Daily Ponderings

As much as I wanted to go to rehab today, I finally decided not to since my ear was bothering me and I thought the A/C in the gym would really make it worse. I spent the day doing little things for my upcoming PH support group meeting in October, hosting PH chat for a little while, and making several attempts at trying to take a nap. Every time I tried, something would come up. The phone would ring, the doorbell rang, I'd just get to sleep and the phone would ring again. It wasn't until after dinner that I finally dozed for a little bit on the couch. After debating back and forth for 20 minutes this afternoon, I finally decided to just call my doctor's office and tell them I didn't think my ear was 100% better, and that the antibiotic I've been on was going to be done tomorrow. I got the triage nurse, and when she answered, I could tell by her voice that it was my doctor's nurse. Yay!! After I mentioned my name, J. asked me right away if my ear was any better b/...

We had a yard sale this past weekend, and my niece and nephew were here for awhile on Friday morning. Trying to find things for them to do is good to a point. My niece, H, is 5 and can pay attention to things longer than my nephew, S, who is 3. At one point, H was given a pad of paper and some crayons, so she started drawing. Here she drew a picture of me, and when she was done she said she wanted to put it on my fridge. I asked her where Mittens was in my picture. She proclaimed that she didn't know how to draw a cat. And so I told her to just draw a big circle for the body, and a smaller circle for the head, and some triangles for the ears, and a long tail. She asked if Mittens was all orange, and I said yes, except for his tummy, where he has white fur. I'd say she did a pretty darn good job drawing Mittens. I swear it's drawn to scale. LOL! This picture is currently hanging on my fridge, but I do think I want to get a frame for it. It's one of my favorites from H, a...

I was having such a good summer, mostly feeling well enough to do things and go places with family and friends. I was doing so well with rehab, proud that I could go up a bit with walking and loving all my muscles and such. lol The heat of the summer was something I enjoyed so much, despite the fact that many people didn't like it (I can't help it, I freeze so much in the winter that I look so forward to the summer temps!). I didn't expect things to slam to a halt and push me backwards so quickly like it did when I got sick with a cold and ear infection. I've had colds before, but they have not been as frequent as they were 10 years ago when I was around germy children and adults every day while teaching. In fact, the last time I got sick was in January, and the time before that was the spring months prior. It just seems when I do get a cold, it takes so much longer to recover fully than it did the last time, and that's a little scary. My cold now is pretty much gon...

Three years ago today was the last time I saw Euan in person. Actually, it was only the second time I had ever seen him. His parents dropped him off here and left to enjoy dinner in a restaurant a few blocks away, so Euan and I could spend some quality time together. This was shortly after we had realized we had feelings for each other, and he felt well enough to hang out for a little while. It was such a wonderful evening, talking and laughing, sharing stories, kidding around. Even the kiss we shared was so beautiful, until discovering afterward that it had started his heart beating so fast that it wouldn't slow down. Although that was definitely not funny at the time, Euan and I both laughed at it long afterward, and as recently as February when we talked about that night. It was an evening we had both hoped to share again one day, and again and again....but it will just never be. I thought about Euan most of the day today, but I really got a smile (and some tears) when I saw 2 s...

The last several days have not been easy. I have felt so crappy, but the worst part of it has been the excruciating pain of an ear infection. I've had tons of ear infections over the years. In fact, every time I get sick, I usually have one. My right ear has always been the target for the infections. I had tubes twice in my right ear as a kid, and I just recently had one put in this summer since it wasn't draining for a long time, there was lots of fluid behind my eardrum, and I couldn't hear well. I was really hoping that because of the new tube, I wouldn't be prone to ear infections if I got sick again, but well, I was wrong. So anyway, Monday morning I made a call to my doctor, told them how I was feeling, and was able to get an appt at 4pm with the nurse practitioner. I waited patiently all afternoon for that appt, and didn't take anything for the pain since Tylenol Arthritis just wasn't helping much. My mom brought me to my appt, I saw the NP, and she gave ...

I'm sick. It isn't pleasant having PH and dealing with your average cold. It's even worse when it's summer. I think all the lack of naps and the busy days last week finally caught up with me. Last night, I felt sniffly, and although my throat wasn't sore, it felt odd. I drank tea with honey and sniffed a bottle of Vicks occasionally throughout the night (not the best idea, at one point I stuck my little finger in the bottle, and the gross slimy feel of the stuff woke me up long enough to grab a kleenex, wipe my finger off, cap the bottle and drift back to sleep). I woke up not feeling much better, but at least I finally had a morning to sleep in. Most of the day, I did nothing. I took Mucinex, not the green one, but the blue one. PHers need to make sure they don't take a decongestant because it isn't good for us. That totally sucks, let me tell you. I took decongestants growing up, and they really helped me when I was sick. Now, sadly, I pretty much have to...

It's amazing how tiring it is to lose a few days worth of naps. All I feel like doing in the past couple days is sleeping! It's a real pain in the butt to have some good days PH-wise, and overdoing it on those days, and then losing a few days to recovery. And yet, do I learn from it? It seems like I never do. Does anyone dealing with a chronic illness learn?? We all take our good days for granted, as if they are a golden opportunity to do all the things we can't do on a bad day. We may clean, or go shopping, or go out to eat with family and/or friends. We may get things done that we didn't have the energy for before. We may try cramming all of those things into one day, because, that the heck, we are feeling pretty darn good today and nothing is impossible! Good day ends, and wham! The next day feels as if we hit a brick wall. Nothing is happening that day, for we completely overdid it, yet again, on our good day. It's a vicious cycle, and I am guilty over and over ...

It's been a long and rather eventful several days, and I'm getting worn out a lot lately. I think I need to get more rest than I have been getting! Last weekend I traveled to my Grandma's in Horseheads, NY, with my mom, Mandy and the kids. It was a brief trip. We left Saturday morning, got there in the early afternoon. The kids explored the house and were in awe at how big it seemed to them. We didn't do too much the rest of the day, just hung out at Grandma's (although I did go to church with her, my mom and one of my aunts), and ate a late dinner. Preparations for the next day were started by my Grandma, and eventually I was tired enough to call it a night. Sunday was rather rainy, which kinda stunk since the kids couldn't really run around and explore the very large backyard at Grandma's. They spent most of the time watching programs on tv, while we got food ready for the afternoon party that was going to happen at another aunt's home. My aunt's c...

I've been getting random comments from stupid people that are obviously spam. I'm glad that I set up comments to be approved by me first, but the amount of spam keeps increasing lately. So, I just tried adding a word security thing to see if that'll stop it for awhile. I sure hope so!! Mittens is peeking around the corner at me. It's almost 1am and he has been running around the apartment, sounding like a galloping horse. Wish he'd do that more during the day!! He's happy I'm home, I was gone for a couple days visiting family. I missed his cute lil face!! Off to bed now since I've been up since 8am, didn't get a nap, and tried to keep my niece and nephew entertained on the trip back home. Fun times, but very tiring!! :)

I swear, I didn't do anything to him!! Mittens likes to bang on the apartment door that leads into the shared hallway every once in awhile, meaning he wants to go out to explore (not outside, just in the house!). I don't mind, and usually will let him out, knowing he'll head for the basement to wander. However, the last several times he's gone out there, I find him later on the landing going up to the upstairs neighbor's apartment. He just likes to sit there. Last Friday, he didn't seem to appreciate that I caught him up there and took a picture!!

Today at rehab, I started a new challenge for myself. In the last several weeks on the treadmill, I've been able to walk almost 20 minutes at 2.5% grade (incline) and 2.2mph. Most of the time, while tired, I felt ok after walking this long. On Friday, after walking up many hills on our excursion to the Falls, I realized that had I never been walking on an incline on the treadmill, I probably would have really been hurting on the way up the hills. I was tired, very tired, but it wasn't terrible. And sooo, I decided today to increase the grade on the treadmill. I put it at 3%, and since it was the first time walking that, I only set the pace at 1.5mph, and was able to manage 10 minutes with no problem. So Thursday, I will increase the speed a notch. I know once I start increasing higher, I probably won't walk as long at first. It'll take time! But, it took about a year for me to get used to the 2.5% grade, so I don't expect to be used to 3% any time soon. Hopefully th...

Today I played tourist with Mandy and the kids in our own backyard! We went down to see the Falls this morning, something I hadn't done in several years, besides going down a month ago to see the fireworks at night. It's kinda sad that the Falls are less than 10 minutes away, and I don't go see them more often. The parking is really what kills it for me. I could find free parking, but then I'd have to walk quite a distance to get to the areas that shows the Falls up close. Or, I can pay the $10 parking fee for the lot that isn't far from the Falls, but I wouldn't spend enough time to justify paying that 10 bucks. Mandy had a parking pass for all the state parks, though, so we went together, and I'm glad we did! It was a beautiful morning, not humid or hot (although it was a bit chilly the closer we got to the Falls), and it wasn't terribly crowded. Here are some of the pictures I got! I did get some video clips, too. I'll try to put them up tomorrow!

It's the 2nd day of August, and so far, my headaches are better. The weather yesterday afternoon got warmer and a bit muggier, and voilá! The headaches disappeared. I knew they were weather-related! Yesterday I finally worked on a wire bracelet and earring set for one of my friends. Her birthday was in July, and I hadn't made anything yet. I haven't seen her all summer, either. I will on Saturday, so I figured I needed to get my butt in gear! I finished the set in the evening, and then worked on a necklace pattern for a triple illusion necklace and earring set. I used really beautiful green beads, but it took forever for me to decide on how I wanted it to look before I settled with a final look! Today I worked on it. It took a few hours to complete, with some breaks here and there, but it looks great! After that, I set up another pattern to work on tomorrow, or whenever I find some time. I really need to get myself back into working on jewelry. I hate when I lose inspirati...