Memories

Today is a stark contrast to the day 12 years ago when I learned that my Grandpa passed away. It was a beautiful sunny day, much warmer than it is today. My Grandpa had been in the hospital for almost a month, fighting every moment of being there. He constantly pulled out his IVs, or tried to, until they finally put them down near his ankle. He always wanted to go home. Little did he know that if he ever left the hospital, he wasn't going back to the home he loved. My parents had been trying to find the right nursing home for him, which my grandpa would have absolutely hated. In a way, I think it was a blessing that he passed away in the hospital, for he would have been miserable if he couldn't go back to his home.

In the 12 years since my Grandpa has gone home to God, I've gone through alot of emotions. The first few years were hard for me. I cried every year on the anniversary of his death, because it still seemed like it just happened. Over the years, it's gotten better. I usually try to go to the cemetary, depending on the weather. The past few years, I've remembered the day, but then I've forgotten to go remember grandpa at the cemetary, or in my thoughts and prayers.

This year, today, I'm missing him very much. And I'm wondering if he's missing us. I'm sure he is. Our family has grown over the years. Two out of my three cousins have married. One of them has two children. One of my sisters has gotten married, and has a baby. Another sister is getting married this summer. I wonder if Grandpa has been there to watch over us through all our changes and additions. I'd like to think that he is.

Here's to you, Grandpa. I love you as much as I did the day you passed away, and I always will. You will always live on in my memory, and in my heart.

Comments

Lori @ Purple Snapdragons said…
What a wonderful entry. I can tell how much you love him and understand how you feel. My Gram was a huge part of my life. She'll have been gone 10 years as of this Sunday. It still feels like yesterday and there are times when I think I can't miss her any more than I already do and then I find myself missing her all that more. I hope they're both watching over us. Hugs ~ L
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