Testing Concerns

 I'm scheduled for a right heart catheterization on April 15th. I haven't had one since I was 2 years old. Both of my Cleveland doctors have suggested having a baseline RHC within the past year, especially if I were ever to start a transplant journey. I know what the test is like, but I also don't know what the test is like. I know they are done thousands of times a day all over the country, and I know my Cleveland cardiologist will be the ONLY ONE touching me because she doesn't let anyone else touch her congenital heart patients. But.....I am scared. I admit that. It's a test I haven't had done since an age I can't even remember it, so I don't know what to expect. I am trying my best to not focus on it, since it's over a month away. I keep telling myself that I will be in good hands, I will be with my best friend who is taking me, it's not a very long procedure, and hopefully it will provide some news my doctors haven't had to go on considering my PH has been monitored by yearly echos. And so, I just had to write this out, because journaling is something I NEED TO DO AGAIN!!! And since I'm having a hard time writing long enough with my right collarbone hurting again, typing my feelings out will have to do. 

So,

It's ok to be nervous about a test I've not had in decades. It's ok to be scared. It's not ok to worry day after day for weeks until the test gets here. I am choosing to type these feelings here, and let them go for now. They are not needed for weeks to come. And my worries will probably be for naught. Like many worries are. 

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