Daily Ponderings

I am pretty happy today! It's been the first time in a long time that I've been able to workout without feeling sick or anything. I think the medicine I've been taking is starting to help me out! It's so nice to not be tired after walking. I can only hope that it will get better! Of course, that means I keep having to yell at myself to go down and walk!! lol But if I felt this good today, than maybe that will keep me motivated to keep up with my exercising!

Lately I have just been feeling....well, not myself, I guess. I feel stuck in a place I don't want to be in. I'm not sure how I've physically been feeling lately. Some days are worse than others, it seems. And I'm not sure if it's b/c I felt like I was coming down with something, or if it's b/c mentally, I'm not all that happy. Could be a combination of both. I wonder sometimes if I'll ever be ok, if I'll find something that makes me happy, if I'll find someone who'll make me happy too. Right now, I don't feel as if either of those things will happen.

I am not a fall person. Nor am I a winter person. And that seems quite silly considering I've lived in WNY all my life, and the fall and winters here are pretty darn cold! I am just complaining about the cold today, mainly b/c I am cold right now! lol I wish it was summer, although this past summer wasn't always that warm either. I can't win, I need a placel like Hawaii. That would be lovely!! :D

Today we tried on dresses for Mandy's wedding. It was nice to try on dresses that actually came darn close to fitting me! My favorite was a 2-piece looking dress, and it was in Victorian lilac. I am not thrilled about having purple for another wedding again, but this dress looked very nice! I definitely like it, and in talking with Lisa tonight, she said she didn't really care what we got. But I think she's going to her David's Bridal to try the ones Mandy liked. I just hope it's something Leah likes, too. I'll be frustrated if she doesn't! lol I think the fact that I'll be in 2 weddings this coming year is making me a little sad. Since I'm not even close to doing anything like that. I know I keep getting told I'll find someone, but it just never seems like it'll happen. And stupid me keeps missing Dave every once in a while, and it's been sooooooo long since we broke up. And it was a good thing we did! I also keep thinking ma...

I started the new medicine on Thursday. It's way too early to tell if it's working, but I hope I will be able to soon. I exercised today for the first time in a while. I thought, how am I going to be able to tell if the medicine is working if I'm not exercising? I really do hope and pray that it helps me with shortness of breath, and things like exercising. I find it discouraging when I try talking on the phone, and doing something, and I feel like I need to slow down b/c I'm losing my breath. :( That's a crappy feeling. Not much else has been going on since I last wrote. I'm just trying to keep myself busy. I went to see my second mom on Wednesday, and was happy to know she is doing student teaching this semester. I'm so happy for her! Only her portfolio is left, and then she finally has her degree. I'm proud of her for sticking with this for so long, I really hope that in the end it will be worth it. :) Well, that's enough for the mome...

It's been a while since I've exercised, which I'm not happy about. It's my fault though, it's getting to that time of year when the basement feels cold. That's no excuse, though! But I was a little worried today when I had to stop twice because I felt like I was going to throw up. I had that feeling at Cleveland, right at the end of my walk. I've never had that feeling happen before, and I'm scared that I might be getting worse. I'm hoping that, when I get the Tracleer medicine, it will help allow me to exercise better. If not, I have a real problem. However, I do realize that no matter how I feel, I have to keep up with the exercising. It's important, no matter how much I do.