At A Loss

I have had PH for 32 years so far. When I was about 26, 27, I found out about the PH website, and I read the boards for a couple weeks before I started posting there. Over the years, I have made many good phriends. I've lost many good phriends, and some phriends have disappeared without knowing what even happened to them. I've learned so much about PH and everything that goes along with it. I've discovered people who have gone through things I've dealt with my entire life. The PH website has been like a godsend to me, and I have been thankful for finding out about it.

Over the years, there have often been rifts and arguments here and there. People disagree, it's bound to happen. Some carry it on a little too long, but then it somehow ends. The past several months have been the worst I've ever seen. It's been awful. I admit to reading almost all of them, and have only joined in a couple times, but for the most part, I've stayed out of alot. The most recent wave of crap going on was this past weekend, although it started a couple weeks ago. I was so disgusted that I didn't read any of it. In fact, I've hardly been reading the boards at all now. It's making me sick that it's going on. I take no sides with any of it, I just wish it would end permanently.

Tonight I found out more news that really just makes me so angry and sad at the same time. I won't really go into details, because it would just cause more hurt feelings, and I don't want that to happen. However, my feelings are deeply shaken over this, and I am really pondering whether to stay within the PH community right now or not.

I did not sign up for this. All I wanted was to be around people who understood me, and who wanted to help others deal with this disease. To bring each other down and rip each other apart because of different opinions, which everyone is entitled to, is not what I came to the PHA for. This is just so upsetting to me. I really need to just figure out what I want to do, because I do need these people, and I'd like to think they need me, too. I just don't need all the bullshit that comes with it. For goodness sakes, we are all dealing with a terrible illness.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Colleen,
I miss you.....ali
11:18 PM
Annette said…
I'm right there with you my phriend. This is just so incredibly upsetting. I have no idea how to handle it or what I should or could do. I think about how helpful everyone was when I first came and how much I was helped when I was trying to decide whether to keep teaching or not. I just don't know what to do. It just completely breaks my heart.
9:55 AM
Anonymous said…
Colleen,
I totally agree..I think I am going to go back and look at the boards and hope it is better. I do not want the B.S. either but I do like to help the newbies and learn things from all the oldies:))
I know that you would be missed, and I also know you bring a lot to the boards..
It is very upsetting that some can cause so much conflict..
Take care..
Love and hugs,
Jen
11:04 AM
paula54 said…
Colleen,
I too hate whats been going on and I hardly read any of it. But you have soooo much to contribute to the boards. Just try to ignore the bad stuff and add good. We need your positive input and experience!
9:33 PM
Tony said…
Hi Colleen,

This is probably a little late but better late then...

Many things will happen in our lives that we do not have control over. We can only control how we react to them. When I read the mess of which you speak, I chose from hence forth, to filter what I read from the boards. As you know, we each have a limited number of breaths to take and I have chosen not to waste any of them on the bickerings of others.
By filtering what I choose to read, I am limiting the amount of negative energy I intake and I help the board by not pushing the rock further down the hill.
As I said in my email, the board should be used to exchange helpful information and support those in need. I hope you continue to use the board to find the support you need and give the support you have become known for.

Hope this helps,

Tony
4:16 PM
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