Letting Go

It's been a difficult couple of days for me and many of my phriends. Our dear phriend, Terry, has been taking off his meds today, and will peacefully (I hope) go when his time comes. It was an agonizing decision, I'm sure, by his loving wife and sons. He's been in the hospital since March with several problems, and nothing was helping him. I can't imagine how hard it was to decide to let him go. My love and prayers go out to the entire family. Terry, I will miss your positive attitude, your "laffin" and your hugzzzzzz. Love you so much, my phriend. May you find Mason and Racheal waiting for you to join them with open arms.

I also found out yesterday that another phriend who has been in the hospital since September wants out to go home and be comfortable. I don't understand why the doctors didn't do more for him, or transfer him to another hospital. I don't understand why no one really fought for better care. I am sad that this young man is no longer eligible for a lung transplant because he is way too sick. It makes me angry, too. I just wonder why things are the way they are sometimes. Anyway, if he wants to go home, I hope that he is able to. I hope there is peace and comfort for him, too.

Euan's dad wrote to me last night, and he described how Euan's nephew saw him 2 days after he died as a little boy. He told everyone that he was ok. A niece also told them that she saw Euan as well. I am a bit envious that these innocent children got to see Euan after he was gone, but, it at least lets me know that he is in a better place and much happier. I miss him a lot in the past couple days.

There is a celebration of Euan's life coming up in a few weekends, in the form of a movie. Friends and family have been invited to come, including myself. I still have to get my enhanced license, but even if I do get it in time, I don't know how I'm going to get to Toronto. No one seems to want to make the drive, and I am way too leery of driving that far by myself to an area I've never been to. I'm unsure what to do yet, but nothing matters until I get the license.

I went to my local PH doctor yesterday, and never got to see him. I did see his RN. She was very happy at how I've been doing, and kept telling me how impressed she was with how much I do for the PH community. I guess she is right, because when I left to go back to the reception area to make an appt for 5 months later, I met a woman with o2 who told me I was much too young to be wearing it, and wanted to know why. I told her I had PH, and she said she did, as well. I asked her if she ever receives the flyers for the support group meetings, and she said yes, and I told her I was the leader. She wanted to know why she would benefit going to one of the meetings. So I talked to her for several minutes, and gave her the green PHA card in case she'd like to check out the website. My mom and I left for the elevators after saying goodbye to the lady, and my mom gave me a big hug. Ah, so I guess that was what the RN was so happy about when she said she was impressed. :)


Nancy said…
This has been a sad year with so many PHriends losing their battle.

I hope that you will be able to attend the memorial.

Great job on explaining your group to the other patient. Hopefully, she will feel more comfortable about attending your next meeting.
CL said…
Whew, what to say? (((hugs))). Have you applied for the license? Do that and pray. You take the first step, the rest will fall in. You ARE the best.
Jen said…
Hugs to ya..I just updated my Blog as well..so much heart ache.

Sounds like a great memorial for Euan.

Good work you do with all the SG and PHA chats. I love ya and sending extra hugs your way!! I think I know of the other PHriend, I dont blame him, it has been so long at the damn hospital.
Although I am MIA, still love ya and miss ya:))
Mortimer said…
My heart goes out to you! It reminds me of the eighties when I lost so many friends to A.I.D.S. It seems I was going to a funeral every other week. Horrifying.
Remember you are always in my thoughts, dahling. Fight the fight! We need the good people like you in this world!
Annette said…
I was shocked to read about TW on someone's blog. I've been out of the loop for so long, I had no idea he was having so much trouble. You are such an incredible woman Colleen. Thanks for all that you do.
much love

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