?

Pulmonary Hypertension is a disease where the blood vessels in your lungs constrict and make it harder for your heart to pump blood into your lungs to get oxygen. This causes the right side of the heart to enlarge and overwork.

Do you know the warning signs of PH? Shortness of breath, chest pain, extreme fatigue, being light-headed, fainting.

Did you know that PH is hard to diagnose? Many of the symptoms of PH can mimic other ailments and diseases.

Did you know there are many reasons for one to have PH? Some people may never find out why they have this disease. Others have it because of a congenital heart condition, or an auto-immune disease. Some have it because they took a diet pill called Phen-phen. You could have 10 PH patients in one room, and each of their causes for having PH could be totally different!

Did you know that PH does not discriminate? Anyone can get PH. Children are born with it. Women in their child-bearing years are more susceptible to developing it. Older people can get it. People of every race can get it. PH has no boundaries.

Most of you know my personal PH story. I was born with PH and congenital heart disease (2 holes in my heart). They were both discovered when I was 9 months old. I have been living with PH for 32 years now. I'm on 2 PH meds right now, oxygen 24/7, a variety of other meds for other issues, and I'm holding my own at the moment. It hasn't been easy, but I've always done the best I could living with PH. I am very active on the Pulmonary Hypertension Awareness website ( I host a Tuesday afternoon chat for fellow PHers, and I answer posts on the message boards. I am also a support group leader for PH in the Buffalo/Niagara Falls area. It's been a wonderful experience to meet real live people who have been dealing with PH, and who can totally understand what I've been through all my life.

PH is a devastating disease, but there are so many more options available for a newly diagnosed PH patient today than there was when I was born. There are several drug options to choose from, one newly approved this past summer. Combination therapies have been very successful for many PHers. There are some new drugs in trial stages, and will hopefully be approved within the next couple years as another treatment option. And there is always research being done!

My goal with this email is to spread awareness! Since November is PH Awareness month, what better way to do it than email all my friends and family? All I ask is for you to pass this email on to people you know. You won't get bad luck if you don't. However, if more people know the warning signs and more doctors learn more about the disease and more money is spent on research, perhaps more people will be diagnosed early!

What can you do? Pass this on to everybody in your email list. Go to to learn more. And go to the doctor if you have any of the warning signs.

And for those of you who are interested in doing a bit more for PH, I have had a fundraiser going on since May. My personal goal is raising $1000 for the PH Association, that will go towards research and development of new drugs and hopefully a cure one day! The money will also help the continuing task of making people in society aware of PH. I have already raised $845, so I'm very close to reaching my goal! To those of you who have already donated, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!! It means a great deal to me that you have supported this cause. If you have not donated, and wish to do so, please click on the link (or copy and paste) at the end of this email after my name. And if you do donate, no matter how much it is, please know that I truly appreciate your contribution! I hope that one day, the cure for PH will be found, and no one else will have to go through what I've been going through all my life!

Thank you for recognizing November as Pulmonary Hypertension Awareness Month! Now keep this email going all month!!

Colleen :)
Please visit my websites!
For jewelry:
To donate to my PH fundraiser!

Monday, November 05, 2007

Rainbows and Final Jeopardy!

Sometimes the most unexpected things can make a person so wonderfully happy. I had two instances today in which I experienced unexpected events, and it has just made me smile for most of the day and evening!

The first occurred during my outing to several stores. The weather in Niagara Falls today was mostly wet, raining on and off. When I left one of the stores I had gone to, the sun was peeking out in one section of all the dark gray clouds. I turned into the parking lot to head to another store, when I looked out the window to my left. I had to hit the brakes. There in the sky was a huge arching rainbow. It was just such a wonderful feeling to see it, since it's been I don't know how long since I had seen one last. I find rainbows so magical and mystifying, even though there is science and logic to their existence. I took a couple pictures with my camera phone. Even though I'm sure someone who would see the pictures would say why did you take a picture of an empty storefront?, I can see that rainbow. And I'll remember how happy it made me feel seeing it today.

The second unexpected experience today may seem a little silly to some, but it still has me smiling! I love Jeopardy! I don't know what got me into watching Jeopardy! so much over the summer, but I watch it almost every night. I calculate my score to see how much I'm "winning," and I make wagers for the final question. Tonight's Final Jeopardy! category was "In the Southern Hemisphere". Thinking, OK I'm gonna lose, I wagered a measly $600, and waited for commercials to end. I must backtrack for a second first. For the next 2 weeks, the Jeopardy! contestants are former champions, and this is a Tournament of Champions. I have seen most of these players, and they are very good! They won a lot of money. That being said, the commercials were over, and the final answer was revealed. I cannot remember the exact wording, but it had to do with the bear constellation, and what the Greek term was for it. The only thing I could come up with, considering the category had to do with the Southern Hemisphere, was Antarctica. The lovely little Jeopardy! ditty finished playing, and Alex went to each of the contestants to find out their answers. None of them got it right. Two of them didn't even write down an answer! They were stumped! So I'm thinking, gee whiz, I'm sure I got it wrong. So Alex says, "The answer is Antarctica." I dropped my jaw, and was like what????? I got it right, and those champions got it wrong?? It just made me so happy! I don't usually get the last question right, either, so I'm pretty proud of myself! Now I only wish I had bet all my money! LOL

So anyway, two unexpected occurrances today made me feel pretty happy and upbeat. It's the little things like that that make me feel like someone is always watching. :)

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Silly Tiger!

I don't usually post pictures of my niece and nephew. But I wanted to post this pic of my niece, because you can't see her face. I just think it's so funny, a tiger on a Sit-n-Spin!

My last post has highly irritated me, by the way. Blogger, for some reason, stopped letting me do paragraphs. So near the middle to the end, it looked like I wrote one huge paragraph. I tried fixing it 6 times, but to no avail. Please, I am an English major, I know about paragraphs. So I'm sorry if it seems all jumbled, but it's not my fault!!

Saturday Clean-Up

It's been an up and down week. I started out fairly good, able to walk on the treadmill several times earlier in the week. That's always a plus! Sometimes I do ok, sometimes I just have to stop. I'm definitely not walking like I did after I started Tracleer. Back then I could walk up to 2 miles at a time. Now I'm lucky if I get to half a mile. It's very disappointing, but I guess just trying to keep walking is what counts.

Halloween was a busy day, and I wasn't home very much. I went down to my parents' for lunch, and Mandy and Ron brought the kids over. OH MY GOSH, they were adorable! My niece was a tiger, and she got her ROAR down pat! My nephew was a giraffe, and it was just funny seeing the giraffe strapped in a car seat. lol

After lunch, when the tired and cranky giraffe and tiger had had it, Mandy and Ron left, and I went back home to do a few things and rest. I was going back down to my parents' to pass out candy, and then leaving afterward to go to my friend, Dee's, house for pizza and snacks. I made haystacks, which are yummy, and brought them to my parents' and Dee's. Trick-or-treating was very slow at first, but around 4:30, suddenly kids were all over the place! My mom had gotten about 6 bags of candy, and I had 2, but a little after 6pm, we ran out. I had to have seen at least 100 kids between 4:30 and 6pm. It was crazy! It was fun, though, alot of cute costumes were worn! Quite a few parents had dressed up this year, too, and they seemed to be having fun.

I left for Dee's after driving my mom to Dairy Queen and back home. I was pretty tired by then, but I stayed at Dee's until about 9ish. I'm so glad I didn't stay later. Honestly, I don't know how I drove home. I was beyond exhausted. And very achy. My lower back and legs were killing me! I get like that every once in a while, and I hate taking anything for it, but I usually end up doing so. When I got home, I took a nice bath, and that did help the pain. It also made me sleepier. lol I struggled to stay awake until 11pm, when I had to take my last dose of Revatio, and then I went to bed. I woke up around 3am, though, barely able to move. I was just in so much pain, I finally took a Tylenol Arthritis. It did help me after awhile, but when I got up the next morning, I was just completely out of it.
So Thursday wasn't too much fun in the beginning. I felt like I never slept, I felt like a zombie. I tried getting a few things done, but I finally had to make myself lay down and try sleeping again for a bit. I got up feeling a little better. I was having my couch and loveseat taken out that afternoon, and the guys from the Community Missions came, as well as my mom. After the furniture was gone (I really hope someone who needs it can enjoy it as much as I did!), my mom stayed and helped me so much. She vacuumed, she swiffered, and put some laundry in for me. I don't know what I'd do without her sometimes. She even stayed for awhile when little Nick was dropped off for me to watch for an hour. He's such a cutie! Anyway, Thursday ended on a better note than it began. I was thankful for that.
Friday I went out shopping, hoping to get some toy ideas for my godson. I think he loves Legos, and pirates, so there's got to be some combination of the two. lol I had lunch with my mom, and after getting a birthday card, I dropped my mom off and had a nice nap back at home! It was a relaxing evening.
So far today, I've been slow moving, but getting things done that I needed to. Such as, washing my dishes (I think I used every spoon I had!), and cleaning all the fishies. Now with that done, I'm ready for a nap! I think Mittens is, too. He keeps staring at me. lol Anyway, I think I'll go do that, and then make jewelry later on.
Oh yes, and if you're wondering, I got rid of my couch and loveseat because Mandy and Ron bought new furniture for their living room. I'm getting the white couch, which will be perfect for my living room! When I'll get it is a goooood question! With my dad not allowed to lift anything heavy for a couple weeks, and Ron with an injured back, I might have to deal with an empty-looking living room for a bit. Thank goodness I kept my papasan chair!

Monday, October 29, 2007


I usually don't mind cooking. Sometimes I put no effort into it, because I just don't feel like it. But there are times I really do surprise myself. I woke up from a nap this afternoon wondering what to have for dinner. I decided to have leftovers from the other night: marinated chicken, brown rice, and peas. Then I thought, I really need to make the yellow squash and zucchini I have, so I decided to sautee them in olive oil, and add the peas and rice to it, and mix it up. Then I thought, why not cut the chicken up into small pieces and throw it in there? So I did! Lastly, I realized I had a can of Italian flavor canned tomatoes, and I thought, hey I'll throw that in! My goodness, it was such a yummy meal! I only had a small serving of it, and I'm still stuffed. I have to say I'm quite proud of myself. And of course, it made so much that I can have it again for lunch and dinner for 2 days probably. I didn't even use a recipe!

I can't say the same for my split pea soup I made from scratch yesterday. It looked good, smelled good, but when I had some for dinner, I just wasn't feeling it. I was so disappointed. I tried some again for lunch, and actually ate the whole bowl. I think it was mainly because I was so hungry. I just don't want to have to throw it all out because I won't eat anymore. I think that was my last pot of homemade split pea soup forever! I'll just eat my mom's whenever she makes it! :)

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Blah Saturday

I can't believe it's Saturday already. Where did this week go? It seemed to start out sooooo slow at first. Monday was such a long day. Twelve hours at a hospital is just not fun, not to mention it was a gorgeous day that I missed, too! Tuesday, I was back there again with my mom. But the good thing was, we brought my dad home. :) He's doing pretty good, just in a little pain and discomfort with the catheter. This coming Thursday can't some soon enough for him. He gets it out then, and I'm sure he's counting down the hours!!

Wednesday I went to my sister's house, and played with my niece. I hadn't seen them in awhile. The kids are just so cute. And spending time with Mandy is always fun. I am proud of her. I never thought she'd be the first to be a mommy out of the 4 of us, but she's done such a great job so far. She loves those kids more than anything, and I admire her for her strength.

Thursday was chore day. I didn't do too badly. I washed 2 loads of laundry, folded them and put them away. I washed my dishes. I also took out my winter wardrobe, and put away my summer stuff. Finally! And just in time, too. There's no way I'm wearing anything summery again for awhile. I'm sad about this! Anyway, I paced myself all day doing stuff. So I didn't get myself utterly exhausted. I hate that I have to do that, but I'd hate myself more if I didn't!

Friday, I felt so weird. I don't even know how to explain it. Not enough energy to get through the day, but somehow I did it because I had to. I went out to a few places, credit union, post office, pharmacy. Then I stopped by my parents' house to see my dad. The reverend from his old church was visiting. I called first to see if my dad was sleeping, and my mom answered, saying Rick James was visiting. I was like, "Isn't Rick James dead??" LOL Anywho, he was a nice man to meet. After he left, I stayed for a little bit, but then went home.

Today was just blah. I never even got out of pjs. I spent most of the morning online talking to people, reading stuff, playing games with my sister. The weather today was a bit warm early, but then eventually got chilly. I can't techically say I know this, because I didn't actually go outside. But the wind was pretty bad, and it was wet on and off. Hardly any peaks of sun. Maybe for like a minute. The only thing I finally did was change my bedding, which is not fun for me. I just cranked up the oxygen, and took my time. At least it got done, and now I will feel snuggly in clean sheets tonight!

That's about as much excitement as I can tell about right now. I'm off to take a shower!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Update On My Dad

This is going to be brief, since I'm exhausted from being at the hospital for 12 hours. My dad's surgery went well! There was a slight complication in the beginning, that his doctor almost didn't think he'd be able to continue. But, his doctor persisted, and overcame the obstacle, and the rest of the surgery went smoothly! It took almost 5 hours, and around 9pm we got to see him. He was still rather groggy, so we didn't stay too long with him. But I am so relieved that everything went well. We will go back tomorrow morning, most likely, and my dad can come home around 2pm. So right now, I'm off to bed!! Thanks for the prayers out there, I know they have helped my dad through this surgery!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

What An October

This October flew by, and although there are still several days left, I'm rather relieved. I don't usually like when the months fly by, but this month was just so busy for me. Between going back to Cleveland in the beginning on the month, to three weekends in a row with major plans, I'm wiped! This weekend was my support group meeting, and it went really well. I had two UB students come talk about diet and nutrition. I had given them the PHA's website so they could learn more about pulmonary hypertension, and I was very impressed with how much of their talk incorporated appropriate ideas for PHers. I learned quite a bit, and the PHers who came to the meeting were great and asked alot of questions. It definitely went well!

Tomorrow, my dad is going to Roswell Park Cancer Institute for surgery. He discovered a couple years ago that he has prostate cancer. The doctors took a wait-and-see approach in treating it, and while the cancer is still not at a high risk point, the doctors saw something in his testing over the summer that prompted my dad to make a decision about having surgery. I know my dad doesn't want to do the surgery at all. He said he'd rather just live with the cancer. He's more worried about the possible side effects from surgery than dying from cancer. That's been a very hard pill for me to swallow, even though I know that is his decision. However, I'm very relieved that he is having the surgery tomorrow. So I've been praying for him for a couple months, that everything will go well, and his recovery will be quick, too!

Not too much else to report, really. I think I can finally concentrate more on making jewelry, and some gifts for people who asked me to make things. I want to have a jewelry party or two, so I need to start thinking of where and when. I need some cash, plus I just like people to see what I've made! lol

Well, I'm off to bed soon. I'm very glad that my dad doesn't have to be at the hospital until 10:30am. I think I'd have to find a hospital bed if he had to be there at like 6:30am. lol

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The Ideal Day

Once again, it's that time of month for dear Judi's Artsy Essay Contest! Please see the rules and regulations for this month here. I entered a couple month's ago when Judi decided to revive this wonderful contest, and decided I'd like to give it a shot this month! Here goes!

My Ideal Day

My ideal day would start out at 7am to get ready for work, instead of getting up to take a pill.

My ideal day would be going to work as a teacher, instead of wondering if I'd feel well enough to do anything for that day.

My ideal day would be working out at a gym, instead of hoping to have enough energy to just walk for 6 minutes on the treadmill at home.

My ideal day would be to freely walk about around my home and in public, instead of being tethered to a plastic tube going into my nose, providing oxygen to keep me going.

My ideal day would be remembering meeting times with friends or family, instead of keeping track of the 8 different times I need to take a pill or vitamin in a day.

My ideal day would be to go for a walk down the street with energy, instead of feeling so short of breath that I have to stop walking for a few minutes.

My ideal day would be to hope in the car and go for a drive, or a long trip, instead of worrying about what to do for oxygen needs and if I had enough medicine to do so.

My ideal day would be to keep going from one thing to another, instead of needing a nap in the afternoon just so I can finish the rest of my day.

My ideal day would be to be a normal person, with no health concerns, instead of being a pulmonary hypertension patient wishing that every day would be one that I can make it through.


Saturday, October 13, 2007

Busy Day!

Today is the wedding I've been planning on going to for like months! My sister, Lisa's, best friend is getting married. Kat has had her wedding planned out for months, and she's been looking forward to it. Lisa flew into town on Thursday, and her husband got here yesterday. Lisa's been pretty busy since Thursday! We haven't seen much of her, but that's to be expected. The wedding is at 2pm, and the reception is at 5pm. So I'm just trying to get as much rest as I can so I can make it all day. The weather is so much cooler than it should be this time of year. Which is kind of funny, because just last weekend it was so much warmer than it is for this time of year. I wish the weekends could have been switched around! Anyway, that's my Saturday. Started off with a flu shot at 9am, so I am hoping I won't be in pain later on. That might not be fun!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


I don't know where the energy came from today, but I have accomplished quite a bit. Even despite feeling a little blah. My sister and her husband are coming into town this weekend for a wedding that my whole family has been invited to. Lisa is in the wedding, since it's her best friend from high school getting married. So, I needed to clean up around here before they were coming! Well, I needed to clean period, but they were just motivation!

So from about 11am-2:30pm, I did the following:
-cleaned the bathroom
-vacuumed: thank goodness for the removal of carpets this summer from my place, because vacuuming takes far less time and effort to do now!
-hung up a couple pictures, and hit my thumb with the hammer AGAIN
-cleaned the glass table and mirrors
-hung up Halloween decorations, including those fake spider webs, which now makes it look like I've never cleaned! haha!

So, I guess maybe the Revatio is kicking in?? I don't know! I think what helped me along was the fact that I was listening to music the entire time. Music always gets me motivated! However, by the time 4pm rolled around, and I had finally had lunch and sat a bit, I was pretty tired. I tried taking a nap, but that was kinda unsuccessful. There is still alot more I'd like to accomplish, but I am not going to press my luck by doing any more today!

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Flea Market Blues

I got all ready for a huge flea market that I signed up for today this week. I was so excited! I was hoping to sell at least one or two of my jewelry items or tealight lamps. My mom came over and got me around 8:30am. We packed the van with stuff (she had also some miscellaneous items she wanted to get rid of), and headed to the place where the flea market was supposed to be. It was nice and sunny, and I was prepared to have a nice afternoon!

We got to the place, and there were a ton of people setting up their tables. I found my table after trekking all over looking for it, and I started setting up my items. My mom made several trips to the van to bring all of her stuff, and eventually we got things situated. People started coming, and it was nice!

About 45 minutes later, ominous clouds started hovering above us. I thought, geesh, it isn't supposed to rain today. I saw the weather report at least 4 times for Saturday, and there was no rain involved. So I thought we should be alright. NOT! About 15 minutes later, it started drizzling. I saved the tealight lamp shades right away, since they are made of paper. We covered my jewelry with plastic bags, and waited to see how bad it might get. After a bit, it let up. For 5 minutes. My mom went to get us food, and it started really raining again. We eventually just packed everything up and left. I was so soaked by the time my mom dropped me off, that I had a hard time getting my jeans off to change. lol My fingers were wrinkled like prunes!! I don't know if there are people still there, although I'm sure there are. Some people left like we did, but quite a few were staying. I can't blame them for trying, but I just didn't want to take a chance of catching a cold or something!

Of course, now as I'm writing this, the rain has stopped and I see some sun peeking through. *SIGH*

A funny aside, however. I got hit on while there. lol There was a black guy at the table across from mine, he was nice and cute, too. when I was almost ready to leave, he said "well if you're not coming back tomorrow, how will I get your number?" and I said "what do you need that for?" and he said "cuz you're beautiful." *BLUSH* Then he said "your man is so lucky" and I said "yes, he is!" LOL I technically don't have a man, but I wasn't about to tell him otherwise! I just wasn't interested because, well, I happen to like someone else. :) :)

Alright, now that I'm completely tired from being up so early, and then being soaked, I must go take a nap!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Cleveland Results

I got back from Cleveland last night around 7:30pm EST. It was a long day, with some interesting results. Not exactly terrible news, but not news I was expecting to really hear either.

First of all, I had an echo. Now I've never had an echo done by a man before. I was a little concerned about it, but the guy was very nice! His name was George, and he was from Romania. George was quite entertained by my last name, which means "hurry up" in German. So he did the echo, and he was very good at it. I've had some techs who I've wanted to slap because they were pressing so hard, it hurt like crazy. He told me if he was pressing too hard, to let him know. But he wasn't! I hope that George is around the next time I need to have an echo done!

My bloodwork was next, and that went just fine. I didn't have to wait in the long line I saw when I passed by on my way to get the echo done. There were like 25 people in line then, it was nuts!!

After having some soup for lunch, I had my 6 minute walk. I had a feeling I wasn't going to do well, and that feeling was justified afterward. I went down yet again, only walking 1065ft. That was down about 200ft from the last time, and the time before that, I had also gone down about 250ft. My doctor doesn't really like this trend of mine. I don't really like it either!! I was hoping that he was just going to tell me to go up on Revatio (which he eventually did), but he started looking at all the times I've been to the clinic to figure out what to do with me. He is concerned that my lungs are eventually going to need to be replaced, considering especially that I've had PH for 32 years. That is a LONG time for lungs to be diseased and still viable. But he is not saying that I need a transplant right now. There are still some options, but of course, he doesn't want me to be so sick eventually that I wouldn't make it through a transplant.

There are several other treatment options, some of them my doctor isn't too thrilled about. He isn't sure he wants to try Ventavis with me, which is an inhaled drug. He is worried about my congenital heart problem with Ventavis. He's not thrilled about the new drug, Letairis. He says it's causing alot of stomach problems with patients on it. He's not thrilled with Flolan either, the gold standard in treating PH, but he wouldn't not offer it to me if it came down to that. He knows there are risks with Flolan, especially line infections, which wouldn't bode well for my heart if I had one.

Another issue I'm having is that my blood is so thick, from the lack of oxygen in my system from all the years I've had PH, even despite being on oxygen 24/7 and coumadin for a long time. My hemoglobin count is getting to the point where I will probably need a "blood letting." I can't remember the technical term for it, but basically what they would do is take out, say, a pint of my blood, and put back in a pint of saline. That would thin my blood out a little. Right now my hemoglobin count is 19, and my doctor said he'd probably advise me to have this procedure when I hit 21 or 22.

I also told him about the palpitations I had over the weekend. He said that the pediatric cardiologist I've been seeing at the Clinic wrote a few years ago that if I start having more palpitations, my heart could start having arrythmias. That is not something I want to happen, because it would mean my heart is getting weaker, and then I might need to transplant that as well. I just want my heart to be fixed!! Because other than the holes in my heart, it's been pretty strong.

I think the most disheartening finding out everything I found out yesterday was the fact that I gained 5lbs since August!! I don't know how that happened. I was quite shocked by it. I asked if Revatio could make you gain weight, but my doctor said he didn't think so. I also know that the weight isn't water weight. That, at least, is a good sign, because it was water weight, it would mean my heart isn't operating correctly. Soooooo, I need to get back on that darn treadmill and start walking more!! Even if it's only 6 minutes at a time! I know I sound like a broken record, but the shock of that weight gain in such a short time really makes me realize that I need to exercise again. Gaining weight like that is really not good for my health situation, it strains everything. Not what I need!!

So, I'm going to hope that the Revatio will put a little kick into my step soon. Maybe the next time I go to Cleveland, I will do better on my walk. I'm really hoping that is the case. But in the meantime, I need to really start coming to terms with the fact that I'll need a transplant at some point. My doctor thinks that I would do really well with one whenever the time comes. I like to think I would, too. I do hope it can be put off for awhile longer! But we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Going To Cleveland

I'm leaving for Cleveland in a couple hours. I have appts tomorrow with my PH doctor, including an echo and 6 minute walk (blah! lol). I'm still feeling short of breath, although it's starting to calm down a bit. I've been tired the past week, but I've also been doing alot, too. I've got so much on my mind for October, that I'm starting to stress. I have felt a few heart palpitations, especially yesterday. Today's been good so far. So I'm glad I'm going to Cleveland. Hopefully Dr. Gildea will finally put me on the full dose of Revatio. And then I can really see if it'll help me!

The ice cream truck just drove by. I'm sorry, but I think it's time to give it up for the season!!! Sorry, had to vent. lol

Well I must get something to eat, and maybe take a little nap before leaving soon. I'll post results of my appointment soon!

Monday, September 24, 2007

This and That

My weekend went by quick, and it wasn't all that exciting. It was basically relaxing, and not doing much. I mean really, I don't think I did anything truly productive. I talked to a few friends for awhile. On my NEW PHONE. hehe I added almost 300 songs to my phone yesterday, and that took me quite awhile! So I guess I did do something! lol

Today I've been pretty busy, and it's such a difference from over the weekend. I am preparing for an upcoming PH support group meeting next month. I'm having a couple student speakers talk about diet and nutrition, and I think it'll be a good turnout. So this morning, I called a representative for Gilead, a pharmaceutical company that distributes the newest FDA approved treatment for PH, which is Letairis. He is actually a local person! And he knows so many of the doctors and hospitals in this area who are diagnosing and treating PH patients. I had a great conversation with him. He is willing to attend my meeting, and also provide lunch. Yay!! All I need now is the girl's last name who is coming to speak, so I can have it on my invitations. I hope she calls me soon, or else I'll just forget it, and I'll introduce her the day of the meeting. lol

I also called a number my mom gave me yesterday to ask about an upcoming flea market that is very close by. It's on October 6th, at the site of a former school. I have put my name down for a table. I hope to sell alot of my jewelry and lamps, but we'll see what happens! I also hope it won't be too cold, since it's an outdoor event. I'm glad my mom saw the number in the paper a couple times. I'm also glad she remembered to tell me!

Let's see, oh I also walked on the treadmill earlier! I got a 1/2 mile in, and it wasn't too terrible. My legs didn't feel like lead like they did a week ago when I tried walking. I did stretches and some weights, too. I hope I can do it a few more times this week. I go back to Cleveland for tests on Monday, and I have a feeling my walk won't be any better than last time. But, we shall see!

I have to babysit shortly for my friend, Jeannie. Her little baby is so cute. I've watched him a few times already, and all he's done is sleep! I hope he keeps that up. lol I'm happy that I can help her out for an hour a few times a week. She's relieved because it's someone she knows. I'm relieved because it's a little extra money! So far it's been going towards bills! Bleck!!

I'm going to Mandy's tomorrow morning. I haven't seen her in almost 2 weeks! I miss my sistore! I miss her kids! Her hubby is leaving tonight for a business trip, so she definitely needs some reinforcements to keep her sane. I'm not sure sending me in is the best choice, but hey, better than nothing!! hehe

Guess that's it for now! Gotta go take Revatio! :)

Friday, September 21, 2007

Patiently Waiting

My week has been ok. Not the best PH-wise, but I'm hanging in there. I'm still very short of breath, which has been driving me nuts. I seriously hate this time of year. I keep thinking that maybe I'm really getting worse, but I go through this EVERY fall!! I can't understand it. I'm trying to patiently wait it out, but it's so frustrating. I go back to Cleveland on October 1st, and I can tell you right now that I won't be doing well on my 6mw. I've been trying to exercise, just doing 6 minutes on the treadmill, and it hasn't been going well. At least I know that if I don't do well, my doctor will most likely just say to increase my Revatio to the full dose, and see what happens after that. So that's my only consolation about that. I really just want things to calm down with the sob!!

Other than the PH crap, I bought some new things this week that I'm just excited about!! I got a lovely new lamp for my bedroom, and the shade goes perfectly with the red accents in the room!! I had to return the base of the lamp yesterday, since the shade wasn't fitting on it for some reason. I realized when I got a different one, that the base had a missing piece on it! So when I got back home last night with the new base, I put the shade on it, put the bulb in, and voila! There was my fabulous new lamp! I just LOVE it!! I also bought a new, comfy white bra. I know you really wanted to know that. LOL

Tuesday, I went to Verizon Wireless to compare 2 cellphones I had my eye on for the past couple weeks. My 2 year contract is up next week, which allows me to get $100 toward a new phone! I wanted to see the phones up close and personal, before I made my decision. I finally decided on the new dark cherry chocolate phone from LG. I'll be able to play mp3's on it!! I went back home after looking at the phones, and ordered it online. So the phone should be arriving via FedEx at any moment today!! I'm patiently waiting for it!! I can't wait to play around with my new toy. Of course, I'll have to charge it up first, so I'll have to patiently wait on that, too!! lol

Monday, September 17, 2007

32 Years

Today is my 32nd birthday. While some people like to blow off their birthdays when they get older, and try to deny their age, I celebrate every year I get! Living with PH all these years hasn't been an easy thing, and yet, somehow I've made it this far. I thank the Good Lord for all the days He has given me so far. Even when I've had some tough periods, He has always given me strength to get through them, even when I didn't feel all that strong. I also thank God for my family, who has been there for me in everything I've gone through. I love them tremendously, and feel blessed to have them in my life. I also feel the same with my dear friends. They are also a huge support system, in so many ways. And then there is my PHamily. I am so thankful for finding the PHA website, and realizing that there were other people who are, unfortunately, dealing with PH like I have been since birth. These people have truly been comforting and supportive, in a much different way than my family and friends. My PHamily truly understand where I'm coming from when I say I have no energy, or I feel so short of breath, or am worried about a side effect, etc. It's not that my family and friends don't understand, it's just that my PHamily completely gets it. So I love them just as much!!

So I thank everyone in my life for being who they are. I love you all so dearly, more than words can express. I hope you all know how much you mean to me! Thank you for being there for me, and I hope to have at least another 32 years here with you all! :)

Thursday, September 13, 2007

So Far, So Good!

It's been 2 nights so far that I've taken Revatio in a 20mg dose. So far, no headaches, no yucky metal taste in my mouth. My blood pressure has dropped within half an hour of the dose, but it's still in the normal range, so it hasn't been a problem. Yay!!! I'm going to call Svetlana tomorrow afternoon, to keep her updated. But so far, I'm glad that I've decided to up the dose, even though it's slight!

I am going to clean the kitchen table. I'm having friends over tomorrow night, and I guess the table should be cleared so we won't accidentally eat some beads. lol

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


I've been on Revatio for almost a month now. I started it August 16th, at a half a dose (meaning 30mg a day, not 60mg). My PH doc wanted to ease me onto it slowly, since a drop in blood pressure and headaches can be quite common when a patient starts it. I know that my body still needs time to adjust to it, and get used to it being in my system daily. I had some pretty horrendous headaches a couple weeks ago, but they are gone now. I really haven't noticed a change at all yet, though. However, the change of seasons always bothers me, and I also have not been on it all that long. Not to mention, I'm only on half of what I should be!

Today I called Svetlana, Dr. Gildea's nurse practitioner. I've been calling her weekly, to let her know how I've been feeling, how my blood pressure is, if I have headaches or any other weird symptoms, etc. I told her I haven't had a headache in awhile, and I've also been feeling short of breath lately. I told her I knew that was because of the weather. It's been getting cooler, and today was humid, and I could just feel it in my lungs. She asked if I wanted to just stick with half the dose until I see Dr. Gildea again on October 1st, or if I wanted to try taking 20mg for my last dose of the day. I decided to give the 20mg a go! I really didn't feel like waiting another 2 1/2 weeks before I got to increase the dose. So tonight I will be taking the first 20 mg dose. Actually, I will be taking it in about 10 minutes. lol I'm hoping I won't get a headache from it, but if I do, at least it's not that long before I get to go to bed. I'll make sure I take my blood pressure reading a couple times, too. I'll be calling Svetlana back again on Friday to let her know how it's going, and if it's causing issues, I can just decrease it again. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed that there won't be any! So wish me luck!! lol

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Fall Time!

I think it's quite obvious that I made some decoration changes to my blog! I'm all ready for Fall. Being that Fall isn't exactly one of my favorite seasons, I've surprised myself that I don't seem to mind it this year. Well, at least not yet, anyway. Technically, it's still Summer. But once we get past Labor Day, and the first day of school starts, I no longer see it as Summer! Fall signifies the start of changing weather patterns, which usually is a relief to many people with PH. Not to me, really. When the cooler weather starts, I usually feel more crappy and short of breath. Even despite being on two medicines now to help control those symptoms. Fall also means that Winter is on the way, and I HATE being cold!! I will also find out if getting rid of my carpets and having the hardwood floors was a good idea this summer. I hope the heat won't escape so easily when it's time to turn it on!

But this Fall, I also see a lot of promise and change. My Dad will have prostate cancer surgery in October. A friend of mine will be getting married in October, as well. I'm assuming at some point, my little nephew will be baptized. And I'm crossing my fingers that I will be able to attend Cleveland Clinic's symposium for PH in November. I'm hoping that suddenly, Revatio kicks in for me, and I can start exercising so much more again. So Fall is a little exciting, and a little apprehensive for me, too, this year. I just hope to see everything in a positive light, which I've been able to do alot lately!


It's a little hard to believe that a week has already passed by since I was in Horseheads for my aunt and uncle's surprise 50th birthday party! The week certainly has flown. But last weekend was definitely alot of fun, and a great way to end the busy summer I had this year!

Last Sunday was the day of the actual surprise party, but the whole weekend was a game of trying to get my uncle to simmer down before it happened. He found out Friday that almost all his sisters were in town (he has 9 sisters, and 1 brother!). When he found out his sister from Georgia was flying in, he was even more upset. He couldn't understand why everyone was there, and no one had really informed him until the last minute!! His daughter gave him the excuse that it was Labor Day weekend, and everyone happened to be free to come to Grandma's for a visit before the busy school year began. Well, ok. He kind of accepted that.

So the plan to get Bob and Jane to the surprise party was as follows:

My cousin, Ryhan (Bob and Jane's daughter), has a daycare. One of the kids in her daycare is her best friend Denise's daughter. Ryhan asked her parents to babysit Aubry (the daughter) while Ryhan helped Denise set up for her family's "Labor Day party." Aka The Surprise party. Then Bob and Jane were supposed to bring Aubry to the party around 5:15pm, and hang out for a little bit. What they were really supposed to be doing is coming their own party and hanging out alot more than just half an hour!

So, the plan was working for the most part. Besides the fact that Bob was perturbed. He came over to Grandma's house with Jane and Aubry on Sunday morning, and was talking about the fact that they had to show up to this "Labor Day party" later, and how they wanted to just skip it altogether, and let Denise pick up Aubry later. Of course, we couldn't say anything to them! We made the excuse that Beverly (one of Bob's sisters) was going to have all of us at her house for dinner around 6:30. So he thought, oh good, at least I'll get to see everyone! Needless to say, he would be seeing everyone, just at a different venue!

So later on, around 5pm, when most of the people are supposed to be at the surprise party location, Denise calls Bob to tell them to bring Aubry around 5:30. Well, 5:30 turned into 5:45. And then they ended up reluctantly showing up around 6pm. We all gathered around the closed doors until Bob opened up one of them, and we all yelled "Surprise!!" Jane immediately burst into tears, and called everyone jerks when she hugged them! They really had NO clue that they were going to their own surprise party! And it was just alot of fun to be involved in it!!

I was very happy to see so many of my family on my mom's side. She has a huge family! And I have a ton of cousins, 3 of which showed up at the party! One of them, I don't think I've seen in about 15 years, at least! So it was a great get-together! Of course, I don't think Ryhan will plan anything like this again. Poor girl, I think she was going to have a heart attack by the time the surprise day came! She had been planning this since last September!! So like I said before, it was really a wonderful way to end my very hectic summer!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

I'm Hitting The Road!

My mom and I are leaving tomorrow for a mini-vacation! We are going to Horseheads, NY, where my mom grew up. It's going to be a great time, since many of my aunts and uncles are going to be there as well. My Aunt Jane and Uncle Bob are both turning 50 this year, and their daughter, Ryhan, is throwing them a surprise party on Sunday! She's been planning this for over a year, and apparently they have NO CLUE!! So that's the biggest reason my mom and I are going. My mom comes from a family of 11 children, eight sisters and two brothers. All of them are going to be there except for two sisters. One lives in Arizona, and that's just a bit much to go for a weekend. And one just isn't really involved with the family anymore. But I'm so excited to see everyone else, and my grandma!! She is 84, and still kicking pretty good! You wouldn't even know she's 84, she looks like she's in her late 60s! That is why I look like I'm 12! I get my young genes from my mom's side of the family for sure! hehe

So I'm off to bed soon, so I get enough rest for the trip. It's not that long a drive (about 3 hours), but I stress out sometimes when driving with my mom (making it a 4 hour trip with her). lol I'll be back some time on Monday!! :) :)

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


I am incredibly angry right now. More like livid. In the PH chat rooms tonight, a person named Sarah came into the chat room. She started out ok, saying she was in the room because she wanted to find out more about PH. She didn't have PH, but a friend did, and she wanted to know what it was really like with PH because she thought her friend was faking it.

I'm sorry, faking it????

How do you fake being so out of breath after walking up a flight of stairs?

How do you fake being a little blue after just walking down your hallway?

How do you fake blowing up with fluid because your heart is starting to go into failure?

How do you fake being tired when you do something simple like making your bed?

How do you fake a disease with tests and doctor visits that cost an incredible amount of money?

How do you fake an illness with treatments that can cost thousands of dollars a month?

I can't begin to tell you how angry I was to hear this woman spew all of the things she thinks her friend is faking!! This woman obviously has no clue what it's like to have a serious and life threatening disease. I mean, most people don't know what it's like, but at least they have some sort of compassion and caring in them. This Sarah kept telling us that she wanted to take over and control our PHriend (yes, we figured out that she was talking about a PHriend on the boards!!), and that she has been trying to get our PHriend's medical records, and trying to contact her doctors. She kept saying her friend was unstable and mentally not all there. I just couldn't believe it!! What kind of a friend are you when you say that about someone you supposedly care about?? It was all so very upsetting! And when we finally called her out on who she was, she shut up for a very long time. Then someone started saying something to her again, and eventually all of us were telling her to leave the room and never come back! No one can sit there and tell a room full of PHers that they think someone they know is FAKING THIS ILLNESS!!! She got an earful from us, and I sure hope she never comes back again!!

By the way, our PHriend this Sarah was talking about got into the chat room about 15 minutes after Sarah left. We all told her the story, and apparently Sarah has been trying to find out alot of crap about our PHriend today. So the advice given to our PHriend was to try to get some sort of order of protection against Sarah, which our PHriend is working on!!!! She is definitely in my prayers, that this Sarah person will be out of her life soon, because she is just a toxic person!!

And if Sarah ever comes back into the chat room, she will definitely get an earful from a large group of angry PHers!!!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Crazy Days!

I've had such a busy several days! Wednesday I was out all day visiting. First I went to Mandy's house for most of the morning and early afternoon. I played with my cute little niece for awhile, and she just cracks me up! And I got to see my cute little nephew, too, but he was sleeping most of the time. It was nice to just sit and chat with Mandy after both kids were sleeping. I still miss having her upstairs sometimes, but there is definitely no room for them there now. After I got home from visiting them, I got a call from a friend I used to work with at Headstart. She had had surgery, so she is off for 6 weeks, and she wanted to know if I wanted to come visit. So I did! We just sat on her back porch for a few hours, chatting away. I find it funny that I really didn't like her at first when I started working at Headstart, and now she is one of the only people I still talk to after I left there! I'll probably visit her again since she'll have alot of time off work!

Thursday was the day trip to Cleveland Clinic for my first dose of Revatio! My dad and I left at 7am (ewwww), and got to Cleveland right at 11am. We were called in by Svetlana, my doctor's nurse practitioner about 20 minutes later. She told us that Dr. Gildea wanted me to start a half dose of Revatio. So my dad had to go down to the pharmacy to buy a pill splitter! Revatio is not scored, since it's not really meant to be taken in halves, so it was necessary to get that splitter! Anyway, at noon, I said "Cheers!" and swallowed the first half dose! After that, Svetlana took my blood pressure, oxygen saturation levels, and heart rate every 15 minutes for the first hour. She also asked me if I had a headache, any vision problems, but each time I said nope! So after the first hour, I was allowed to get up and walk around a bit. I took a trip to the little girl's room, and then Svetlana weighed me. After that, I just sat in the chair in the room, and she checked me only twice that hour. I still wasn't feeling anything unusual, and my blood pressure was fine and dandy! So after 2 hours, we were allowed to go back home! I have to call Svetlana on Monday and Friday this week, to let her know how things are going. After talking to her on Friday, hopefully she'll find out if I can start on the full dose, or wait another week. We'll see what happens!

So far, I haven't felt a difference with being on Revatio. Of course, it's only been 4 days, and not even the full dose. I've had slight headaches for 3 days after the afternoon dose (I take it 3x a day, 8 hours apart). Today I didn't, and I think it was because I was pretty full after having lunch. So I think that's the key, to have a bit of food in my stomach! I am hoping maybe I'll notice a difference with just half the dose, so I wouldn't have to take a full one, but I don't know about that. I've been very short of breath the past few days, and that is because the weather changed drastically here. I don't think it even got to 70 today, and it's supposed to be like that tomorrow, too. It's driving me nuts!! So anyway, it's a wait and see process!!

Friday, I took it easy during the day. I really didn't do too much, except take away more stuff in the living room for Saturday's rug removal! Friday evening, my family had a nice dinner at Mandy's house. When we got there, my cute little nephew just began fussing and crying again, so I told Mandy I'd hold him! And hold him I did! I had him for about 40 minutes, while everyone else was trying to get dinner ready. He finally fell asleep for me, and I just held him on the couch for awhile. I almost felt like falling asleep myself! lol Eventually, Mandy took him into their room, and we all went to eat. Very yummy food, and nice conversation! It was great to all get together, since we hadn't done that since my cute little niece's 2nd birthday party in June!!

Saturday was rug removal day!! I was feeling a little blah-like in the morning with the dumb weather, and sort of testy. But Erin arrived with her cute little daughter, and after a bit, she started pulling out some rug while we waited for Eve and Jody. It was rather entertaining to watch her do it! lol Eventually Eve and Jody got there and started helping Erin. They moved furniture around the living room, they moved some out of there, got up the rug and padding, and started taking out staples. I kept going in and out of the room, helping with things here and there. Eventually Erin had to leave because her cute little daughter was going over the edge of sanity because it was past her naptime!! So Eve and Jody finished working on the floor. They washed it, had it dry, put the special hardwood floor stuff on it, let that dry, and moved to a different section. While they waited for the floor to dry, they also washed my kitchen floor and bathroom floor. I just couldn't believe they were willing to do all that for me!! In the meantime, Erin's husband came over with the area rug they bought me for babysitting their cute little daughter, which had just arrived that day!! What perfect timing!! They got the rug down, and helped me move all the boxes back into the living room with all my stuff I had in there. Eventually they took off, and I got to put most of my stuff away, and just sit in my living room, in awe of the changes that had happened!! See my post below for pictures!!

Saturday night, nine of us went out to dinner! We went to The Brickyard in Lewiston, NY. It was a fun time! I haven't laughed that much in a long time, and I think it wore me out a little. I was soooo tired by the time I got home from everything that had happened on Saturday. I didn't go to bed right away, but when I finally did, I went out like a light!

Now I must go to bed. Even though all I did today was relax and watch tv (in my new living room!!!), I didn't get a nap. So, sleep is much needed!! Good night!

A Brand New Living Room



Monday, August 13, 2007

Oh The Possibilities!

I know, it's been awhile since I wrote. I was reminded of this by a good friend! lol

It seems so much has beeg going on, and the summer is just sliding away so fast. This week will be pretty busy come Thursday. I am leaving in the early morning with my dad to go to Cleveland, so I can finally take the first dose of my new medicine, Revatio!! I'm so happy about this, because lately I've been feeling a little more short of breath. And I've gotten back into exercising again, and I know I'm not doing as well as I was before. So I truly hope Revatio works for me, and gives me more energy to get through things! I have heard some of my PHriends say it's worked right away, so that is good to know! Wish me luck!!

My living room rug is being ripped out this weekend by my wonderful friends!! I've slowly been packing things in boxes so it's easier to move the furniture out of there. I just cannot wait for it to be gone!! I really am going to feel like I have a modern living room when it's out of there. And my friend bought me an awesome area rug that I saw, and it will look so good in the room. So by the end of this weekend, I will be out of the 70s in the living room!!! lol

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

PH Chat

About 2 weeks ago almost, I asked my fellow PHriends whether anyone would like an afternoon chat. We have chat practically every night during the week, except for Saturdays. So I posted the question on the PH boards. And it looked like it was going to be a grand idea!! So last Tuesday (the 24th), I hosted the first afternoon chat. And it was a success! In the hour and a half that I could be there, I saw at least 14 different people come and go. It was so good to see so many of us come together to chat. Many were people who can never make it to the night time chats for various reasons. So I was pleased!

Today chat was very busy again! So I'm so glad that I asked everyone whether it was a good idea. And I plan on continuing it for as long as I can!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Harry Potter Snafu!!

I read an article earlier today about some people who were missing pages out of the new Harry Potter book. They were either completely missing, or they were just in the wrong section of the book, causing some problems in reading it coherently!! Some people are keeping the book as a collector's item, and some are trading them in for a new version.

Tonight I was reading my copy, and I got up to chapter 15. I like to skim and see how long the chapters are, so I was trying to figure out when chapter 15 ended, and chapter 16 started. I soon realized that I had 33 missing pages!! I couldn't believe it, just my luck!! I called one of my sisters to tell her (she finished the book in 2 days, so she said I could borrow hers to finish reading!), and then one of my friends. After getting off the phone, I looked at my book again, and discovered that I really wasn't missing the pages after all. They were just in a completely different section. Soooo, I can continue reading the book!

On Ebay, however, I found 2 copies of misprinted books. One is going for $50 right now, and the other is going for a little over $80. So I might have to consider putting my book on Ebay after I'm done for some extra cash!! Of course, I would have to get myself another copy of the book, and hope that it's not missing pages either!!