Daily Ponderings

Well, not really. lol I'm leaving for NC on Sat. We are driving down there, about a 12 hour trip that will probably take longer since we are stopping for pee breaks and such. It's the longest vacation I've been on in years, we'll be gone for 9 days! Usually my "trips" have consisted of overnight stays in Cleveland when I have to go for check-up appointments. Trust me, those are not good times. lol I only hope I don't melt in NC. It's been hot down there, my sis said yesterday it was 99. Ewwww. And with a lung problem, just thinking about that heat makes me get out of breath. lol So, I'm hoping that I won't have a major issue down there, but I'll try to make the best out of it! I just want to have a fun time, and I hope everything goes well with the wedding. So, til next time!

Every day, I visit the PHA's website to read the message boards. The people I have gotten to know through the daily posts almost feel like a second family to me. In all likelihood, I will never meet these people, but I feel like I've known some of them forever. We all share an illness, we all share the ups and downs that come with it, and we all pray for each other. It is a wonderful community. Today when I visited the boards, I was very saddened to read about a woman named Rhonda, who had died suddenly last night. She had been in the hospital with problems with her Flolan, and they had switched her to Remodulin. She was getting stronger the last time her husband posted, so it was a shock to see that he had posted a message last night saying she passed away. My heart is heavy with sadness, since I have chatted with her in chat room sessions, and she seemed like a wonderful person. She had gone through many ups and downs with this disease, but she always came through fighting. ...

Someone's getting more use out of the treadmill than I am!!!

Tomorrow is the 4th of July, but since it fell on a Tuesday this year, many people have had a very long weekend. So it seems like it's been the 4th all weekend! lol I watched fireworks from the casino tonight from the apartment upstairs. It was nice to see them from up there, and not have to go down to the chaos and face crowds of people. I also got a double feature: the Canadian fireworks began about 15 minutes after ours, and I got to see both! It was nice, I just love the fireworks, I have since I was a little kid! I don't really have anything planned for tomorrow. Usually, for the past few years, my family has gone to Beaver Island with Mandy's in-laws. But this year, since they are having a big family reunion some time this month, they didn't make plans to go. So I think it's going to be another regular day for me, really. I'll probably just have dinner with my parents, at least I hope that I will. lol This July 4th, I will think of all the troops fighting ...

Hailey's birthday party was yesterday afternoon. Her cake was awesome! I couldn't get over how incredibly cute it was. The little duck is the one she got to play with, and boy did she destroy it! It was all over her hands, her face, and she even got it on her mommy. lol It was fun watching her!

This time last year, I was in a hospital waiting for the birth of a beautiful little baby girl, my niece. She took her sweet old time to arrive, not showing up until around 6:30pm. I just can't believe that a year has gone by, though. She has grown so much, and she's now showing a little personality. She's even started temper tantrums. lol I never knew I could love someone as much as I love this little girl! So Happy Birthday to my little Hailey! May you continue to grow into a wonderful little person, and continue to bring joy to our hearts!

My weekend was pretty nice, albeit tiring. I went out for drinks with Dee on Friday night, and didn't get home until 2am. And I had to be up to be ready for shopping by 9:30am the next morning with Mandy and my mom. I seriously thought that I would cancel, since I was so tired from the night before, but somehow I managed. It was a long morning and afternoon, but it was fun. I got home in time to rest a bit before going to The Tragically Hip concert. That was an interesting time. The band was good, although they played alot of songs that were new. Some were good, some were not. Besides that, we had our seats on the lawn, and I think I ended up "smoking" 14 packs of cigarettes and doing about 10 joints. It was just disgusting, and I think I will think twice about going to a concert again with seating on the lawn. Not to mention that the smell was about 10x worse since I wore my oxygen the whole time. UGH. Today, I slept in until 11am. I haven't done that in forever, but...

I've been busy doing little things here and there for the past several days. Sometimes I just think that I am too lazy to write in my journal. Well, I am, but there are many times I just forget! I've been trying to work on my jewelry website. I finally got alot of pictures up, thanks to what my sister took, and thanks to my friend giving me her digital camera. The process of putting them up takes forever, though! I think it's a combination of my computer being connected to the internet via phone (boohoo!), and the website just working ever so slowly! I get so frustrated with it sometimes, that I just end up working on it a little bit at a time. But the last major step is figuring out how to allow people to order. I can either just have them send me an email with specific information that I list on the site, or I can try to do an order form type thing that I need to play around with. Another question is payment. I don't think I want to get into credit cards, but I gu...

I've been a miserable chicky the past several days. My allergies are driving me nuts. And sadly, I have come to admit that I do actually have allergies. I grew up without them, always feeling bad for my sisters and my dad when spring and summer came around because I knew they were feeling horrible. In the past few years, I've developed allergies to something in the air. To what exactly, I'm not sure, but it's definitely not a cold. The sad thing is, I can't take much to help relieve the symptoms. I'm not allowed to take a decongestant, and that just makes me want to cry! I emailed my PH specialist tonight, to ask if there is anything I can try to take. I have just felt so very tired and sniffly, and itchy the past few days. There has to be something out there I can take!! I went to a town called Lewiston yesterday with my good friend, Renee. It's only about 15 minutes from the Falls. We browsed some of the shops, and enjoyed some yummy slushies outside a c...

It's hot. Now I've never usually been the one to complain about heat. I live for it, since I'm always so gosh darn cold, even when wearing layers to keep warm! But yesterday was outright unbearable, and I think it was mostly because I was celebrating Memorial Day at a house that didn't have the A/C on, or any sort of fan going. Being outside actually felt better than being inside. Plus, there was a pool set up for the kids, so I walked around in it a couple times. It felt rather refreshing, and made me contemplate getting one for myself. lol Today is just as hot, but for some reason, I'm doing much better. Maybe it's because there is more circulation of air in here, and I have a couple fans blowing. It's 84 in the house, but I'm comfy. Now does that make sense?? For most people, no. But for me, yes! lol I'm going out for dinner tonight with a lady I used to work with at Niagara University . I call her Mom #2. She calls me Daughter #2. Even after ...

I had a great day today! I went over to Mandy's house for the afternoon, and my heart sang as soon as I walked in the door and saw my beautiful niece! Of course, I loved seeing Mandy, too! :) We spent the time hanging out in the sun, playing inside, and watching a Baby Einstein video. I also got my first experience of hearing Hailey just completely laugh. There is nothing in this world that sings to my soul more than hearing a child laugh, and when it is a baby, oooooh I just LOVE it! I was making one of her stuffed animals peek around the corner, and then I said "BOO!" and it just made her bust out laughing! It was soooo adorable! I realize more and more how much I just love that little baby. :) I am sooooooooooooo very very happy with America's choice for the next American Idol!! Taylor Hicks is just one entertaining person, and he deserved to win it this year. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! I have to say, I had such a hard time voting for him last night! The phone li...

I went to Kohl's today with my mom, to browse around and see if we could find anything good. Well, I ended up buying two sweaters off the clearance rack for next winter. I was sooooo excited when I was in the checkout to find what the final cost of each of them were! They were: $1.26 each. $1.26. Whoooooooo hoooooooo!!!! I was so happy that I made my mom and the cashier lady laugh! Hey, can't beat a good bargain like that!!! Another bargain deal for me came tonight when I finally looked through a box of clothes given to me by my friend's hubby's cousin. She was a skinny minnie like me for a while, but apparently she's put on a little weight. So as I was sifting through the clothes, I came across several pairs of shorts!!! I had just been looking for new shorts yesterday while shopping, and even today. I didn't want to spend a ton of money, so I didn't get anything. And now have five "new" pairs of shorts, so I don't need to spend any ...

First of all, Happy Mother's Day to all you moms and grandmas out there! I wish the very best to you, and I hope you had a wonderful day! I'd like to take this time to write a little something to my mom. I know she doesn't read my blog, but I wanted to write it anyway. :) Dear Mom, Thank you. Thank you for all the things you've done for me in my 3o years of life so far. Thank you for being there for me at all my doctor's appointments since I've been a baby. There have been a gazillion of them, I'm sure! And to know that you still want to go to my appointments even now means so much to me. I know I have lived with PH for all this time, but it still scares me sometimes. Not knowing what test results will reveal when I go to my doctors sometimes really gets me nervous, but knowing that you are there no matter what gives me some relief. I thank you for that. Thank you for all the support you've given me in the past several years, since I had to quit my j...

I have gotten so much done today, and I'm feeling damn proud of myself. Granted, it's not everything I had on my list of things to do, but I have to realize that I can't always accomplish everything on my list. I've done alot of physical things, however, and although I'm a little tired right now, there have been times when I'd be passed out by now if I had done what I've done! I guess I'm having a good day because the weather is nicer, and it's not so cold. Cold seems to effect how I feel, and how I'm able to do things. But I've done 2 loads of laundry, hung them up outside, changed the bedding, and vacuumed 2 rooms. I admit, the vacuuming is something I really should have passed on. It made me so tired, and that's why I'm taking a nap in a few minutes. But it soooooo needed to be done. The living room looked like the cat blew up, there was so much fur on the rug. I know, gross, but what can I say? I'm technically not supposed t...

My weekend was nice. I went to the movies Saturday night with Mo and Dee. It was nice to see Mo, and I gave her a long hug when she got to the theater. She seemed to be upbeat, although I am most definitely sure she is still going through an emotional rollercoaster. It'll take time to heal, but she'll be ok. We saw Akeelah the Bee, and it was a very good movie! We laughed at some of the words the kids had to spell. I said near the end that I felt very dumb watching it. Mo said she was sure half the audience felt that way! lol Afterward we went to Perkins for something to eat, and just chatted. The only reference Mo made to anything regarding her called-off wedding was that she wears her wedding ring sometimes, just not on her left finger. I didn't see it on that night, but it kind of made me sad. I don't know how I could wear it if that happened to me. I'd have to leave it in a box somewhere for a long time before I could think of having it on. But, that...

This week seemed to have gone by alot quicker than last week. Last week just dragged. I kept busy with things, but it just seemed like time was going by slower than molasses. Now suddenly, before I knew it, a whole other week has passed! I'm feeling better than last week, emotionally. I'm not worrying about things too much. I wouldn't say I'm at peace, but I feel calmer on the inside. I'm glad for that, because for a couple days, I really thought I was going to have a breakdown physically. I can't get myself stressed out like I did, it's definitely not good for my health! I've started working on a website for my jewelry. I finally decided that I had to just start it, and then maybe my sister will just put the pictures of my stuff on for me. It's coming along, and I like it so far! Right now, I'm just showing examples of what I make. If someone wants to order something, I will have instructions on how to do so. Since I only make one of something...

The past several days, I haven't felt like myself. While I do laugh and joke with my family and friends, either in person or on the phone, a couple things have been bothering me lately. My father is one of them, because of his non-chalant attitude about his prostate cancer that I can't understand. I'm trying to just "let go" of my worries about it, since there isn't much that I can do but pray that he actually does do something about it after July (he won't do anything until after my sister's wedding, July 29th). I think the stress of the whole situation is really getting to me, and I just can't let that happen. My health will start to deteriorate if I constantly worry about him right now. Another sort of sadness started on Sunday night. I was supposed to be going to a good friend's wedding this coming Saturday. My friends, my sisters, and I have been looking forward to it for months. Not to mention my friend, who just last Thursday was telling...

My parents and I were out on the Boulevard today, picking up bridesmaid dresses, getting my dad's outfit for Lisa's wedding, and eating at Outback (boy was that tasty!). On the way home, we stopped at Mandy's house to drop off her dress, and her in-laws were visiting. We went upstairs to see Hailey and Mandy, and Ron's mom. Hailey was on the floor with Beverly (Ron's mom), and my mom and I said hi to her. When I said "Hi Hailey," she turned around to look at me, gave me this huge smile, and immediately left Beverly to crawl over to me! I just thought that was the cutest thing! She did that the other day when I stopped by to drop something off. She was in the middle of the backyard on a blanket, and when she saw me, she started smiling and crawling toward me. I guess she must really love her Aunt Colleen! :-D