Stuff

 It's been a few days. I've been busy but still also fighting the anxiety train. However, after a dear friend asked why I wasn't calling my mental health nurse to talk about what I'm dealing with, I finally did on Tuesday morning. I had to leave a message and wait for a call back. In the meantime, that day I spent keeping pretty busy. I showered, cleaned the bathroom, did yoga, washed my dishes, cooked (I made stuffed peppers!), even painted for a little bit. I had time for a little nap with Grace before making dinner and spending the rest of the evening playing around on the laptop. 

Wednesday morning, I had a med check appt with my gyno. She walked into the exam room, looked at me, and immediately asked what was wrong. I told her about the anxiety issues I was having again. I even told her about the blood work I got done last week to check certain levels that can also be related to anxiety: thyroid (normal), Vitamin B levels (normal), Vitamin D (low!). I told her my new cardiologist told me to talk to my primary doctor about trying to increase my Vitamin D, but when I did send a message in the portal, my doctor said to just leave everything as it was because it wasn't "that low." My number was 29, just one point off the 30-150 range Vitamin D should be in. My gyno said she would never leave a patient that low, especially when I was having the increased anxiety. She said she would be willing to help with that, but I didn't say yes. I just said I was taking my Vitamin D different than I had been before to see if maybe that change would make a difference. But after the appt, while I was driving to a movie (more on that in a second), and after getting a callback from my mental health nurse (while I was driving, of course...I was able to pull over to answer) and her saying it sounded like I needed a different medication, I decided I wanted my gyno to help me! So, I had to call the next morning, and as of right now, I have 50000 IU of Vitamin D waiting to be picked up at the pharmacy. I need to take it once a week for 14 weeks, and then go back down to what I'm already taking since I'll be able to get more Vitamin D naturally from the sun. 

In the meantime, my mental health nurse called me back again yesterday since she couldn't pull up her computer to get the doctor's schedule so I could get an appt with him. I told her about the Vitamin D issue, and that I'd like to see if it helps anything before trying a whole new med, and she said sure, I can call back in a week to see if I need to make an appt. However, I did also tell her I felt I needed to talk to a therapist again, so I will be going back to the same one I've had twice starting next Wednesday. I know some of my anxiety issues are because I think about things too darn much, and I need some help sorting them out. So, that's it for now with my mental health. I'm fighting like hell because dealing with constant anxiety is awful and I just want to feel like myself again!

Now about that movie! I took myself to see I Wanna Dance With Somebody, the story of Whitney Houston's life. I loved it! I was such a fan when I was a young kid,and hearing all the songs she had made me relive my childhood. For example, I was in Girl Scouts for several years. I remember one time we were supposed to have a talent show, and I chose to lip sync (believe me, I can't sing worth anything lol) to Whitney's I Wanna Dance With Somebody. I wore a dark blue sweater of my mom's that was huge on me because I was such a tiny skinny thing back then. I wore a belt around that, and tights. I kind of danced as best I could around the stage while singing to the song, and I enjoyed it! Whitney's life was definitely a hard one, and it's such a sad thing that she could not tackle the demons that eventually took her life. I enjoyed the move a lot, and I am glad I went! When I got home, I danced for exercise and ended up listening to the title song about 5 times before moving on to something else. lol 

Today has been going alright so far. I'm pretty tired. I woke up a bit calmer than I have been most mornings, which was a surprise. I had breakfast and showered before the oxygen guy got here. I want to pick up my meds, but it's a slippery ice-skating rink on the roads outside my house right now, so I guess I'll just have to wait until later or tomorrow. I'm off to make some lunch and then take a nap before trying to exercise! 

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