So, after reading a couple comments left on my last post, and some of Facebook, I was very open and honest with A. after we watched the Bill sadly lose their game today (UGH, such high hopes crushed in the 2nd half lol). I could tell he was a little alarmed as I was telling him how I was feeling, but I made sure he knew it wasn't anything he was doing. I told him the things I enjoyed about him, and that some things I'm still trying to get used to since I hadn't had that in my previous relationship, and that yes, there was a part of me holding back a little. I told him it might take some time, but doesn't building a relationship take time anyway?? See, these are things I need to constantly tell myself! lol I also told him if I feel I need to distance myself, to realize that it's not him, it's me and that I need to just take a breath and gather my thoughts. I also told him hugs were greatly appreciated. We certainly did that tonight, and I do feel a bit better that I talked to him about how I'd been feeling and how insidious anxiety can be to overcome. He seemed to be understanding and he hugged me for the longest time while I cried. And right before he left the house to go home, he told me I was worth it.
So, anxiety?? You're going to lose because I WANT to win! I want to get to know this man more, and I do NOT want to be afraid to fall for him, because he certainly seems like the type of man who is worth keeping around. And as I told my friend just now, "The future only works when you take it one day at a time." I need to remember this!!