WTF, 2020????

Near the end of last year, with all the busyness of the holidays, I started realizing how happy I truly had been for quite some time. I reflected on how 2015 and the few years following were so difficult to get through, but also that I eventually conquered those difficulties to the point where I was loving life again!! I was doing fairly good healthwise, exercising quite a bit, still meditating daily. I was enjoying all the things that go with the holiday, such as buying gifts for family and a few friends, going to holiday events for the nursing home, spending time with loved ones almost every week. Christmas came and went, and it was nice! Even though I spent the New Year by myself again as usual, I didn't mind. I was in a happy place!! I had excitement and hope for 2020 and new things to come!! BRING ON THE NEW YEAR!!!

BUT THEN........

In January, stuff started happening with my parents' health. My mom had some inconsistencies with some tests that had to be investigated. Plus, she didn't always feel well, which really wasn't anything new, but I felt like it was more frequent. And then near the end of January, my dad had a small stroke. That threw the entire family for a loop, including my dad, who has been relatively healthy for the most part. I'm so incredibly thankful that his stroke was not severe, but he is still trying to recover from it two months later. I believe he'll get there, but he seems to be having impatience with it, and not always feeling that great.

Also in January, a dear friend's father had a stroke before my dad had his. Then in February, a dear friend's mother passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. Several days after the funeral, another dear friend's father had a small heart attack. All I could think of was WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS HAPPENING??? I admit I had a couple breakdowns with all the stress that I was going through worrying about not only my own parents, but the parents of my friends. This year wasn't going well in terms of health so far!! The only blessing I felt was that my own physical health wasn't taking a toll.

In the meantime, a scary, brand new virus was spiraling out of control in China. I would hear about it in my daily news brief with Alexa as I went on with my morning routine. It actually started to make news before the new year, but the news made it seem for awhile that it was just a thing happening across the world. Until it started spreading into other countries. And before we knew what was happening, Coronavirus (Covid-19) hit the United States.

Most of the country has been on lockdown since the second weekend of March. No one is allowed to come into the country unless they are a necessity. The elderly and people with compromised immune systems should really not try leaving the house. Covid-19 has been spreading regardless of this because not everyone is practicing social distancing, a term that has become the "new normal" nowadays in American life. Stores are bare of a lot of needs, especially toilet paper and cleaning supplies. I've only been out driving twice since March 7th, and it wasn't to go to a store, it was just to get some outdoor air in a space other than my home. No one knows when life will go back to normal, but will it truly be "normal" again? This pandemic hit the world in a fury and no one was really prepared for it (no matter what person in higher positions think). I hope and pray every day that none of my family and friends get sick from this virus, and I also hope and pray that this ends soon. In the meantime, thinking about just the first three months of this brand new year, all I can say is:

WHAT THE FUCK, 2020???????????

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