Toothache

Saturday I opened a letter in the mail from my dentist. I thought maybe I had a bill of some sort from the unexpected visit I made in January to figure out what was going on with my mouth. Instead, it was a letter stating that I was no longer allowed to go there because of the rise in Medicaid costs. My dentist will not be taking Medicaid patients anymore. THIS SUCKS. I stayed away from the dentist for several years a long time ago because I had such issues with going. I was told about this dentist and his office probably at least 8 years ago, maybe even a little longer. Even then, it took a very long time to trust anyone with doing my teeth. In fact, it wasn't really the dentist himself I had to get used to, it was the hygeniest. I had a couple of them who were incredibly rough on me and made my gums bleed terribly. Now, I admit that when I started going there, I wasn't that great with flossing. And it took me years to even get myself into the habit. But really, my gums were that horrible that when the hygeniest made me rinse, I was spitting out mostly blood?? Come on! Finally, on one of my appts, I got Luann. Although I was very nervous because I didn't know what she'd be like, she put me at ease and did a great job. Yes, I did bleed some, but definitely not as much as previous visits. Over the last several years, Luann has been the ONLY hygeniest I'd let touch my mouth. In fact, it's written in my chart that I can only see her. I've come to trust her very much, and she just does her job so carefully and so well. And she LOVES her job. But now??? I can no longer go there, and that means I have to find a place that will take me and my stupid Medicaid, AND I have to relearn to trust someone else. This is just incredibly upsetting to me!! I know it may not seem like a big deal, but really, I truly hate that I must start over. If I could skip going to the dentist, I would!!

After reading the letter and realizing what I'd have to go through all over again, it also just made me a bit mad and upset at the reason WHY I had to deal with this in the first place. I wouldn't have to need Medicaid and Medicare if I didn't have PH. I totally wish that I could work, and be able to teach in a classroom without worrying about my health. I wish I didn't have to rely on the government for help. Believe me, I'm not a person who is very happy to be getting food stamps. I'd rather be earning my own money, enough money, to buy my own food without relying on anyone else. All these emotions came up over the fact that I just can't be a NORMAL person and earn a living because my health gets in the way. I hardly ever do that, let myself get down because of this stupid disease. But, I know there isn't anything I can do to change the situation. I just need to start calling around to dental offices in this area and figure out who will take Medicaid and who won't. I am really hoping this isn't starting a trend. If I end up losing any of my doctors because they have decided Medicaid is too much to deal with, I'm really going to lose it then!!