Yes, I'm slacking again. I would like to talk about a certain topic I've had a hard time with for a long time while living with PH, and that would be dating. Now I'm not a newbie at it, I have dated, and I have had a boyfriend, but it was years ago. Too many years ago. It was also before I had to wear oxygen all the time, and before I had to start taking major meds to treat PH. After all that happened, it was really hard to find someone who wanted to deal with everything. One person I found and truly loved was Euan, but he also had major health issues going on, and so it made it so much easier for us to relate and eventually fall for each other. And sadly now he is gone.
I've been on several dating websites, but most recently I've been on one that is totally free. I purposely put pictures up with me wearing oxygen, because well, that's the truth. I figure if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to say anything. Why lie and have someone find out later that I actually do wear it? Show up to a date and "surprise!" I wear oxygen??? I'd be a bit upset if someone did that to me! Anyway, I've had plenty of men send me messages asking me why I'm wearing it, if I have such-and-such disease, and even one who told me I need to take the oxygen off (idiot). Some men I've gotten back to, and they've been inquisitive, and some I've never heard from again. I never actually even got to the point where I'd want to meet any of these guys, mainly because many times, they'd stop writing. Well, ok. Thanks a lot! So it's always been a bit discouraging, and even though I always blow it off as if I don't really care to have someone in my life, lately it's not been my true feelings. I do want to have a friendship with a man that turns into a great romance, or whatnot. I just don't want to be alone, even though, if it had to turn out that way, I'd just accept it. What other choice do I really have?
Well, as unexpectedly as it's been, someone has come into my life, and in a matter of a month, I've gone from no dates to a bunch of dates. It's been fun, overwhelming, and unbelieveable at the same time! I'm trying to have to just go with it, but always in the back of my head is a feeling that something will happen and things will just end. I guess I've had too much of that in the past. This man actually admitted to me at one point that he's never dated someone with major health issues before, and that he's a pretty active guy. He just wanted to be honest. But he keeps asking me to do things with him, so I take that as a good sign that maybe he's willing to give this a try. It's still too early to tell what will happen, but I have to admit that I am pretty happy right now!