One Day Good, One Day Bad

Today wasn't the greatest day for me in dealing with anxiety. It started with a phone call just after 8am that I didn't answer because I wasn't even really awake at that time. The phone number showed up as "Restricted," so I ignored it, and then listened to the sound my phone makes when someone leaves a voicemail. About half an hour later, since I couldn't go back to sleep, I listened to the message from the nurse at my gynecologist's office, telling me to please call back as soon as I could. Wonderful. I was trying not to worry about it as I called back 10 minutes later, but I had to leave my name since the nurse wasn't available at that moment. I continued to get ready for pulmonary rehab, but my mood just wasn't the greatest, and I could tell the anxiety was creeping up. Exercising helped a little, but trying to keep myself occupied when I got back home was hard. I eventually showered, and called the office back after drying my hair. The "problem" ended up being from the blood work I had done yesterday, and it ended up being my red blood cell count and hematocrit and hemoglobin numbers that were really high, and since it was flagged as a problem, they wanted me to call my primary doctor to discuss it. Well, those numbers are ALWAYS high, no matter who orders them to get tested or how many times a year I get that count done. It's because of my low oxygen levels, my body makes way too many red blood cells to try to carry more oxygen around my system, and the numbers go up. I told them I knew my doctor wasn't going to do anything about it, even Cleveland isn't terribly concerned, so she said that's ok and that was the end of the call.

Did I feel relieved? Yes, but my body was already pounded by the anxiety that had built most of the day that I ended up with a huge headache and really tired. I try not to get more upset with myself than I already am for feeling that way. I rested a bit and had some dinner before going out to meet my friend and her mom at Banchetti's, a place that has weekly Wednesday night bands out on the grove during the summer. We were there for awhile before my friend and I went off to Starbucks to get something warm to drink (since the nights are getting much chillier quicker, boo!!). That was a nice time before we headed back, and I headed on home. I'm feeling very exhausted, still a bit headachy, and pretty tired. I'm really just hoping tomorrow won't be the same, but I am keeping in mind that everything is temporary. I had a pretty decent day yesterday, today wasn't so hot, that doesn't mean tomorrow will be the same!


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