Saturday, May 28, 2005

Housemate Wanted, Apply Within

Well, it's official. Mandy and Ron have bought a house. They put a bid in this morning, and it was accepted. They even met the owners, who were just delighted to sell the house to a young couple just starting out. Especially since a baby is due right around the corner!!

I'm happy for my sis and BIL, but I'm also sad. I'm losing my housemates. I'm going to miss the fact that I could just go upstairs and say hi. I'll miss hearing their dog run around, even when it did drive me nuts sometimes. I'll just miss knowing that they are there.

Closing on the house won't be until the end of July, but still, I'm going to have to make some adjustments before they are gone. For instance, and this just hurts the most, I HAVE TO GO BACK TO USING A PHONE LINE CONNECTION FOR THE INTERNET!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Anyone need to rent an apartment? Anyone?

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OMG! I could never go back to dial up. I feel your pain. Comment from luvmort - 5/31/05 2:30 PM

Friday, May 27, 2005

AOL Irritates Me!!

Perhaps it's a little risque having that title, but it's the gosh darn truth!! Why am I irritated, you wonder? Well, I shall tell you!!

So, I've been a part of AOL's Ask A Teacher program for almost 5 years now. It was a tutoring program that featured live tutoring rooms and message boards for students in grades K-12, even college students. I spent almost all those years as a tutor for the live rooms, and I thought it was great! However, big changes began happening since last fall. On Sept. 17th, AOL closed the live rooms "temporarily" to update. They told us we could have a few weeks off until they got a "new and improved" program up and running. Well, almost 2 months later, we got an entirely different program.....without the rooms!! Well, that sent everyone into a tizzy. We ventured into a "live message board" program which never felt live at all. Just as I was getting used to this, I get email today stating that all Community Leader programs were being cancelled. Dropped. No more. So that means, while we can still probably answer message board questions, we must do so under our regular screen names. This bites big time!!

While this is frustrating, what is even more frustrating is that we no longer get free AOL. Yes, that's right. While volunteering for this program, we got free AOL. Because of that, I have not budgeted for internet service in 5 years. They are allowing us one more year of free service, and then we have to pay for it. And considering the price of AOL, there is absolutely NO WAY I can afford it! How much can my already stretched budget go?? I'm gonna have to find the cheapest internet service possible, or just go use the library to check mail. I know, it's a year away, but I must think about these things!!

Ugh, I'm really ticked off right now!! I need to eat something bad for me. Maybe a Klondike bar would be good right about now. Probably, considering I haven't had dinner.



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Boy, does that suck. Comment from luvmort - 5/31/05 1:15 PM

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Hmmmm....

I just wanted to see Euan's profile again, so I went onto Yahoo. He's deleted it. Hmmmm.

Not that I care.

Ok, I'm lying. I do care. I miss talking to him. I miss not knowing how he's doing, or what he's up to. I just MISS HIM, and I haven't even met him yet.

With that being said, I haven't tried to contact him in the past couple weeks. He's just been in the back of my mind.

*sigh*

The Invisible Stop Sign

I live in a house that's on the corner of the street. I love sitting on my porch watching traffic going by on my street and the cross street. My street has stop signs, the cross street doesn't. So, it's not a 4-way stop, only two. My favorite thing to do is watch how many people go down the cross street, and stop at the "invisible stop sign." And look both ways. And then continue to go their merry way. It's almost caused a few accidents over the years. Someone stops at the real stop sign, and another person stops at the "invisible stop sign." Both parties get confused on who is supposed to go and so they both inch up a little, and then stop because the other one inched. It's quite hysterical!

Ok, so call me sad because I sit on my porch watching people stop at signs that just aren't there. It's ok, maybe I'm "not there" either. rofl!!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Boooooo Hissssss!!

Well, this is my last entry about American Idol until next season. I'm disappointed that Carrie won tonight. But hey, whatever. That's how I feel about her. Bo, on the other hand, I can't wait until his CD comes out!! I'll definitely by that! He rocks!!

I actually thought the show was pretty decent tonight, and not too drawn out. The hilarious bits they had about contestants who had tried out made me laugh. And the finale at the end before the results was just great!! So, all in all, the show wasn't bad. The end sucked though. Oh well!

I am hoping I'll be able to see the show next year. For the past few weeks, Dish Network has been scrolling a message at the top of the screen saying their contract with Fox was ending May 31, 2005. They are trying to negotiate a new one, but can't promise anything. They actually suggested their subscribers to call either their local cable company or Direct TV if we want Fox. How nice of them. I hope they fix it. I want Fox, and I really don't think my landlords will let me put another dish on the house if I have to switch to Direct TV just to watch American Idol!! LOL

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dude- your landlords are your parents - just get a tear in your eye :p I was really ok with the end. I dont know why. I think that the chick with the big aol /idol blog is right. All those people who would have voted for Vonzell, voted on last nights performance. And sadly last night, Carrie was better. The outcome doesnt matter anyway- you and I both know there will be Bo music out shortly!! Woohooooo Comment from maidothemist - 5/26/05 12:29 AM

Life Stinks Sometimes

I get alot of support in dealing with PH on the PH website I go to quite a bit. Some of us there have decided to have PH buddies, and we have exchanged email and phone numbers. We email each other to say hi, but also to make sure we're doing ok, especially if someone hasn't posted on the message boards in a while. I have a PH buddy in Alabama, and today she emailed me to say her husband is leaving her. Apparently there is someone else in the picture. Not only is he leaving her, he is leaving their 2 children. I am heartbroken for her. It's bad enough that we deal with this disease, but now she has to deal with a cheating husband who wants to leave her. On top of all this, she may be having a lung transplant soon. It just makes me sad, and she will definitely be in my prayers. I hope she will be strong in dealing with this bad news. I also truly hope her health isn't compromised by this. Stress can be horrible for anyone, but PHers really have a hard time with it. I just hope she can deal well with all of this.

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Oh Colleen- I am the last one who can judge on someones behavior- but I hope thingsa arent too rocky for her. And I see Mort drops by :) I love him! Comment from maidothemist - 5/26/05 12:30 AM

Stress is probably the worst thing for anyone dealing with illness. Sending good thoughts your way. Comment from luvmort - 5/25/05 8:28 PM

Ok, I Got Through!!

After finally getting through a lot once the clock struck midnight, I ended up voting for Bo 54 times!! I'm not kidding! I would still have voted if it weren't for the fact that my phone died on me and shut itself off. lol I hope it helps Bo, I want him to win!!! We shall see tomorrow......we shall see. lol

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Bo has my vote, too. I didn't watch since I was at dinner last evening but, I don't think there's even a chance for Carrie-Benet Underpants to win against him. I am adding you to my alerts. Comment from luvmort - 5/25/05 12:23 PM

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

American Idol

Ugh, I can't get through to vote for Bo!!! Ok, I did get through once. But I want to get through more!! Oy!!

Monday, May 23, 2005

My Weekend

My weekend was nice, although I wish the weather was a lot better. Ok, I take that back. Sunday was the only day that was kinda blah, but Friday and Saturday were nice! Friday, I gallavanted (hey, I used a big word!) with my sister to several stores. I bought (charged ) two very cute tops at Old Navy, since she dragged me in there to look for khakis. Ok, I could have just looked and not bought, but they were too cute!! I can't help that I didn't have the cash to pay for them. lol Then we went to lunch at Tim Horton's, yum! It was a nice afternoon with my Joanie.

Saturday evening, I went out to dinner with my two best friends. They are more like sisters to me! Eve was in town, so it was a time to go out! We went to a place in Lewiston called The Brickyard, and it was quite tasty! We even had dessert....I had pecan pie, which I LOVE!! I have to say, though, it wasn't as good as the pecan pies I make around the holidays. After dinner, we went down near the water and hung out for a while, chatting about stuff. I wish Eve would move home. I really wish it would happen soon! *sigh*

After getting home, I decided to order Closer on pay-per-view. All I have to say, is that it was interesting. I didn't know what to make of it. It was horrible, and I didn't hate it. I just, I don't know...thought it was odd. And I don't understand how Natalie Portman got an Emmy for her part. Not that she stunk, I just didn't know why she got it!!

Sunday, I went to church. I was expecting to see Eve and her son, Brandon (my godson) later on, but she never called. That was ok anyway, since I was so tired anyway. When I finally made myself lay down for a while, I woke up almost 3 hours later! Needless to say, I didn't do much yesterday.

Ok, wait, I did. I have discovered how to make earrings (I made a lovely pair on Saturday, to go with my homemade necklace and bracelet set), and yesterday, I played around with a different way to make a necklace. I made two of them. And I'm sooooo hooked!! I am becoming a jewelry-making addict. I just need to figure out where to sell my stuff! lol

I'm going out today to buy more stuff to make earrings. So, I suppose I should get a move on. I'm still in pjs! Have a great day, everyone!

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you need to make a home page and sell your stuff here Comment from maidothemist - 5/24/05 9:42 PM

Thursday, May 19, 2005

A Big Decision

For those of you who do not know me, I'm going to state some facts before I describe what my BIG DECISION will be. For those of you who do know me, these facts will help you understand things, too. lol Here goes!

*I have pulmonary hypertension, PH for short. It is a rare lung condition, in which the blood vessels in the lungs constrict, making it very hard to deal with every day life. It's almost like having high blood pressure, only it's in the lungs. There is no cure YET, only several different types of medicine that can be used to help treat PH.

*I have had PH since I was a baby, along with congenital heart disease. I have two holes in my heart. In all honesty, I grew up going to the cardiologist about my heart, and not too much about the PH because there wasn't much they could do for the PH. Even today, they are learning so much new stuff about PH than they did years before!

*In April 2000, I had to quit my teaching job. I was doing very badly health-wise. A year later, I started going to the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. At first, I was going to discuss possible lung transplant surgery. After a couple more visits, and a yes to a transplant, they put me on a new medicine. It was only out in the public for a year. I started on October 12, 2003. After a while, I began noticing an incredible difference in how I was feeling. Transplant talk was pushed to the back burner. Yay!

*There is an incredible association for people with PH. It's called Pulmonary Hypertension Association. It is wonderful, and I am on there at least two or three times a day checking the message boards. I feel like it's a community, only over the internet. I'm not sure I'll ever meet any of the people I chat with. But at least I know there are others out there like me, going through the same crap. I just wish I knew if there was one here locally. Locally would be in the Buffalo, NY area.

*My medicine is delivered to me by FedEx once a month. The pharmaceutical company that I go through is called Accredo Therapeutics. They call once a month to do my refill order, and ask if I have any questions for them. This past month, I did. I asked if there were any support groups in my area of Buffalo, NY. The nice man told me he would have the community advocate call me, because she wasn't available. I said ok!

*Today, I get a call from the very nice community advocate lady for my area. She tells me that, unfortunately, the closest support groups in NY for me are in Syracuse, Albany and Long Island. These are no casual trips, people. Some of them would be quite a drive. Although it would be worth it, I'm hesitant.

*The nice advocate lady suggests starting a support group in Buffalo. She tells me there are a LOT of people with PH in Buffalo, and how nice it would be if someone started a group here! She said I'd get a lot of help from her, and from the PHA people. They even have support group starter kits. I tell her that I'll think about it.

*So now I am thinking about starting a support group. The idea is so appealing, yet so scary to me. I do not start things up. I know I was a teacher for a few years, but that was dealing with KIDS. These would be ADULTS. Adults can be scary!! lol I know I would be getting a lot of help with this. It is intriguing. I need to think about it though.

I told my mom that for a while now, I have felt that I'm not doing anything with my life. What am I supposed to be here for? My original plan backfired on me, and it was devastating. Of course, I have my health, and I'm a lot better than I was five years ago. But what am I supposed to be doing? I almost feel like I'm wasting time. That being said, I told my mom that maybe this support group thing is just what I need to do. I told her that I'm going to pray about it. I'll call the PHA, and ask for the starter kit packet, if only to just look at it right now. And then I can decide if I want to start a support group or not.

I almost think God might have already told me the answer.

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I was going to say... ask for the kit and decide from there... looks like you are ahead of me Comment from maidothemist - 5/19/05 10:53 PM

Happy Birthday, Sistore!

I'd like to wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sister, Lisa!! I know she doesn't read my blog, but I love her anyway!! I already called her this morning and sang birthday greetings to her. I hope I don't break her eardrums. LOL Can't wait until she comes home, when we'll be aunties!! Yaaaaaaaaay!!
Love you much, sistore! Miss you!! XXXOOO

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Happy Birthday Lisa! Comment from maidothemist - 5/19/05 10:52 PM

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

A Dilemma

I'm in love with spider plants. I have always liked the look of them, especially because they can just grow so big, mass produce babies, and you can plant their offspring or just throw them out.

So, call me crazy, but I may have to get rid of one of mine, and it's making me sad.

It wouldn't be so bad, if I hadn't had the plant for over 6 years now. You see, this plant was given to me as a baby itself when I was working at Headstart. The dear teacher across the hall from me gave me this baby spider plant as a little something for my apartment that I had just moved into. This teacher is the one and only Maidothemist! Sue, can you believe I still have this plant?? I think it's produced at least 200 offspring, and I'm not even kidding!! Unfortunately, I only have 2 other really good places to hang more plants, and they are currently occupied by 2 babies from the original Momma Spiderplant. And boy, did those suckers grow already!

So, why am I sad? Ok. Poor Momma Spiderplant is starting to wear thin. It looks like it has seen better days. It's not as lively as it used to be, and not growing as many kids, either. It does currently have one new shoot protruding up into the ceiling, but who knows what it will produce. I am wondering if I should just....get rid of it. *gulp* It's that time of year when I have to re-pot the plants, and I just don't know if it's worth it to try and save Momma Spiderplant. At the same time....that plant has lasted me 6 years so far!! I KEPT A PLANT ALIVE FOR 6 YEARS!!!!!????

I am going to think on this for a bit. Because quite frankly, I don't have the energy to re-pot anything right now. Well, I don't mean right now as in, right this minute. It's almost midnight for goodness sake's, I'm not about to give some plants some new dirt outside in the dark. That's just crazy talk! Speaking of dirt....I have to go out and buy some potting soil. Another reason why I'm not doing anything about the plants yet.
Anyhow, I shall post what I do about my dilemma when I finally decide. It might be a while. I don't get motivated when it comes to dirt, I hate gardening! lol

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OMG dont throw it away! If you decide you dont want to do the work give it to me and let me do it. I'm willing to give it a shot! That was my last year teaching ya know. And probably the last time I HAD a plant. That plant is as old as Aaron. ~Sooz Comment from maidothemist - 5/19/05 12:12 AM

American Idol

Bo Bice is MY American Idol!! The dude rocked it tonight. The second song he sang gave me chills! What a brave soul to do a solo without a band. He is awesome!

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omg a capella! Can you believe it? Comment from maidothemist - 5/18/05 11:19 PM

Today's Wanderings

Today wasn't too bad. It took me a while to get myself moving, but what else is new. lol I'm amazed that afer five years of not working, I am not still sleeping in late and doing absolutely nothing. This is not the case however! I go to bed really late some nights, and still manage to awaken at 9am. Not a bad deal, I think!

Anyhoo, after getting ready for the day (dressed and all that jazz), I called my mom to see if she needed to go out anywhere. She said yes, however, she had just gotten out of the shower, and she'd be a while. Well, I thought this was ok. Even though I was personally ready, I still had to do a few things to go out adventuring. I had to write a couple bills, put together my sister's birthday package (gosh, those anklets I made better fit her, I'll throw a fit if they don't! lol), and make sure I remembered a new tank of oxygen. No need for passing out in the middle of a store without it. Ok, so that's never happened before, but why take the chance?

I call my mom back, and is she ready? Noooooooooo. I go over there anyway, and after another half hour, we're on the road! Yay!! We go a bunch of places: post office, credit union (gotta put the money in the bank to cover the credit card bill I just mailed! no bouncing here! lol), Aldi's, Joann Fabrics, and then Blackwinds. I see my good friend Mo's car at Blackwinds. I think, uh oh! She can't possibly be buying another betta! Lo and behold, she was!! I have turned her into a betta addict! Go me! LOL

After talking for a while, my mom and I adventure to the cemetary, to see if any of the tulips we planted last year at my grandpa's grave came up. They came up, with no flower, however. Darn it all! My mom suggests that perhaps we should plant something else for next year. Some spider plant-looking thing was growing, and we couldn't figure out what the heck it was. Oh well, it looked nice! lol And that ended my outing for the day.
I talked to my sister when she came home tonight. I asked how her doctor's appointment went yesterday. It was her last one before she actually has the baby! She said the baby's head is down, and that she will be having a natural birth. Good news! I am so excited!! I can't wait for little Hailey Morgan to be born. And I sure hope that when Mandy has the baby, it will STILL be a girl like the sonogram predicted. However, you never know about these things! lol

Well, now that my friend, Renee, and I played around with superbuddies on AOL for about 40 minutes, I'm ready to hit the hay. lol Hope everyone in J-Land had a good day!

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ok i thought I had my last appt before soph was born... then my last appt before soph was born.. then my last appt before soph was born.. then... well-- you get the idea Comment from maidothemist - 5/18/05 11:19 PM

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

New Readers...Or Just Passing Through!

Wow! Enter Judi's "May's Artsy Essay Contest", and get a bunch of new readers! lol I'd like to take this time to give a shout out to the newcomers I've had since last night. Thanks for taking the time to stop by my journal, and leaving a comment! It's so nice to hear from my regular readers, and now some newer ones! Hopefully, that is IF I didn't bore you to death or scare you off. LOL Hope to hear from ya'll soon, and I'll be stopping by your journals (if you have one)! XXXOOO

Monday, May 16, 2005

My New Toy!!

How stinkin' cute can you get???? I had seen pics of this Darth Tater about 6 months ago, as a new toy coming out in honor of the last Star Wars movie. I just HAD to have him!! I almost resorted to bidding on one on Ebay (do you know how much they are asking for them on there???? It's crazy!!), but luckily found him in Toys R Us on Sunday!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! He is now sitting in his box on the chair behind me. I want to open him up and play, but he might be worth money some day, so there he sits!! lol My new little toy!! :-D

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omg colleeen- he is so stinkin cute.. i am on my way over to play...Comment from maidothemist - 5/18/05 11:16 PM

But doesn't he make you think of Toy Story and Toy Story 2?? how sad he would be if he just sat in the box for the rest of his life? LOL TAKE HIM OUT and play with him!! " ) Comment from hunybea4him - 5/17/05 1:55 AM

i sit here as a man who has never seen any STAR WARS flims nor ET nor HARRY POTTERs nor LORD OF THE RING s ?All my kids have and grandkids too.A heady confession tae make eh? bang goes my street cred! lol Even in 1977 i wasnt swept away by the publicity although ive always had the sci- fi bug ala phillip dick ray badbury etc etc and enjoyed 2001 and pix o that ilk. Anyways frankie ere m8 and iam a new tae this jornal stuff and iam making a few contacts. looking forward tae reading more of your stuff .ty colleen Comment from colerainebhoy44 - 5/17/05 12:49 AM

Oh!!!! Adorable!!! :-D I HAVE to have one now. LOL Thanks for the preview. :) Comment from anglswinks - 5/17/05 12:04 AM

May's Artsy Essay Contest

Dearest Judi has given a list of words that we must use.
They are for May’s Artsy Essay contest,
But there are some that have me confused.

Haberdashery, I must admit, was not the place I thought.
It is a place where men’s clothes lie,
And not where hats can be bought.

A neophyte, I had considered, was a baby bug indeed.
Darn it all, wouldn’t you know?
It is a new beginner, not an insect in a weed.

Palatial was a word I thought was meant to describe hunger.
However, this is not the case,
It describes a magnificent palace of wonder.

How embarrassed was I to know, and perhaps you are, too.
A bassoon is a woodwind instrument,
And not a monkey in the zoo.

I got excited, a little teary when I saw arduous on the list.
I shortly came to realize,
It did not mean lovers going for a kiss.

Titter made me think real hard, and I thought it was a bird.
But after I had looked it up,
I realized I again had come up with the wrong word.

That is it. I cannot take another malapropism.
Perhaps what I shall now do,
Is move on to a euphemism!

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Very clever...and funny....Great piece.. I'm having as much fun reading everyone elses entries than I did writing my own!!http://journals.aol.com/galadriel92000/AFishOutofWater/entries/371Marie in TN Comment from galadriel92000 - 5/22/05 1:00 AM

This poem was loads of fun. Thanks. Paulette Comment from peppypioneer - 5/21/05 7:14 PM

I LOVE THIS! How creative and entertaining!! Mrs. L Comment from jevanslink - 5/20/05 2:16 PM

Very inventive, great entry....Sandi Comment from sdoscher458 - 5/17/05 9:54 PM

I love it. :-)~Lauriehttp://journals.aol.com/heartsingr/LauriesMusings/ Comment from heartsingr - 5/17/05 3:39 PM

great entry. thanks for defining some of those HARD words for us. I also had a bit of a debate with my mom and husband about what a haberdashery was. One said a place for men's hats another said for men's clothes.. the I got in the dictonary some kind of store but it wasn't specific. Comment from hunybea4him - 5/17/05 1:52 AM

Just awesome, my friend!! You did great! I am SO proud of you. :-D Comment from anglswinks - 5/17/05 12:08 AM

A ton o' fun! Were you confused by the Nigel Tufnel interview from This Is Spinal Tap? "What size are you?""Do you wear black?"-Paulhttp://journals.aol.ca/plittle/AuroraWalkingVacation/ Comment from plittle - 5/16/05 11:20 PM

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! Comment from maidothemist - 5/16/05 10:48 PM

this is great!! Debra Comment from dkb11161970 - 5/16/05 10:26 PM

This was wonderful! Very fresh and I LOVED it! Can't wait to read more of your journal!¬JaimeJaimeChase.com Comment from chasenkids - 5/16/05 10:07 PM

Oh Colleen, this is perfectly delightful!!!!!! Very well done and cheers to you, you brightened my day, for a moment or two!!!!! Great entry!!! judi :) Comment from judithheartsong - 5/16/05 9:49 PM

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Nice 'Do!

I spent most of my day at the salon today. Literally! I FINALLY got my hair done, after about 7 months! It soo needed to be dyed and highlighted again. lol And it looks awesome!! Whoooo hoooo!! :-D

My poor pregnant sister cut her finger at work today. Her hubby called me to ask if I could feed their dog, and he said they were at the hospital. Alarms went off at first in my head, since she is due pretty soon!! However, he said she sliced her thumb while cutting something, and they brought her to Sister's Hospital for stitches. By the time they got home, it was almost 9pm! I gave her a big hug when she got in! She was so exhausted and starving! Poor girl!

I hung out with Dee tonight. We had thought about going out, but it was too cold and yucky! I had a hard enough time getting warm in my own apartment. So she brought over Chocolat, which is a very cute movie! It was a nice time just relaxing!

Tomorrow is girls night at Mo's. That should be a lot of fun! I'm looking forward to hanging out with my peeps! lol
Goodnight for now, J-land! :-D

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Ooh. I love that movie! One of my favorites.~Lauriehttp://journals.aol.com/heartsingr/LauriesMusings/ Comment from heartsingr - 5/17/05 3:42 PM

Hi Colleen!Sorry it has taken me so long to comment on your journal but it's been so long since I have been here...just haven't been in the journaling mood, don't know why? How are you doing? Have you heard from Euan yet? Take some new pics with your new hairdo...i am sure you look GREAT! Take care,~Kristin Comment from bkuzimthemommy - 5/16/05 3:07 AM

ooh thats got my johnny in it doesnt it?? I need to see that Comment from maidothemist - 5/14/05 10:11 PM

Friday, May 13, 2005

What The Heck?

I'm not sure what to make of this, but I thought I'd type out my frustrations anyway. I haven't talked to Euan in almost 3 weeks, since we made tentative plans to meet each other. Unfortunately, the day we picked didn't really work for him, and he asked about meeting the weekend I was supposed to be away at my grandma's house. Since emailing him back that I couldn't meet that weekend, and asking about what other dates are good for him, I haven't heard anything from him. I know he is working on a project for a book/DVD that he'd like to be out by October. But I've emailed him a few times since, and I've got no response. Well, ok, if he's that busy, that's ok. I'll just let it go.

So tonight, I decided to look at his profile again on Yahoo. What gets to me is that he has updated it very recently, adding more pictures of himself and editing his information. I don't know whether to be offended or not. We both made it very clear to each other that we wanted to meet, and that we both get along very well. He doesn't have time to email me, but he can update his profile? I just don't understand it. Maybe he just doesn't want something between us. Maybe he doesn't really want to meet anymore. It's just disappointing to me, I guess. I'm not holding out hopes for him anymore. I won't email him for a while, and I won't try calling him. I wish him the best of luck finding someone who responds to his personal.

I, on the other hand, have hidden my personal for a while. I'm tired of trying.

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DUDE- how many times do I have to tell you to stop trying...Comment from maidothemist - 5/14/05 10:10 PM

I am SO sorry, my friend! :( I know it is very frustrating, and a little maddening too! I don't know what to make of this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. And, I will go to his house, and kick his butt! :) Comment from anglswinks - 5/13/05 5:05 PM

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Cleveland Trip

I got back from my trip to the Cleveland Clinic late this afternoon. I just feel so exhausted because it's a long trip for just 2 days! Well, just a lot of driving. Anyhow, my appointments went well. Tuesday was the cardiologist. He told me my heart looked good, and that if I were to have a transplant, my heart was still in good shape to just be repaired and not replaced. That's comforting to know, that I wouldn't need a heart if it were to ever happen. I also learned something new, the reason why my PH is so different from others. It basically boils down to the fact that because I have 2 holes in my heart, the blood can shunt (or divert) back and forth to help release pressure in my lungs. The way my PH specialist explained it, I'm actually at an advantage over people who develop PH with normal hearts. So, in a way, I'm lucky that I do have the holes! And, I now totally understand why I could not just have the holes closed without doing anything about my lungs. It would make the problem much worse. Ding ding ding! Light bulb going on in my head!!

This morning was my walking test, and I have to say I'm petrified every time I have to do it. I'm always so scared that I won't be able to finish, that I'll do horrible, that my symptoms will come back even worse than before. So, waiting to do the test can be awful for me! I was so nervous waiting, but it ended up being for nothing. My walk was actually a little better than the last time!! Yay! I walked just a bit farther, and I wasn't horribly out of breath! I did, however, scare the tech who did the walk with me. Apparently she was new, and hadn't done a walk with someone who had PH like I have PH. She said to me that she almost stopped me while walking because my oxygen levels dropped so low. Which is NORMAL for me. Anywhow, my PH doctor had a good laugh about it....actually, almost the entire appointment with him was a ball of laughs! It's so good to have a doctor that I really like, and who is funny!

So that was pretty much my trip. I'm glad it's over, at least for another few months anyway. lol Now I can concentrate on becoming a real aunt!!! I can't wait for my sister to have her baby. Only about a month away now! Yaaay!! :-D

More Awaiting...

Heavenly baby,
Awaiting your arrival
Is so hard to do.
Loving you more,
Each and every day
You will be adored by many.

Mother and father of yours
Oh, how they can't wait to see you.
Relatives galore,
Going to shower you with hugs and kisses.
Already, little one, you have become
Nearer to our hearts than you can possibly know.

Written by melonlady1724 . Link to this entry
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Who KNEW! You have been holding back on us Comment from maidothemist - 5/14/05 10:08 PM

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Cleveland

I leave for Cleveland this morning, for checkups and tests at the Cleveland Clinic. I'm dreading going for some reason, although this isn't unusual. I hate Cleveland, and I'm always worried about my tests. The one I dislike most is the walking test. I'm always afraid that I'm going to do worse than the time before, that I'll feel completely out of breath and exhausted like I usually get. I keep telling myself just to walk slower than I do, I'm not running a marathon. Who knows if I'll listen this time. :-/ I'll be back tomorrow afternoon.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Five Things

The weather is starting to get a lot nicer, so that can only mean one thing: open windows!! Open windows mean hearing a lot more noises going on in the outside world. And I have realized that there are many noises that I do NOT miss hearing during the winter! Here are some of them.

TOP FIVE NOISES THAT I DON'T MISS HEARING DURING THE WINTER:

5. Sirens - Ok, sirens aren't that bad. However, I began a habit where, every time I hear a siren, I immediately say to myself, "God Bless whoever needs the sirens." This is not a bad thing! But when you open your windows during the spring and hear a siren at least 10 times a day, you feel like you're continuously blessing someone! lol

4. Vulgarity from Children - This is never surprising to me anymore, but it is still sad to hear when a group of kids walks by swearing up a storm. And it's not just swearing, either. I've heard an awful lot of sex talk by these kids, too. I'm not talking about high school kids, either. *sigh*

3. Ice Cream Truck - The ice cream truck came around a few times already last month, and I wanted to scream. The music is so darn annoying! And the thing is, I never see kids getting ice cream from the stupid truck!! I really wish they could bypass my street. Or better yet, play different music!!

2. Firecrackers - Yes, sadly, I have heard firecrackers going off already. I've actually seen the KIDS throwing them off, too (there we go with kids again). Firecrackers are fine around the 4th of July, but for heavens sake, this early??? Ugh!!

And my number 1 sound I don't miss during the winter....(insert drumroll here):

1. Car alarms! - I know car alarms go off during the winter, but they are more prominent when your windows are open. And I tell you what, I'm going to have some real issues with the person down the street from me! His or her car alarm goes off if you sneeze on it!! It went off at least 8 times today,and the owner apparently thought they had to wait a few minutes before turning it off every time!! OY!!!!

Blahness II

I'm slowly writing about frustrations I've recently been having, the first one being about my friend's father. I'm happy that he is finally home, but still sad that no one knows how much more time they will have with him. They are all still in my prayers.

My world lately has been filled with babies. And don't get me wrong, I just love them! My best friend's baby is just the cutest little thing. And my sister is going to have a beautiful baby, I'm sure of it! My other best friend's little boy is my godson. Even on my soap, there are little babies, and not the fake dolls they use. lol But as much as I'm happy for everyone I know who has a baby, I'm feeling sad about the fact that I may never have one.

I can't physically carry a child because of my lung condition. That I have known since I was a little kid. And it never bothered me. I grew up never even considering the thought of having a baby. And I was fine with that. But even if I had a baby some other way, without me carrying it, I don't know if I could physically care for it. Maybe at first, but I definitely would be tired out from doing things for it all the time. I know I could never fathom the idea of having a child without being with someone. Which leads to a whole other story......(not going there tonight).

I told my pregnant sister that I was puzzled as to why I received a Mother's Day gift from my best friend, when I'm not a mother. I am a godmother, but not to her child. My sister just looked at me, smiled, and said "You are a mother." I wasn't sure how to take that. I know that she didn't mean anything condescending by it. In fact, I thought it was a little endearing. I guess being a former teacher, I've never lost the loving and caring qualities I have for any child. I'm pretty sure I'd be a good mom. I am just not sure I'll ever get the chance to be one.

Sure, I can be a great aunt. It is nice to be able to give the kid back to the parents when they are acting up. lol But being a mom is so much different. And who knows if it'll happen for me one day. :-(

Written by melonlady1724 . Link to this entry
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oh colleenif I am still young enough (eeek tomorrow is my birthday) I would carry a baby for you Comment from maidothemist - 5/14/05 10:06 PM

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Oh, And One More Thing...

I almost forgot! One of my best friends (who was mentioned in the journal I wrote about her father....who came home today, by the way), called me earlier and said she had something for me. So, she stopped by with her hubby and the baby (awww, baby!). She handed a big brown paper bag to me and said, "Happy Mother's Day!" Now mind you, I am not a mother. I am a godmother, but not to her child. So, I don't know why she was giving me something, but peeked in the bag anyway! And these were the words out of my mouth: "Oh no, now I have seven!" They gave me another betta fish! This betta is really cool though, it is all white, and you can actually see some of it's insides. It's not an albino fish, though, because it doesn't have any red eyes. It's very neat! I did thank her very much. And then we focused on the little baby who was making all sorts of noises! She was so very happy at that moment! (Making me wish all the more that my sister's baby was here!) I could sense that my friend was in a better mood than when I saw her the other day. I'm glad her father is home, and I hope her family will be able to gather to be together. :)

Mom's Day!!

I'd like to take this moment to give a huge shout out to all the mother's who read my journal. I don't think a lot of people read my journal, but I do know a couple of the ladies who read it are moms!! Happy Mother's Day to you!! You are amazing, and your children are so lucky to have you!! XXXOOO

I spent most of the day with my family. I went to church with my mom, to the store with one of my sisters, and then to my parents' house for dinner. It was very nice, and I'm still stuffed! I made my mom a necklace/bracelet set, which she liked (yay!). I'm now ready to go get in more comfy attire, and catch up on my soap and a couple other shows I haven't watched yet. I'm ready for a very relaxing evening!! :-D

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Blahness

The past few days, I've been feeling somewhat down, and for several reasons. I'm not going to get into them all, but the one thing really bothering me is that my friend's father is dying. And my heart aches for her. She just lost one of her brothers unexpectedly a few weeks ago, and now her family is dealing with the fact that nothing more can be done for her father, and that he wants to come home from the hospital to be with them all. I was at her house last night and the night before. Last night, she was more of a wreck, and actually cried a few times when talking to me. It's so hard, I want to make everything better for her, and yet I can't. This should be such a happy time for her, she should be fully enjoying her 4-month old baby girl. And yet, she's worried about her father, her mother, and the stress of still not having a full time teaching job and stress of her subbing job. It just doesn't seem fair. I've actually had some tears for her myself. I pray every day that her father will be strong enough to come home, and that she will have some sort of peace in her life soon. That may not come for a while, though. :-(

Written by melonlady1724 . Link to this entry
This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)
:( Sounds like she is goin thru a lot- I bet she appreciates your friendship
Comment from maidothemist - 5/7/05 9:28 PM

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

SCOTT'S FINALLY GONE!!!!!

It is about gosh darn time that Scott Savol is off the show!! What took America so long to realize that there was a LOT more talent on the show that had to lose their chance, while he sat there smugly every week??? FINALLY HE'S GONE!! Yes, I'm happy about it!! LOL

Next to go....Anthony?? Hmmmmmmm.......

Awaiting....

Anticipating the day when you will make your debut.

Making loved ones feel so many emotions:

Crying, with tears of joy.

Smiling.

Hugging.

Congratulating one another,

On being someone meaningful in your life:

Mother

Father

Grandparent

Aunt

Uncle

Bringing us together, you will have that special gift.

Awaiting your arrival is so hard to do.

Written by melonlady1724 . Link to this entry
This entry has 2 comments: (Add your own)
hmmm... i see you already did... Comment from maidothemist - 5/4/05 12:31 AM

lovely- but you need to do something about that html... ::::::::::::Running away:::::::::: Comment from maidothemist - 5/4/05 12:30 AM

American Idol

Ok, after watching Idol tonight, I just can't speculate who'll be booted tomorrow. I'm almost certain who will be STAYING. Shocker, could it be Scott Savol?? I just couldn't stand listening to him tonight, watching his smug look, and listening to his cocky attitude toward Simon. He makes me sick!! :-X

And after all this, I forgot to vote tonight. Ok, I take that back. I tried for half an hour to vote for Bo. I couldn't get through. I thought I'd try again later, and ended up being sidetracked by the Law & Order double shows. Oooopsie. Guess I can blame myself if Bo is booted! :-(.........

Written by melonlady1724 . Link to this entry
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omdeargo- you dont think Bo will be booted do you?? Comment from maidothemist - 5/4/05 12:31 AM

Monday, May 02, 2005

Cat Naps

One of my most favorite things is taking a nap, but the best part is when my cat wants to take one with me. I grab my blanket from the floor, and Mittens jumps on the bed when I'm all settled. He creeps under the blanket and drapes himself across my legs, or my stomach. It's just such a comfortable feeling. After a while, he just curls up in a ball right next to me. It's like we're attached. lol I just woke up from one of these cat naps with my little man (that's one of his many nicknames), and I feel refreshed! He is still under the blanket, though. Cats do sleep longer than humans. lol

Written by melonlady1724 . Link to this entry
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Awwww...How nice. I wish someone would take a picture of the two of you, and send a copy to me. ;) Comment from anglswinks - 5/3/05 11:14 PM

My Weekend

My weekend in Horseheads, NY was very nice! We didn't do too much on Friday after getting there. We had dinner, and 2 of my younger cousins were dropped off to spend the night because their parents were out gallavanting in a limo with friends. Now, I must admit, that these 2 cousins aren't really on the top of my list. However, I think since they are growing older, they are less annoying! I actually had a nice evening with them, talking and playing cards. One of them said she felt bad for me, because of the oxygen and everything. I told her about my lung condition, and that it could be worse: I might not be here! She was like, true, I'm glad you are! It was rather endearing, I think. :)

Saturday was spent getting ready for the shower at 4pm. My mom went out with my aunt for a bunch of things, and I tried to decorate for a while. I also put together the favors, which were flower pots with pansies. They turned out to be very pretty, but I hate working with dirt, so I tried to get it over with as fast as I could. lol Then we all eventually were putting things together. Boy, did we have a ton of food! People started coming before 4pm, and before I knew it, my grandma's house was filled with people! We had a lot of fun, though. The games were entertaining, especially the baby food game. Everyone had to guess what food was in the jar without opening or tasting it. I thought it was funny at how those jars were being analyzed! lol Then my sis and her hubby opened the gifts. They got some really nice things! My mom gave them a bunch of outfits that my sister used to wear when she was a little girl. I thought that was too cute!! So, all in all, it was a very nice shower, and I'm glad that everyone had a good time. At least that's what they were telling me! lol

I brought my jewelry with me, and I will be making a necklace set for one of my aunts when I get the colors she wants. Another aunt bought 2 necklace sets, and gave me more money than I was asking, because she thinks I need to be asking for more money!! lol I didn't argue with her. lol I am sort of just starting out, so I didn't know what to ask for! Perhaps I should be asking for more, I'll consider it!

Sunday before leaving for home, my mom, Grandma, and I went to see another one of my aunt's new apartment. Yes, I have a lot of aunts. lol This aunt is mentally challenged, and she is just a wonderful person. The apartment she'll be moving in to is so nice for her, and I can see why she can't wait! It's much closer to my Grandma's house than where she lives now, so it'll be easier to get her when things go on. I'm excited for her when she gets to move in. Right now, they are waiting for someone to inspect the apartment from Social Services to make sure it's ok for her. I wish they weren't taking their good old time!!

My only problem during the weekend was feeling rather out of breath no matter what I was doing. And I'm not sure why it happened. It could have been the weather, it was rather humid and damp feeling. It could have been the atmosphere, since it is rather hilly where my Grandma lives. I'm not really sure. I do feel a little better today, although tired. So who knows. I still had a really nice time! :)