A year ago yesterday, I wrote to Euan asking him how he was doing after we hadn't spoken or written in almost 8 months. We had gotten mad at each other for a few reasons, and made the decision to part ways. In the month before I had finally emailed him again, all I could do was think about how he was doing and if he was ok. I had never stopped caring about him. I had never stopped loving him. I remember writing the email to him with shaky hands, because I was so nervous that he would either be mad that I wrote, or that something might have happened in those lost months of communication to him, and I wouldn't hear from him at all. I pressed the send key, and just had to hope for something.
A year ago today, Euan wrote me back. He was happy to hear from me, and he apologized for what happened months ago. He had some ups and downs with his health in the months we didn't talk, but he was stable at the point when he had written. He said that he felt like he had lost his best friend, and that he had loved me more than he had ever loved anyone else. He still wanted to keep in touch with me, and hoped I wanted the same. And I did.
Today I am extremely thankful for going with my gut last year, and the courage to email Euan and find out how he was doing. If I hadn't, and found out that he had died without me even knowing how he was doing for all that time, I would be in worse agony than I already am. Because then I would've been so upset that we had left things horribly instead of becoming so close again this last year of his life.
Euan, thank you for being the kind person you were, the caring person you were. Of course, you and I were so much alike, that I know I would've done the same for you. I miss you terribly.