Saturday, April 18, 2009

Part Of A Club

I got a call today from an unfamiliar number, and I thought perhaps someone was calling me about my upcoming PH support group meeting. So I answer, and the lady on the other end says, "Colleen?" I said it was me, and she said it didn't sound like me on the phone. Well, I am still a bit stuffed up and nasally, so I know I didn't sound like me, either! She told me it was Sherri, from pulmonary rehab. I love Sherri! She is so sweet, and just hilarious! She was calling me to ask if I'd like to be a part of a little group of women who wear oxygen. They get together for lunch once in awhile. I only know a couple people who go, her and another lady from rehab. She also told me several of the other ladies who go as well. She just thought that I'd like to be a part of the group, and I felt so honored to have her ask me. She told me not to really mention it too much in rehab, since there are other women we don't know very well (at least not yet), and they don't want to make them feel left out (at least for now!). So now I feel like I've been included in some kind of secret society, but it is kinda funny! I'm glad that Sherri asked me. It rather made my day!

As much as I hate having PH sometimes, I am amazed at what this disease has shown me or brought to me in my life in the past several years. I feel like I'm one of the lucky ones. I have always had a caring family who has helped me in many ways over the year. I have come to find rather loyal friends, who have stuck by me even when I have had gone through some really tough times. I have found a new way in life for myself, and that is helping others living with PH, whether I do it through the PHA website, or through my PH support group. I have been able to become part of a fun little group joining together at rehab, for all different reasons, and I feel like I belong. I know people worry about me when I'm not there because they tell me the next time they see me. And now, I have an even smaller group to belong to, women who are living their lives with oxygen. I never imagined my life this way. I had dreams of being a teacher for years, since I was little, and having a job, meeting someone special, and maybe even getting married. So far, that imagination was very brief, and my road in life took a major detour. I am constantly amazed at what God has put in my path during this journey. When I think I can't handle something, something else falls into place. I don't know how to explain it. There are times that I am in awe of what has happened in my life, and I know I'll never understand why my path has gone this way, but I am grateful of having any path at all. I don't know, I feel like I'm rambling. It's a lot of emotions to deal with when your life isn't going the way you planned, BUT, other things are happening that seem even better. I am sure that maybe the way I saw my life happening isn't the plan God had for me in the first place. I have to take that into consideration, too!

I am feeling a little better, despite the fact that yesterday I had major dizzy spells every time I laid down for awhile, and then got up. I nearly fell out of bed yesterday morning when I woke up, I was that dizzy. My doctor wanted me to come in yesterday. Ummm, hello, what point of I'M DIZZY did you not understand?? I couldn't possibly drive, and I had no one to take me. So she called in some ear drops, which my mom picked up for me later on. My mom also brought me 4 bags of random grocery stuff. I've been needing groceries so badly, and I really wanted to go yesterday for a few things. But again, DIZZY killed that plan. I was so relieved she brought me some stuff! I don't know what I'd do without my mom, I really don't!! I tried telling her how much I appreciate the things she does for me, but she cut me off and gave me a great big hug, and just said how she hates to see me sick. I just love my mom!!!

I've used the drops several times. I'm still a little lightheaded at some points, but I think I'm getting better. I don't know, I am really hoping to be a lot better very soon!! I'm tired of dealing with this, and it hasn't even been all that long.

1 comment:

Nancy said...

I know what you mean about finding blessings in adversity: I feel that way, too.

Have you ever read "Welcome to Holland" by Emily Perl Kingsley? You can find it here: http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html

I hope your dizziness goes away soon.