One Day Good, One Day Bad

Today wasn't the greatest day for me in dealing with anxiety. It started with a phone call just after 8am that I didn't answer because I wasn't even really awake at that time. The phone number showed up as "Restricted," so I ignored it, and then listened to the sound my phone makes when someone leaves a voicemail. About half an hour later, since I couldn't go back to sleep, I listened to the message from the nurse at my gynecologist's office, telling me to please call back as soon as I could. Wonderful. I was trying not to worry about it as I called back 10 minutes later, but I had to leave my name since the nurse wasn't available at that moment. I continued to get ready for pulmonary rehab, but my mood just wasn't the greatest, and I could tell the anxiety was creeping up. Exercising helped a little, but trying to keep myself occupied when I got back home was hard. I eventually showered, and called the office back after drying my hair. The "problem" ended up being from the blood work I had done yesterday, and it ended up being my red blood cell count and hematocrit and hemoglobin numbers that were really high, and since it was flagged as a problem, they wanted me to call my primary doctor to discuss it. Well, those numbers are ALWAYS high, no matter who orders them to get tested or how many times a year I get that count done. It's because of my low oxygen levels, my body makes way too many red blood cells to try to carry more oxygen around my system, and the numbers go up. I told them I knew my doctor wasn't going to do anything about it, even Cleveland isn't terribly concerned, so she said that's ok and that was the end of the call.

Did I feel relieved? Yes, but my body was already pounded by the anxiety that had built most of the day that I ended up with a huge headache and really tired. I try not to get more upset with myself than I already am for feeling that way. I rested a bit and had some dinner before going out to meet my friend and her mom at Banchetti's, a place that has weekly Wednesday night bands out on the grove during the summer. We were there for awhile before my friend and I went off to Starbucks to get something warm to drink (since the nights are getting much chillier quicker, boo!!). That was a nice time before we headed back, and I headed on home. I'm feeling very exhausted, still a bit headachy, and pretty tired. I'm really just hoping tomorrow won't be the same, but I am keeping in mind that everything is temporary. I had a pretty decent day yesterday, today wasn't so hot, that doesn't mean tomorrow will be the same!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Most Inspiring Possession

Image
A dear friend named Judi, whose journal I've been reading for years, has brought back her ARTSY ESSAY CONTEST ! I'm very excited about this, and hope that others will read the wonderful essays already posted in Judi's blog! Here is the topic for this month's new installment: What is your favorite and most inspiring possession? Tell us about it, and if you want an extra creative challenge... tell us about it without naming it until the very last sentence of your essay:):):) I own alot of possessions. When I first moved out of my parents' house, almost 9 years ago, I took this possession with me. It was mine, I had bought it, but I did allow the other members of my family to use it from time to time while I was at home. This possession has been a tremendous outlet for me to do a wide variety of things. I was able to record the barking of our first family dog, something that was cherished when she sadly died way too early for her doggy lifespan. I also was able to save...
Read more

The Ideal Day

Once again, it's that time of month for dear Judi's Artsy Essay Contest! Please see the rules and regulations for this month here . I entered a couple month's ago when Judi decided to revive this wonderful contest, and decided I'd like to give it a shot this month! Here goes! My Ideal Day My ideal day would start out at 7am to get ready for work, instead of getting up to take a pill. My ideal day would be going to work as a teacher, instead of wondering if I'd feel well enough to do anything for that day. My ideal day would be working out at a gym, instead of hoping to have enough energy to just walk for 6 minutes on the treadmill at home. My ideal day would be to freely walk about around my home and in public, instead of being tethered to a plastic tube going into my nose, providing oxygen to keep me going. My ideal day would be remembering meeting times with friends or family, instead of keeping track of the 8 different times I need to take a pill or vitamin in ...
Read more

Lost

Growing up with pulmonary hypertension and congenital heart disease was sometimes lonely, because there wasn't anyone around me who felt the same way I did physically. No one had to stay out of gym because they got too tired and too short of breath like I did on a constant basis. No one had to wear a holter monitor like the one time I had to in 4th grade. Talk about trying to play mum ball in class, all you could hear was the monitor thing making noise. Although I could always go to sports games, I wasn't able to participate in any type of sport, because again, it was just physically way too much for my body to handle. I didn't really regret any of this. I thought it was just me and my normal. I thought I was the only person out there who really dealt with this kind of thing, but that was ok. I graduated high school, and started college. I worked, went to classes, and in the last year of college, started going out a lot more. I graduated with my education degree, and began ...
Read more