Saturday, August 28, 2010

Just Like Yesterday

Three years ago today was the last time I saw Euan in person. Actually, it was only the second time I had ever seen him. His parents dropped him off here and left to enjoy dinner in a restaurant a few blocks away, so Euan and I could spend some quality time together. This was shortly after we had realized we had feelings for each other, and he felt well enough to hang out for a little while. It was such a wonderful evening, talking and laughing, sharing stories, kidding around. Even the kiss we shared was so beautiful, until discovering afterward that it had started his heart beating so fast that it wouldn't slow down. Although that was definitely not funny at the time, Euan and I both laughed at it long afterward, and as recently as February when we talked about that night. It was an evening we had both hoped to share again one day, and again and again....but it will just never be.

I thought about Euan most of the day today, but I really got a smile (and some tears) when I saw 2 sitings of big, beautiful orange butterflies. The white mothy butterflies have been around a lot lately, but since summer is nearing and end, the bigger and more colorful ones haven't been seen much. So, I just KNEW that today's butterflies were Euan's doing. I knew he had to be telling me that he remembered this day just as well. The 2nd butterfly I saw flew so close to me, I thought it might land on me. I wish it had! I would've bawled my eyes out with surprise, grief, joy, everything I had. But, seeing it up close was awesome, and I'm glad to know that Euan found this day worth remembering just like I had. I'm still wishing so badly he were actually still around to repeat that day once more.

2 comments:

CL said...

(((hugs)))

Jen said...

Hugs to you..I am so happy that you have such great memories of that day..I so wish for you that Euan was still here and you could enjoy more times as those, well not increasing his heart rate..LOL

I know its been really tough on you..Just know I am always here for you, just a call away...Love ya Loca!!