Blahness II

I'm slowly writing about frustrations I've recently been having, the first one being about my friend's father. I'm happy that he is finally home, but still sad that no one knows how much more time they will have with him. They are all still in my prayers.

My world lately has been filled with babies. And don't get me wrong, I just love them! My best friend's baby is just the cutest little thing. And my sister is going to have a beautiful baby, I'm sure of it! My other best friend's little boy is my godson. Even on my soap, there are little babies, and not the fake dolls they use. lol But as much as I'm happy for everyone I know who has a baby, I'm feeling sad about the fact that I may never have one.

I can't physically carry a child because of my lung condition. That I have known since I was a little kid. And it never bothered me. I grew up never even considering the thought of having a baby. And I was fine with that. But even if I had a baby some other way, without me carrying it, I don't know if I could physically care for it. Maybe at first, but I definitely would be tired out from doing things for it all the time. I know I could never fathom the idea of having a child without being with someone. Which leads to a whole other story......(not going there tonight).

I told my pregnant sister that I was puzzled as to why I received a Mother's Day gift from my best friend, when I'm not a mother. I am a godmother, but not to her child. My sister just looked at me, smiled, and said "You are a mother." I wasn't sure how to take that. I know that she didn't mean anything condescending by it. In fact, I thought it was a little endearing. I guess being a former teacher, I've never lost the loving and caring qualities I have for any child. I'm pretty sure I'd be a good mom. I am just not sure I'll ever get the chance to be one.

Sure, I can be a great aunt. It is nice to be able to give the kid back to the parents when they are acting up. lol But being a mom is so much different. And who knows if it'll happen for me one day. :-(

Written by melonlady1724 . Link to this entry
This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)
oh colleenif I am still young enough (eeek tomorrow is my birthday) I would carry a baby for you Comment from maidothemist - 5/14/05 10:06 PM

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